The Trial of Schmoopy

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by RH Goatcabin, Oct 13, 2011.

  1. RH Goatcabin

    RH Goatcabin Notable Member VIP

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    Menace. Dawg Saloon's own Ernest T. Bass?

    Discuss.
     
  2. jackie the jerk

    jackie the jerk Not Mexican VIP

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    Harmless but annoys some folk.
     
  3. Bro

    Bro Oligarchical Corporatocracy VIP Gold

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    Village idiot. I coined that just so you know.
     
  4. hockeygrl

    hockeygrl Cancer hand Gold

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    Ernest T. Bass was a fictional character on the American TV sitcom The Andy Griffith Show. He was played by Howard Morris.
    Ernest T. was an ignorant and obstreperous mountain man with a penchant for troublemaking, particularly vandalous rock throwing, which wreaked havoc on the otherwise sedentary town of Mayberry. He lived in the mountains neighboring Mayberry, and his appearance in town almost invariably meant trouble for Sheriff Taylor and Deputy Barney Fife. A wild, belligerent hillbilly, he had a scruffy, unkempt appearance, a maniacal laugh, and often spoke in rhyme. When threatened with the law, Ernest T. would generally run off, yelling over his shoulder his famous catchphrase, "You ain't seen the las' of Ernest T. Bass!" Another catchphrase came from his greeting to Andy and Barney, "Howdy do to you and you. It's me, it's me, it's Ernest T.!"
    His behavior was summed up succinctly (and repeatedly) by Barney Fife: "He's a nut!"
    Early on, Ernest T.'s most notable trait is breaking windows with rocks, and he prided himself on being "the best rock thrower in the county." He is notoriously importunate with the women he desires, and regularly uses this tactic to get their attention. He also tries to impress people by informing them that he is saving up for a gold tooth. In episode 98, "Ernest T. Bass Joins the Army", when asked where he planned on putting his gold tooth after the army doctor noticed he still had all of his own, Ernest replied that he planned to have his front teeth knocked out and place the one gold tooth in the middle with space on either side, claiming it would make him look good while he's dancing. In episode 131, "The Education of Ernest T. Bass", he finally gets his gold tooth, but in gold leaf form covering one of his real front teeth.
    In his first appearance (Episode #94, "Mountain Wedding"), Ernest T. has his mind set on marrying Briscoe Darling's daughter Charlene, despite the fact that she is already married to Dud Wash. He breaks the Darlings' window in the middle of the night, and then attempts to serenade Charlene by performing a sort of spoken-word song called "Old Aunt Mariah," accompanied by drumming a gas can, which he "tuned" by tightening and loosening the cap. The family then decides to conduct a faked wedding, to which Ernest T. reacts by devising a nefarious plan to steal the bride, only to discover that it was Barney in disguise.
    In Episode #133, "The Education of Ernest T. Bass", he tries to impress his love interest Ramona (whom he always calls "Romena") by getting an education. It is revealed that he cannot read or write, except for a few posted signs around town and in the hills. (This is somewhat contradictory to earlier episodes, in which he often throws rocks with written notes attached.) Ernest T. attends Helen Crump's elementary school class, where he quickly becomes a nuisance. After she smacks him with a ruler for being disruptive, Ernest T. begins to bond with Miss Crump, calling her his "mother figure," in his signature drawl. Fed up, Helen decides—on Andy's advice—to graduate Ernest T., despite his insufficient education. She gives him his "diploma," which is simply a certificate stating that he knows some arithmetic, can read and write some words, and knows the boundaries of the United States. In a touching ceremony, she announces that Ernest T. Bass has received his diploma "for learning--... For learning."
    Ernest T. Bass' final appearance was in Episode #164, "Malcolm at the Crossroads." He is fired as crossing guard in favor of Malcolm Merriweather, played by Bernard Fox. When Bass first saw Malcolm on the job, he said, "Looks like a octopus!"
    Despite only appearing in five episodes during the series' entire run, Ernest T. Bass is one of The Andy Griffith Show's best remembered characters, and remains a fan favorite. Morris, along with Griffith, Knotts, and many other cast members reprised his role in the 1986 TV movie Return to Mayberry.
    Ernest T. Bass' rock-throwing exploits are commemorated in the Natural Science sections of some museums and universities in the U.S. with "Ernest T. Bass Day," in which people who have stones they are unable to identify are encouraged to bring in for inspection. This usually takes place on April 1, when Bass is believed to have celebrated his birthday on the show.
     
  5. gilaet

    gilaet Xanax Service Dog Staff Member

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  6. ChuckZ

    ChuckZ You're so pusillanimous, oh yea.

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    Give him back to SFN, beg them to let him out of TO.
     
  7. Bro

    Bro Oligarchical Corporatocracy VIP Gold

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    Brain Games is on natgeo.
     
  8. Real

    Real Well-Known Member VIP

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    Thank you Hockey. For all of us under 40 who don't know who Mr.Bass is.:c
     
  9. RH Goatcabin

    RH Goatcabin Notable Member VIP

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    Post of the day!
     
  10. nazdrowie

    nazdrowie Sultan of Sweat Gold

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  11. Shivvy

    Shivvy 100k Post Club

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    he should be on trial for being boring
     
  12. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Shit Mult Hunter

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    [​IMG] :jj:
     
  13. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Shit Mult Hunter

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    FAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :cheer::lol:
     
  14. RH Goatcabin

    RH Goatcabin Notable Member VIP

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    A new charge is brought forth. Citizens, please address...
     
  15. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Shit Mult Hunter

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    I'm many things but boring isn't one of them. :hw:
     
  16. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Shit Mult Hunter

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    I'm under 40 and I knew who Ernest was. :right:
     
  17. RH Goatcabin

    RH Goatcabin Notable Member VIP

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    ^ This
     
  18. Mr. Potato Head

    Mr. Potato Head ~Would Like to Play~ Gold

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    I have no problem with schmoop.:dontknow: Then again, I have beef with no one. I'm not a conflict poster. :woohoo:













    I'm boring. :howdy:
     
  19. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Shit Mult Hunter

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    I don't have a life and Shiv's still jealous of me. :giggle:
     
  20. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Shit Mult Hunter

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    I'm going to bed. Please continue without me. I'll respond accordingly tomorrow. :hhh: