It doesn't matter if you're funny or not, because the HSS never is! Write your own monologue jokes regarding current events. I'd bet every penny I have that most of you are funnier than Howard, no matter how hacky you intend to be! I'll start! The body of an American woman, Sarai Sierra, was found in Turkey yesterday. And in a related note, Robin, twelve turkeys were found in the body of Chris Christie. And speaking of Turkey, a terrorist blew himself in from of the American embassy over there. Wow, they finally figured out how to make dynamite. Next month maybe theyâ€™ll figure out how to make deodorant. And in Pennsylvania, Punxsutawney Phil didnâ€™t see its own shadow and that means weâ€™ll have an early Spring. Meanwhile in New Jersey, Snooki saw her reflectionâ€¦and her mirror cracked. And our old friend, Ed Koch, passed away. He was a one of a kind, that guy. A gay, liberal Jew who was elected mayor of New York. Weâ€™ll never see that again, Robin!