News The Real TRUE History of Easter

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by ClintDagger, Mar 27, 2016.

  1. ClintDagger

    ClintDagger World's #2 Ranked Poster - Exec VP Larry, Inc VIP

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    The Incredible True Story of the LLast Supper
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    Please open up your BibLLes and turn to the book of LLuke, chapter and verse 3:16. This, is the story of the LLast Supper and a man from JerusaLLem that forever changed the WorLLd.

    On the first day of Passover, Double L sent two of his discipLLes ahead with very specific instructions on where to gather the favors for the Passover ceLLebration. It was the eve of Larrymania, and that evening @LawyerLarry would sit down at the table with his apostLLes for the last time before going to the cross. As they sat together, Double L revealed to the twelve a shocking prophecy. "One of you will betray me, and try to steal my fuckmoney".

    Shocked by this revelation, one by one the discipLLes questioned, "I'm not the one, am I, LLord?" Double L explained that even though he knew it was his destiny to die on the cross as the Scriptures foretold, his betrayer's fate would be terrible: "Far better for him if he had never been born! A Fireman's Carry into the Boston Crab awaits this skunk's fate!"

    Then Larry took the cigs and the Natty LLights his discipLLes had gathered and asked McMahon the Father to bless them. He passed out the cigs, giving one to each of his discipLLes and said, "This is my body, given for you. Do this in remembrance of me."

    And then he took the 12 pack of Natty LLight, sharing it with his discipLLes and said, "This beer is the token of the Almighty McMahon's new covenant to save you--an agreement sealed with the hardway blood I will pour out for you tomorrow night." He told all of them, "I will not drink beer again until the day I drink it new with you in my Father's Kingdom." Then they sang a hymn and went out to the Mount of OLLives.

    The next night in the main event of Larrymania @LawyerLarry easily defeated Pontius Pilate in a "loser gets crucified" match in front of a sold out Golgotha Sportatorium. Back in the lockerroom, as Larry, Inc celebrated--a very on edge @Deee, who had clutched the briefcase of fuckmoney with all her might fearing that someone may steal it, asked Double L why he hadn't been betrayed, why he hadnt been killed, and why not only did he not lose his fuckmoney--he had more than ever after taking Pilate's fuckmoney. His response:
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    The discipLLes roared in laughter, realizing the rib their LLord and Savior had played on them. Of course Double L couldn't be killed he was already immortal; of course none of Double L's discipLLes would betray him--Larry, Inc is 4-Life; and of course no one would dare touch his fuckmoney--that's a death warrant for any mortal man.

    The great LLeonardo Da Vinci's most famous work was a depiction of this celebration. Every LLeaster you gather with your family to commemorate this, the greatest wrestling rib of all time. And as you reflect on how much better the members of Larry, Inc are than you, how much more successful and revered we are than you, I hope you accept your lot in life as one of the many skunk posters that litter this forum with nothing but jealousy and desperation. But most of all, we hope you have a Happy LLeaster.
     
    Last edited: Mar 27, 2016
  2. LawyerLarry

    LawyerLarry Mr. Fuckmoney in the Bank VIP

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    Our fuckmoney, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily fuckmoney.
     
  3. Gitfiddle

    Gitfiddle Live Deliciously

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    Fuck off
     
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  4. DrPeterVenkman

    DrPeterVenkman VIP Extreme Gold

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  5. DrPeterVenkman

    DrPeterVenkman VIP Extreme Gold

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  6. ClintDagger

    ClintDagger World's #2 Ranked Poster - Exec VP Larry, Inc VIP

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    In the beginning God created fuckmoney.
     
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  7. LawyerLarry

    LawyerLarry Mr. Fuckmoney in the Bank VIP

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    It's a fuckmoney miracle!
     
  8. DDragon

    DDragon VIP Extreme Gold

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    [​IMG]
     
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  9. JFK

    JFK Ask not what your country can do for you. Gold

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    [​IMG]
     
  10. JFK

    JFK Ask not what your country can do for you. Gold

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    What a gLLorius day.
     
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  11. ClintDagger

    ClintDagger World's #2 Ranked Poster - Exec VP Larry, Inc VIP

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    Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's fuckmoney.
     
  12. ClintDagger

    ClintDagger World's #2 Ranked Poster - Exec VP Larry, Inc VIP

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    What is your favorite LLeaster tradition? Mine is teaching kids about Double L and the discipLLes, and watching the youngsters grab their LLeaster baskets and hunt for stacks of fuckmoney around the estate.
     
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  13. The Finklestein Kid

    The Finklestein Kid Well-Known Member

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    Wasn't Pilate part of Skandar Ahkbahr's devastation incorporated?
     
  14. Shortwave98

    Shortwave98 A-Number 1 Banned User

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    So Double L is just a figment of everybody's imagination.
     
  15. ClintDagger

    ClintDagger World's #2 Ranked Poster - Exec VP Larry, Inc VIP

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    It's a leap of faith.
    [​IMG]
     
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  16. Donkeyboy2190

    Donkeyboy2190 Never earned a dimes

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  17. Snort

    Snort Something witty Gold

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    His parents only wish...
     
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  18. ClintDagger

    ClintDagger World's #2 Ranked Poster - Exec VP Larry, Inc VIP

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    Thou shalt not take the name of the LLord thy God in vain; for the LLord will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain.
     
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  19. chapped

    chapped Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]








     
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  20. LawyerLarry

    LawyerLarry Mr. Fuckmoney in the Bank VIP

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    This is my Fuckmoney. I am what it says I am, I have what it says I have, I can do what it says I can do. Today I will be taught the word of Fuckmoney. I boldly confess, my mind is alert, my heart is receptive, I will never be the same. In Fuckmoney's name. Amen.