The Shiv's drunken tip of the day

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Shivvy, Feb 24, 2012.

  1. Shivvy

    Shivvy 100k Post Club

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    if youre drunk and you hit something... flee the scene




    word is born
     
  2. P-B

    P-B Honourary Canuck Gold

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    What? We don't get another mug shot to add to the collection?
     
  3. Shivvy

    Shivvy 100k Post Club

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    just helping out my fellow salooners
     
  4. SIPAWITZ

    SIPAWITZ Bialy Whore Banned User

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    you sound just like my uncle junior
     
  5. Shivvy

    Shivvy 100k Post Club

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    you Tony Soprano?
     
  6. banksy

    banksy You wrote "I love you" in lipstick on the mirror VIP

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    not proud, but I've done this :facepalm:
     
  7. Shivvy

    Shivvy 100k Post Club

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    'at a boy
     
  8. DrSublux

    DrSublux Who am dis VIP

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  9. wayfaerer

    wayfaerer New Member

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    worked wonders for slippy, apparently
     
  10. SIPAWITZ

    SIPAWITZ Bialy Whore Banned User

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    lol...no

    but my late uncle was always teaching us lifes lessons like this
     
  11. nazdrowie

    nazdrowie Sultan of Sweat Gold

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    kinda hard to flee when it's my face hitting the ground.
     
  12. banksy

    banksy You wrote "I love you" in lipstick on the mirror VIP

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    red solo cup does not = cushion
     
  13. banksy

    banksy You wrote "I love you" in lipstick on the mirror VIP

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    20 yr old bansky drove drunk like a dickhead :facepalm:
     
  14. Peanut2008

    Peanut2008 New Member

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    But the greatest love--the love above all loves, Even greater than that of a mother... Is the tender, passionate, undying love, Of one beer drunken slob for another.
    Irish love ballad
     
  15. nazdrowie

    nazdrowie Sultan of Sweat Gold

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    ror
     
  16. Peanut2008

    Peanut2008 New Member

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    I like funny quotes about drinking, or the things some drunks say.....

    A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says 'You've been brought here for drinking.' The drunk says 'Okay, let's get started.'
    Henny Youngman
     
  17. k4D3t

    k4D3t Reverse Apache Master VIP

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    you must be listening to Carolla -- he rants on that all the time -- no good can come of reporting an accident when you're drunk (unless you've hurt someone, obviously)
     
  18. Mack

    Mack Well-Known Member

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    Just long and far enough to report it from a place that serves alcohol. Order a double shot to calm your nerves while you wait for the police.

    :up:
     
  19. banksy

    banksy You wrote "I love you" in lipstick on the mirror VIP

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    "take my wife. please!" :D
     
  20. sstressed

    sstressed enhancement toker VIP

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    i was being driven back from a bar by a friend! she was a bit buzzed! she side swiped a truck while driving her scary boyfriends very expensive mercedes, then proceeded to yell at the guy in the truck! once she realized it was her fault, she calmed down a bit but the car had some body damage! the truck didn't seem to have a scratch so he didn't report it! she decided to park the car down the street from her house where a party was going on. the boyfriend comes back into town and after some shit basically accepted that the car got a hit and run!

    with a face like that, i believed everything she said too!