The Non-Apology apology

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by Javaforgotme, Feb 22, 2015.

  1. Javaforgotme

    Javaforgotme Well-Known Member Banned User

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    Anyone else sick of the Non-Apology apology, where people say, "I'm sorry if you......"? It's like people are saying I'm sorry that YOU have a problem - but they are not acknowledging that they did something that pissed you off.

    I just got off the phone with my oil-burner company - who couldn't come to repair my oil burner last night because they had too many calls and not enough staff.. When I called to complain, the Supervisor said, "I'm sorry IF you were inconvenienced". I said "of course I was inconvenienced - that's why I called to complain". The guy reacted like he didn't know why I was saying.

    This cultural error - of not really apologizing - started about 15 years ago - best I can recall- where people don't really apologize - they respond saying "I'm sorry if YOU....."

    Isn't part of apologizing acknowledging that you injured the other party in some way?

    Am I just getting crotchety in my older middle age, or does this piss you off too?
     
  2. Boomer

    Boomer Who is your daddy and what does he do?

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    What do you do for a living?
     
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  3. HowieStearn

    HowieStearn HateClub

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    [​IMG]
     
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  4. SouthernListen

    SouthernListen I don't follow the crowd. Sorry about that. VIP

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    I understand the concept you're talking about, the non-apology apology. But in this case I think they actually apologized. They said "we're sorry you were inconvenienced". One could infer that they acknowledge their failure to get out inconvienced you. You seem to prefer they'd have said "we're sorry we inconvienced you", which is merely active vs passive voice.

    Had they said "we're sorry you're unhappy with our service" that would have been the non-apology. Because this puts the emphasis on your reaction rather than their failure to act, and might imply you're fucked in the head for being unhappy, rather than admitting they fucked up.
     
  5. smichal

    smichal A1 Dick Game

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    Yes I hate it
     
  6. SouthernListen

    SouthernListen I don't follow the crowd. Sorry about that. VIP

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    We're sorry you feel that way.
     
  7. yourmomanddad

    yourmomanddad Active Member

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    The supervisor? He's around
     
  8. dexterdog

    dexterdog Well-Known Member

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    Thanks Obama.
     
  9. Head Censor

    Head Censor Turgid Member VIP

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    On the whole, I think there's a lot of truth to what your saying. We have an epidemic of people who are pathologically unable to accept personal responsibility for anything. At the same time, if I can play the devil's advocate for a moment, our society has been altered in such a way that people are now conditioned against ever admitting to any wrongdoing. I see three primary reasons for this.

    1) Our society is plagued by a massive overadundance of a certain class of lawyer. These scum sucking leeches spend every waking moment searching out any and every molehill that they can possibly turn into a mountain. An admission of guilt in this scenario, even if you're just trying to be polite to or appease an upset customer, can be your ultimate undoing.

    2) Outside of instances where lawyers are involved, too many people today expect unreasonable compensation in situations where they have been legitimately aggrieved in a very minor way. Just because your server brought you coffee with cream instead of sugar at the end of your meal, doesn't mean the entire dinner should be comped. Even when the fault is clear, being too easily forthcoming with effusive admissions of guilt often only serves to spur on those with massive senses of entitlement to demand even more ridiculous and unwarranted levels of compensation.

    3) Too many people today expect apologies in situations where no apology is warranted. If - and again, I'm just playing the devil's advocate here - your boiler repair company had every employee working as many hours as they could to handle as quickly as possible every trouble call that came in during a historic cold snap, should they really have to apologize for the fact that their response times aren't as quick as normal. I'm not calling you out here personally because I don't know the specifics of your situation. But I increasingly see instances in my life where people will try to hold a service provider responsible for something over which they have no control.
     
    Last edited: Feb 22, 2015
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  10. Vashier

    Vashier VIP Extreme Gold

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    We taught the kids that if the word BUT comes out of their mouth during an apology, it was no apology.

    As to we are sorry for your inconvenience, iffy. Like southern pointed out they were apologizing for your inconvenience. BUT did they apologize for the mistake that made you inconvenienced in the first place? The inconvenience isn't the issue, the original fuck up is.
     
  11. SouthernListen

    SouthernListen I don't follow the crowd. Sorry about that. VIP

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    Some customers think that just because they pay a company they should get guaranteed results even when things are outside the control of the company providing the service. Like they get their home sprayed for bugs and 9 months later they see bugs again. Yeah, it's not a lifetime treatment. Or they take their beater car in for a new alternator and a week later the water pump goes out. It's not that their piece of shit is 15 years old, it's that the mechanic did something. I've heard people complain about their lawn applicator because their lawn doesn't look great. Then you ask them how often they water it. "whuh?"
     
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  12. smichal

    smichal A1 Dick Game

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    one time in Superstore the wrong price came up twice for garlic
    I was at the self-scan checkout
    the nearest cashier was a teenage bitch who said "if it makes you FEEL BETTER I will try another code"