The Raunchiest Jokes From Justin Bieber’s Roast On Comedy Central

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by Blazing Buffalo, Mar 16, 2015.

  1. Blazing Buffalo

    Blazing Buffalo Members Only

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    Jeff Ross brings it as usual. Everyone else... Hit or miss.

    On Saturday, March 14th, Comedy Central’s usual suspects and a few extras came together to roast Justin Bieber. You know, the one who just turned 21. The roast isn’t scheduled to air until Monday, March 30th, but many of the night’s jokes have already leaked online. They’re as filthy as you’d expect them to be.

    Martha Stewart:

    “The only place people will be following you in jail is into the shower.”

    Chris D’Elia:

    “Justin Bieber, the man. Why are you here? … You are about to get fucked harder than Orlando Bloom fucked Selena Gomez.”

    Kevin Hart:

    “Justin has fans in middle school or staying 500 feet away from one.”

    Jeff Ross:

    “Selena Gomez wanted to be here but she’s dating men now. Is it true you dumped her because she grew a mustache before you?”

    “Selena Gomez had sex with [you]… proving Mexicans will do the disgusting jobs Americans just won’t do.”

    “If Anne Frank had heard your music, she would’ve Uber’d to Auschwitz.”

    Ludacris:

    “You act so much like a pussy, Ellen [DeGeneres] tried to eat you.”


    Some other decent lines in link

    http://uproxx.com/tv/2015/03/justin-bieber-comedy-central-roast-raunchiest-jokes/
     
  2. EndOfLine

    EndOfLine PLATINUM SPONSOR VIP

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    Jeff Ross:

    “Selena Gomez wanted to be here but she’s dating men now. Is it true you dumped her because she grew a mustache before you?”

    “Selena Gomez had sex with [you]… proving Mexicans will do the disgusting jobs Americans just won’t do.”

    “If Anne Frank had heard your music, she would’ve Uber’d to Auschwitz.”

    :jj:
     
  3. smichal

    smichal A1 Dick Game

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    no lampinelli?
     
  4. BethSucks

    BethSucks Well-Known Member Staff Member

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  5. Just Me

    Just Me VIP Extreme Gold

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    The Ellen one was good.
     
  6. Droog

    Droog Well-Known Member VIP

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    No Gilbert? :nocheer:
     
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  7. SternsEgo

    SternsEgo Well-Known Member

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    Jeff killed
     
  8. broccoli rob

    broccoli rob thanks for the memories DW3

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    :lol:
     
  9. Mlaw

    Mlaw Quite Contrarian Gold

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  10. broccoli rob

    broccoli rob thanks for the memories DW3

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    she is too much of a big shot to roast anyone now. hell, her replacement Amy Schumer, doesn't even roast anyone anymore.
     
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  11. aerostern

    aerostern Well-Known Member

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    Kevin hart is awful...
     
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  12. Fusotron

    Fusotron New Member

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  13. Gitfiddle

    Gitfiddle Live Deliciously

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    SNL newcomer Pete Davidson, who did a solid job as first roaster of the night, exhibits a brash, uniquely New York cockiness that takes on a soulful dimension once you learn he lost his firefighter father on 9/11. But just try not busting a gut when Ross claims “the only person who ever inhaled more smoke than Snoop Dogg was Pete Davidson’s dad in the World Trade Center… And I’m sorry, Shaq—I know that was one of your favorite buildings to climb.”

    :cwl:
     
  14. EndOfLine

    EndOfLine PLATINUM SPONSOR VIP

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    :jj:

    Ninja!
     
  15. MEGAdawg

    MEGAdawg Well-Known Member VIP

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    Pete Davidson's fucking terrible on SNL.

    He sits there and stares at the cue cards the entire skit he's in. Learn a fucking line you nitwit.
     
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  16. smichal

    smichal A1 Dick Game

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    167. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 03/16 **#2**
    He might have said he changed his ways but this foreign born former A+ list tweener turned A- list singer who needs a new hit record soon, insisted as part of his appearance at a recent Vegas event that all the women who served his table must be open to having sex with him. Apparently there was no trouble finding those women. With him? Really? Justin Bieber
     
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  17. smichal

    smichal A1 Dick Game

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    24. ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER 04/03 **#2**
    This A list openly gay celebrity is cheating on her wife with a young blonde intern. The intern looks exactly like a famous ex she had back in the day. Ellen DeGeneres (Portia de Rossi)/Anne Heche