The Origins of "Gunk"

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by Benjamen, Apr 8, 2015.

  1. Benjamen

    Benjamen Well-Known Member

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    I've seen a few posters ask where Howard's nickname "Gunk" came from. Here's a quick rundown:

    On June 26, 1996, Paul D. Colford, a former radio columnist for Newsday, released the unauthorized Howard Stern biography called King of All Media.

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    Although Howard was consistently accessible during Colford's eight years at Newsday, he would not cooperate with the making of this book -- and he instructed Ben Stern, Mel Karmazin, and a handful of others to remain silent as well. But plenty of Howard's old colleagues did participate, and their interviews, along with the author's thorough and extensive research, are the foundation of this very insightful biography.

    Here's where Scott Passeser, one of about six friends Howard made at the predominantly white high school he attended from sophomore to senior year, first reveals Howard's nickname:

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    Also on that page are the revelations that Howard:
    • Was observed showering in his underwear after gym class on at least one occasion
    • Sometimes skipped showers completely, and just put on his street clothes over his sweaty body
    • Banged his head into a ceiling light after celebrating a Ping-Pong victory, sending everyone into fits of laughter
    • Was a terrible driver with bad coordination and depth perception, and terrified his passengers

    Here's what a 17-year-old Gunk looked like:

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    But he went from Gunk to Hunk when it came to his all-Jewish summer camp, Camp Wel-Met. There, he was sexually irresistible, and carried the nickname "Shades of Blue" for his beautiful, rapidly-darting eyes.

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    Believe it or not, that shirtless Adonis with the phallic log, brushing his leg up against his fellow male camper, was actually considered gawky and gunky at high school!

    The Gunk nickname was even printed in the tabloids four months before Colford's book was released. Howard addressed it on the air on February 20, 1996 -- but only after Robin brought it up first:

    Robin: You're in the tabloids this week.
    Howard: ... It was that I was unpopular in high school, and that I was a gunky, gawky guy.
    Robin: Did anybody call you Gunky?
    Howard: I told you, the one guy who did was this guy Scott Passeser, for about uh, about a year. And he's the guy who did the interview. Probably just wants to be famous and hear his name.
    Robin: I was gonna say, "Gunky, I've never heard that before."
    Howard: It was because he called me that, because we would give each other -- He was the biggest Gunk around! I mean, you know, he was as gunky as they come! The guy was a total loser.
    Robin: And then he talks about some guy beating you up ... and you offering him a joint?

     
    Last edited: Apr 8, 2015
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  2. Benjamen

    Benjamen Well-Known Member

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    The nickname didn't die with this book. On January 15, 1997, two months before the release of Private Parts the movie, Luigi Lucaire released the book Howard Stern A to Z, an alphabetical biography.

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    Gunkard made it into the G's:

    [​IMG]
     
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  3. SillyOldMan

    SillyOldMan Well-Known Member

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    Hah, yet another phallic "comedy gold" joke. My favorite quote from the work you did before was the comment that Howard was obsessed with phallic jokes. And here's another "funny" picture confirming that obsession with the penis.
     
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  4. teehee

    teehee Friend Of The Friendless VIP

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    You are fab Benjamin!! can't wait to talk to you..
     
  5. Benjamen

    Benjamen Well-Known Member

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    Yep, when he was a 20-year-old camp counselor (back when he was nearly fired for fucking all of his coworkers, he now claims), Howard "had a ritual of 'phallicizing,'" according to camper Kary D. Preston. From the book: "He'd pick out things that looked like a penis, such as a cucumber or even a jet airplane. He'd never really grown up, if you asked me."
     
  6. Limo Wreck

    Limo Wreck Aboard the great mothership Staff Member

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    You just cant go wrong with a Benjamen thread.
     
  7. Stag

    Stag Well-Known Member VIP

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    [​IMG]
     
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  8. MobyDick

    MobyDick Well-Known Member

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    so we are to believe that the Howard in the photo with the log was the guy banging all the women during summer camp? They must have been unattractive or he was handing out free drugs.
     
  9. MiamiInk

    MiamiInk Active Member Banned User

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    would have thought it was from all the jiz he's swallowed..
     
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  10. Benjamen

    Benjamen Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]
     
  11. Benjamen

    Benjamen Well-Known Member

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    This is what he looked like when he was counseling kids, "phallicizing" cucumbers and airplanes, and allegedly fucking every coworker he encountered.

    [​IMG]

    Notice the exposed nipple. He probably barely had time to dress after his latest sexual liaison.
     
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  12. OV

    OV Rapscallion

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    @dawg

    Do you think we can get @Benjamen a "Stern Historian" badge (something akin to the ones the news guys have)??
     
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  13. OV

    OV Rapscallion

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  14. Trophy Knife

    Trophy Knife Well-Known Member

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    Really man. Looking like that, he would have to have been handing out roofies to get any.
     
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  15. Gunky McShekelstein

    Gunky McShekelstein Well-Known Member

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    The Gunkmaster General in his natural habitat.
     
  16. HS Cult Leader

    HS Cult Leader Elite Member Gold

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    That's what Gunk is to me! Growing up working on cars, I used a ton of that shit.

    [​IMG]
     
  17. Stag

    Stag Well-Known Member VIP

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    Yes and Howard use's it to grease rear ends.
     
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  18. Mr Pink

    Mr Pink Well-Known Member

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    Still not a great nickname even after the explanation.
    Gunk is a messy dirty substance therefore to be gunky would be to exhibit those qualities. That's not how they were describing him. They may have been going for gawky or gangly, but Gunky doesn't make any sense.

    Therefore it's dumb nickname which doesn't serve to properly denigrate him and shouldn't be used.
     
  19. OV

    OV Rapscallion

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    Beg to differ: It graphically and sematically conjures up the off-putting imagery of an unsightly mess. And IMO, that's spot on.
     
  20. SillyOldMan

    SillyOldMan Well-Known Member

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    I agree. It's a good one and its unique. I like it because it brings back the timeline of people making fun of the oddity that is Howchie all the way back to high school. It's not a new thing. Once a Gunk, always a Gunk. Wigward Gunkstein lives on!
     
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