The Ultimate Private Parts the Movie Fact-Finding Thread

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by Benjamen, May 31, 2015.

  1. Benjamen

    Benjamen Well-Known Member

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    Various Fact-Finding threads that I've been putting together this year have all led to this: A nearly scene-by-scene breakdown of the 1997 biopic Private Parts. This thread pairs the largely fictional storyline of the film with its real-life counterpart. (Due to this site's character limit, it's broken up into five posts.)


    “I wanted this to be the biggest moment in the history of entertainment.”

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    In the movie: Through voiceover, Howard explains that his art compelled him to appear as Fartman at the 1992 MTV Awards in Los Angeles. Because Fartman was a radio character (he’d only appeared in costume once before on his Channel 9 show), Howard was introducing most of the viewing audience to Fartman for the first time. “Hey, look. All I want is for my artistic courage to be an inspiration to others. But did my fellow artists appreciate the comedically ironic aspect of my new superhero character? No! They just thought I was an idiot.”

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    In real life: Howard wasn’t there as some kind of artistic expression; he was doing early promotion for the film The Adventures of Fartman. Speaking as "his new superhero character," he addressed the crowd with the same bravado and booming voice used in the National Lampoon recording that Howard stole the Fartman character from.



    Howard boasted, “You may be laughing at my ass now, but when my movie, Fartman, becomes number one, all of Hollywood will kiss my ass!” The movie – which Howard had announced a month earlier on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno – was to be produced by New Line Cinemas. The screenwriter of Pretty Woman and Under Siege penned the script. But the deal fell apart over merchandising. New Line, reeling from all the merchandising profits they missed out on from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movies, wanted all rights to Fartman merchandise. But, according to the LA Times, Howard wanted his radio stations to hawk Fartman movie T-shirts. New Line dropped the project.

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    “Anything bad you say about the Negroes, you’re saying about us.”

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    In the movie: Two schoolmates in 12-year-old Howard’s carpool discuss moving out of Roosevelt “because of those ni99ers.” (Note: It is unclear whether one of them is meant to be the boy Howard masturbated at age 13.) The racially sensitive liberal Ray Stern slams on the brakes and scolds the boys for their language, claiming she and Howard are both “half-Negro.”


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    In real life: The Stern family fled Roosevelt three years after this scene, after Howard’s freshman year at Roosevelt Junior-Senior High School. Howard says his parents decided to move after some black youths beat up his black friend, Alan, “for hanging out with a honkie.” Howard has claimed he was one of the last white students at Roosevelt, but his 1968-69 Roosevelt yearbook shows that 33 percent of his classmates were white. On moving day, Ray Stern was in tears when the family’s next-door neighbor, a “really nice old black man,” tried to convince them to stay. But the Sterns were headed for a high-income area in Rockville Centre, where nearly all of their neighbors were Jewish. They’d already sold their house in Roosevelt to a black woman.


    “Howard, you’re graduating from high school this year. You should be making some kind of plan for the future.”

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    In the movie: In his senior year, Howard is the only white student at Roosevelt High School. He spends his gym period leering at the “rhinoceros penises” of his all-nude black classmates.

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    In real life: Howard attended South Side Senior High School from sophomore to senior year. There were only 14 blacks pictured among the more than 300 students in Howard’s class. In gym class, Howard was observed on at least one occasion showering in his underpants. His nicknames at South Side were “Gunkard” and “the Big Gunk.”


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    In real life: Before and after moving to Rockville Centre, Howard went for part of his summer vacations to Camp Wel-Met, a nonprofit camp affiliated with the Metropolitan Jewish Welfare Board (the name Wel-Met was an abbreviation of sorts). He claims that he was a loser at school, but was popular and sexy at camp. (He even earned the nickname “Shades of Blue” from the girls at camp, thanks to the sunglasses he wore to cover his beautiful – although uncontrollably-darting – eyes.) In the summer of 1974, 21-year-old Howard returned to Wel-Met as a counselor on a six-week trip to Yellowstone National Park. He now claims that he had sex with so many of his coworkers, his boss threatened to fire him. Kary D. Preseten, who was among Howard’s teenaged charges, notes that Howard had a “ritual of ‘phallicizing’.” “He’d pick out things that looked like a penis, such as a cucumber or even a jet airplane”

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    “Senior year, big year for me. I finally got up the courage to go down to the college radio station and get myself on the air.”

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    In the movie:
    A fallen stack of records interrupts a WBTU broadcast of the Howard Stern Experience.


    In real life: Howard began doing radio on WBTU during his sophomore year (not his senior year), spinning records and reading the news. For 15 to 30 minutes before each show, he prepared by meditating (a practice he still uses today). For a brief time, he adopted the radio name August Miles, which he took from a classmate’s brother. Hank Sennett, Howard’s old boss at WBTU, said Howard stole records from the station, but Howard admits to stealing only one. Howard and his King Schmaltz Bagel Hour radio team (comprised of three older college students) took swipes at religious, ethnic and racial groups, especially during a sketch called “Godzilla Goes to Harlem.” (In Private Parts the book, Howard writes, “We were totally outrageous, especially for 1973. We talked about girls’ asses, hebes and blacks.”) The team was fired on the air during their first show.


    “Look, I refused to leave the room until she agreed to be in my film.”

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    In the movie: After the disastrous Howard Stern Experience broadcast, Howard and his pals duck into a friend’s house to escape the rain. Howard, a senior, lays eyes on Alison, and it’s love at first sight.

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    To see her again, he charms her into starring in a pretentious, artsy movie about Jesus that he’s filming.

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    In real life: Howard met Alison during his junior year, through a girl he knew from Rockville Centre and Camp Wel-Met. He tried to impress her by making fun of her friend (along with his buddy “Doctor” Lew). A few days later he ran into her at the Student Union, and cast her in his film -- but it was about Transcendental Meditation, not Jesus. (Transcendental Meditation, a defining aspect of Howard’s daily life, is totally absent from the film -- as is his heroic battle with OCD.) Howard had her meditating on a rock in the middle of winter, running barefoot in a long, flowing dress.



    Howard goes to Westchester

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    From August to December of 1975, Howard worked as an air personality at WNTN in Newton, Mass. But the station was having financial troubles, so Howard wasn’t paid for his work. After graduating from college, unsure of his talent and uncertain about the radio business, Howard took an entry-level position with a New York advertising agency. He quit that job without giving notice, and took another job selling radio air time. He didn’t go to Westchester until December of 1976, when the station needed a fill-in host for a Christmas broadcast. It turned into a full-time job. (His pay was the infamous $96 a week.)
     
    Last edited: Jun 2, 2015
  2. Benjamen

    Benjamen Well-Known Member

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    “This is Howard’s first job interview.”

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    In the movie: Howard interviews with a funny Israeli guy. Howard tells him about his childhood dream of being in radio, and the man asks him if he's an idiot.

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    In real life: Howard didn’t interview with a funny little Israeli guy; he’d already been employed at the station when it was sold and the new owners made the Israeli the manager.


    “I was sort of living with Alison while she worked on her Master’s of social work, which was really great. I was also living with my parents … which wasn’t great.”


    In the movie: Howard splits his time between living with his wife Alison and with his parents in his teenage bedroom in Rockville Centre.

    In real life: While working at WCCC, Howard lived in a former monastery for $100 a month (which included meals). No radio or television was allowed, everyone had to be in by 10, and every resident took a vow a silence. (It was run by a Transcendental Meditation movement.) Alison lived in New York City at the time.



    “Gabba Gabba Hey”


    In the movie: Howard introduces a song by the Ramones in an awkward, manic, high-pitched tone, then rocks out to the music, displaying his enthusiasm for the new punk rock sound.

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    In real life: Howard’s delivery was a low whisper in those days -- possibly to disguise his naturally nasally, whiny, higher-pitched voice (which he would later use vocal coaching, special microphones, compression and studio effects to correct). WRNW disc jockeys were into the Ramones, the Sex Pistols, and other punk bands before New York City stations caught on, but Howard seemed repelled by the sound. In June of 1977, after about six months at the job, Howard was made program director (graduating to a salary of $250 a week). He soon steered the station toward softer rock. The hard sounds of the Who and the Rolling Stones were all but eliminated by Howard, who pushed Seals and Croft, Carole King and other singer-songwriters. Howard himself has said that he did not care about the music.

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    “Howard goes to Hartford and becomes the wacky morning man at WCCC.”

    In the movie: Wired from nervous energy, Howard begins his debut radio show with an amped-up greeting and an impromptu interview with Ringo Starr – doing the bad Ringo impression himself – before launching into a song by Cheap Trick (a band he certainly would have pulled from rotation during his days as program director).

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    In real life: "Howard’s affect on the air was rather gentle and thoughtful, and at odds with the culture of rock radio,” said Colin McEnroe, a columnist with the Hartford Courant. “When I heard years later about all the appalling things he was doing, I made a few inquiries to be sure it was the same Howard Stern.”

    After his four-hour shift, Howard often made calls around Hartford to alert the other media of his antics. “He was always on the phone to the local TV stations and the newspaper reporters. He was the world’s best self-promoter,” said Howard’s WCCC program director, Bill Nosal.


    “I think I was just caught in a lie.”

    In the movie: Unable to find the script for an ad during a live commercial read, Howard adlibs a story about going to Stanley Sports as a child. When he finds the script, he announces that the store’s grand opening is that weekend, exposing his adlib as a lie. Breaking wacky morning man character and getting real for once, Howard vows never to lie to his audience again.

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    Later that day, Alison tells Howard she heard his show and thinks he’s getting really good. Howard asks if her favorite part was when the Chinese guy called in for the Doobie Brothers tickets. Alison said it was the ad – “Where you were just being yourself.”



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    “I got to interview my first real semi-famous celebrity, B-movie star Brittany Fairchild.”

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    In the movie: A sexy actress invites Howard (and Fred) to be her date for her local movie premiere. Howard goes along with it, but is alarmed when Brittany begins stroking his leg in the darkened theater. She invites him (and Fred) back to her hotel, where she undresses in plain sight, then invites Howard (and Fred) into the tub with her – where she then tries to have sex with Howard.

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    But Howard is far too faithful to Alison to comply, and he flees, drying his soaked underwear outside his car as he speeds home to his unsuspecting wife.

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    In real life: This scene was invented in one of the script’s 25 drafts to show audiences how committed and trustworthy Howard is (despite obviously being able to get any woman he wants for the first time in his life). It’s been suggested that this scenario is based on Howard’s interaction with Jessica Hahn, but this grossly misinterprets that relationship for a few reasons: 1) In real life, their roles were reversed: The larger than life, rich Howard was the most popular DJ in New York when he met the naïve Jessica Hahn, who was merely a church secretary until her Jim Bakker sex scandal made headlines and thrust her into notoriety. 2) Howard was the aggressor, always looking for ways to get her to undress in front of him. And 3) Howard was no bright-eyed newlywed at the time; he was already the father of two children when he met Jessica Hahn.

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    “It’s the fifth-largest market in the United States. And they want me to start tomorrow.”

    In the movie: Howard shares the exciting news that they’re moving to Detroit on a day’s notice, so that he can start working for WWWW. Alison, who has found Howard’s still-wet underwear from the night before in their car, refuses to go with him.

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    In real life: Howard did not immediately pounce on the Detroit job opportunity that he’d applied for – possibly out of fear that he would be following in the path of Steve Dahl, who had left Detroit for Chicago two years earlier and had become an audible influence on Howard. (The job at WWWW was the same job Dahl once held.) Howard tried to use the job offer as leverage to get a raise at the Hartford station, but WCCC owner Sy Dresner – who valued loyalty and dedication from his team – was livid over the situation. He denied Howard a raise, so Howard accepted the job in Detroit (at a salary of $30,000 a year). Alison did stay behind, but only because she had to give her job a month’s notice (and not because of a pair of wet underwear from an imaginary encounter with a sex-charged actress).



    “Looks like Big Bird to me.”

    In the movie: Howard, distraught over Alison dumping him, and insulted by the way the overnight DJ just introduced him to his new audience, begins his first shift with a new resolve. “Something in me just snapped,” Howard says in voiceover. He launches into a character named Mama Looka Boo Boo Day – a black helicopter reporter who reads a poem about killing the white man. Howard’s program director looks at him in incredulous shock as Howard, realizing he’s just had a major breakthrough in his career, backs away from the microphone, defiant and proud. The dramatic sound of “All Along the Watchtower” by Jimi Hendrix kicks in. (Hendrix would definitely have been pulled from the station where Howard was program director.)

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    In real life: Howard stole the character of Mama Looka Boo Boo Day from Steve Dahl, the brash, younger DJ whose tapes Howard listened to in Hartford. (Dahl’s character, Tyrone the black helicopter reporter, who also spoke through a megaphone, debuted two years before Mama Looka Boo Boo Day.) Dahl, now in Chicago, complained on the air about a new DJ in his old market of Detroit who was stealing his material. He was, of course, referring to Howard.

    Howard insisted the station wasn’t giving him enough support in the form of bumper stickers and other displays. When a photographer covering a bra burning event that Howard staged asked Howard’s newscaster, Debbie Beller, to be in the photo, Howard was outraged. “He let me know that he was the star of the show,” she recalled.
     
    Last edited: Jun 2, 2015
  3. Benjamen

    Benjamen Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]

    I’m just so madly in love with you. I don’t need anyone else in my life, I don’t want anyone else in my life. All I want is you. I just want you to forgive me.”

    In the movie: Howard shaves his lame moustache and grows out his hair. (The more “honest” and “himself” Howard becomes on the radio, the longer and faster his hair grows.)

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    Alison surprises him at his apartment and agrees to return to him if Howard will assure her that his on-air antics are one thing, but off the air, she’s the only one for him.

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    In real life: Alison finished up at her job and joined Howard in Detroit a month after he got there, as planned. This scene was created to show the mutual understanding that Howard and Alison have about his on-air behavior, while further underscoring just how sensitive and madly in love Howard is with Alison.

    Unlike the other DJs who partied with the rockers who passed through Detroit, Howard lived with Alison in the suburbs, and only went to events that he was obligated to attend for work. “He looked like he fit in with the rock-n-roll crowd, but he didn’t,” a coworker said. He didn’t actually shave his moustache and grow out his hair until years later, when he was in New York.

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    “This is your old pal Hopalong Howie saying, ‘I quit.’”

    In the movie: After his Detroit station goes country, Howard, unhappy with the new direction, insults country music and quits live on the air – even though he has nothing to fall back on.

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    In real life: Howard badly wanted out, but the other Detroit stations showed no serious interest in him. “I thought he was trying to copy Dahl,” said Al Wilson, who was general manager of WABX. A consultant who Howard worked with before taking the Detroit job persuaded management at DC-101, a Washington station for which he did consultation work, to hire Howard. After a marathon pitch session, General Manager Geoff Lebhar finally agreed to hire Howard at $40,000 a year ($10,000 less than Howard was now making in Detroit) without even hearing Howard’s tape. Howard and Alison had a farewell party in the Detroit suburbs. It was mainly attended by the couple’s conservatively-dressed real friends, and entertainment was provided by a magician. Howard’s rock n’ roll station mates arrived as the party was breaking up, and snickered at how square the whole event was.


    “It’s so apparent to me now what I should be doing. I should be talking about my personal life. I’ve got to get intimate. And every time I feel like I shouldn’t say something, maybe I should just say it. Just blurt it out. … I’ve got to go all the way.”

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    In the movie: Howard, his hair now longer than ever, has an epiphany at a gas station during the couple’s aimless drive to the east coast.


    “And that’s when I met the other woman in my life.”

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    In the movie: Howard and Robin meet for the first time just seconds before going on the air as a team.

    In real life: Howard and Robin met over the phone after DC-101 program director Denise Oliver – a mentor of Robin’s whom she had met while attending broadcasting school about a year earlier – had the idea to pair them up. Denise and consultant Dwight Douglas liked Robin’s laugh, and that she was black (which made her a bonus in a regulated industry that routinely sought to head off government concerns about minority employment by having at least a few persons of color in on-air positions). On the Friday before their first on-air shift, the three went to dinner together. Howard, “short-haired and not-so-thin,” according to Robin, had a sore throat and couldn’t talk.

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    “You say whatever you want. You have carte blanche.”

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    In the movie: Howard, impressed with Robin’s improvisational abilities on the air, tells her to feel free to chime in whenever she feels like it (instead of just reading the news at scheduled times).

    In real life: About an angry interview she gave with the Washingtonian magazine, Robin says, “I claimed that Howard was trying to control what I said on the air by turning down the volume on my microphone – an out-and-out lie, but what was I going to say? Robin claims Howard’s black slurs and black jokes (omitted from the movie) didn’t bother her, but she later accused him of being racist.



    “Howard, I was in the military. I was captain in the Air Force. What were you?”

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    In the movie: On a Memorial Day broadcast, Howard invents a history as an Army super soldier in Vietnam – a bit that he continues to use decades later. Robin, ever his comedic foil, reveals that she held a high rank in the military, then tells him he was too young to have been in Vietnam. (Which he wasn’t; the war ended when he was 21. He would have been eligible to serve at age 18.)

    In real life: Robin’s military career was anything but noble. She somehow rose to the rank of captain despite her behavior and lack of military discipline or interest. One month after her promotion to captain, she was discharged from the military. And two weeks out of her one month as captain were spent on vacation.

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    Howard relied on a changing trio of local men called the “Think Tank” to converse with him and play along with quizzes and gags. They supplied ideas, trivia questions and roundtable voices, contributing a lot of material and madness during their hours on the air. One of them even wrote the lyrics to the song "50 Ways to Rank Your Mother," which Howard recorded and released on vinyl. But they received no pay for their services.

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    “You know, we have the most beautiful audience.”

    In the movie: Howard instructs a sexy blonde listener to mount her speaker and gyrate while he makes vibrating noises with his mouth.

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    In real life: Howard routinely has to tell callers to turn their radio down because it lags behind real time, due to delay. But there is no lag time in this suspicious scenario.

    Theresa Lynn, once a frequent guest on the Stern Show, plays the masturbating caller. In an appearance on the show to promote The Sopranos, Vincent Pastore, Big Pussy on the show, said that Theresa Lynn claimed Howard banged her when they filmed Private Parts. Howard pretended not to know who she was as Jackie and Robin laughed. This claim is especially incriminating due to Howard’s list of needs for his set trailer, which included condoms. When Alison found the list on Howard’s desk and confronted him about it (the two didn’t use condoms together), Howard claimed that Ralph put condoms on the otherwise serious list “as a joke.”

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    Last edited: Jun 1, 2015
  4. Benjamen

    Benjamen Well-Known Member

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    “One disc jockey has wiped out our entire audience? Can we get him?”

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    In the movie:
    Stuffy WNBC New York executives discuss luring Washington wildman Howard Stern to their station. Howard, Robin and Fred, whom Howard had recently brought in from Hartford, were headed for the Big Apple.

    In real life: Howard’s loyal troops were uncertain about their future, as Howard’s negotiations with WNBC did not include them. “No insult intended,” executive VP of NBC radio Bob Sherman told the Post, “but I don’t know who Fred Norris is.” Similarly, Howard did not involve partner Robin in his talks with WNBC. In her book, Robin writes, "From that moment on, I guess I hated Howard. In my mind, the man I knew was dead to me. He had betrayed me every bit as my father had, but I wasn’t eleven years old anymore. Now I could do real damage. I refused to speak to him or take his calls. When he insisted on trying to find out what was wrong, I sat down at my typewriter in the newsroom and composed a letter. I called him names I knew would hurt and accused him of things I knew he hadn’t done. Every other word was ‘fuck’ or ‘motherfucker,’ and to top things off, I accused him of being a racist.’” Robin wasn’t even speaking to him by the end, and Alison – whom Robin frequently called in hysterics -- advised her to seek crisis counseling.

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    “Either I’ll tame him, or I’ll make him so crazy he’ll quit.”

    In the movie:
    A negative TV broadcast about Howard Stern’s barnyard radio leads to a firing of everyone involved with bringing Howard to WNBC. Weasely company man Kenny asks to be placed in charge of the Stern Show, and vows to break Howard’s spirit and turn him into another Don Imus.

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    In real life: Executive VP of NBC radio Bob Sherman left the company to join an advertising agency soon after signing Howard. His replacement and other executives second-guessed the decision to bring Howard to their flagship station, but found it would be too expensive to pull out of Howard’s contract. (There was no group firing for those responsible.) As a result, they constantly policed Howard’s show in attempt to prevent trouble. Program director Kevin Metheny (Kenny/”Pig Vomit” in the movie) was put in charge of hitting the “dump button” on Howard’s show whenever the content became too graphic. Metheny said, “I used it infrequently – maybe half a dozen times – and I can’t recollect what those occasions were.”



    “How about you go on the air -- 3 am this morning -- show us some characters!”

    In the movie: For a trial run radio shift, Howard (now a full-fledged punk rocker) and Fred amuse Robin with their new gay characters by pretending to gargle semen.

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    In real life: Howard eventually did bring Fred (“the world’s biggest homophobe” Howard writes in Miss America) with him to New York, but it would be months before he would reunite with Robin. He agreed to work with her again only if she vowed not to repeat her behavior in Washington.

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    “Robin, get the fuck out!”

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    In the movie: After defying Kenny’s orders that all bits and scripts require his approval, Howard and the gang do an R-rated version of the Match Game. Confronted by Kenny, Howard says he gave the script to Fred, who says he gave the script to Robin, who says she made a mistake and forget to put it in Kenny’s box. To show just how serious and heartless he is, the villainous Kenny then ruthlessly fires Robin on the spot.

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    Robin wants him to quit out of solidarity, but Howard can’t. “If I quit, they win -- don’t you see? I want to beat these guys. I want to stomp them into the ground. And the only way to do that is to stay on the air, Robin.”

    In real life: Robin was never fired from NBC. This scene was created to make management seem soulless and cruel, to further illustrate their intentions of “breaking them apart” and “beating them,” and to underscore Howard’s unwavering devotion to Robin.

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    “I feel sorry for NBC. Because as soon as you start in on them, they’re going to be sorry they ever fired her in the first place.”


    In the movie: Howard tells Alison that Robin thinks he’s scum for what happened, but Alison believes in Howard’s character. She knows that he’ll do whatever it takes to bring management to its knees and bring back Robin. Howard the long-haired grunge rocker is teamed up with a stuffy old white guy named Ross Buckingham, who is soon repulsed by Howard’s antics.


    “You have violated my wife! You soiled the sanctity of my home, Stern! … You are the motherfucking anti-Christ!”

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    In the movie:
    Howard phones Pig Vomit’s wife on the air and requests she give him more sex, because he’s so bitchy around the office. Kenny is furious and confronts him in the office of another executive. Howard says he never would’ve done that if Robin was on the air, because “she’s the voice of reason.” He shoots the distressed Kenny a cool look that says, “checkmate.”

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    In real life: Howard actually phoned the wife of 33-year-old Randy Bongarten, the new vice president of radio. The discussion was about “why Jewish women use their mouths only to eat Chinese food.” (Like all other Jewish-related humor that Howard became known for, this line was revised for the film. In fact, Howard and Alison’s own Jewishness is only briefly acknowledged via the yarmulkes worn at their wedding.) Bongarten felt the discussion was becoming too graphic and ordered Howard to back off. Howard then turned the segment into a whine about whether Bongarten was right to censor him.

    But Bongarten was a great leader and a sympathetic boss who had loosened the restraints and elevated Howard through advertising to an equal level with Don Imus. In the summer of 1984, a year after Bongarten’s arrival at WNBC, he was named president of NBC radio. In 1985, he shredded the contract that Howard signed in 1982, and gave him a big raise and better contract as a sign of his appreciation. But he now had less time to spend worrying about Howard. Howard went out of his way to mock Bongarten’s successor, John Hayes.
     
    Last edited: Jun 2, 2015
  5. Benjamen

    Benjamen Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]

    “If you hire Robin back, I promise you you won’t be sorry.”

    In the movie: Fictional character Ross Buckingham refuses to work with Howard after he’s subjected to the Kielbasa Queen deep-throating a sausage --

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    -- leaving Howard to (poorly and irreverently) read the news himself.

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    Management, beaten at their own game by Howard, allows him to hire Robin back. Howard drops to his knees and begs Robin to return, worshipping her foot, using all the charm he can muster.

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    In real life: While the Robin firing plotline is totally fictitious, she was sent to vocal coaching for six weeks due to her problem with the letter S and inflection on certain key words. In that time she was replaced with a stronger news person (a white woman named Judy De Angelis). Howard got along great with the new woman, and loved some of the impressions she did, which drove the already unhinged Robin insane with jealous rage. For a time, with her news responsibilities taken away, Robin's role was really just to laugh at Howard.

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    “He’s hitting me, Robin! I’m going to hit you back!”

    In the movie: Upset over Pig Vomit’s decision to pull the plug during a live broadcast of Howard massaging a nude woman in his studio --

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    -- Howard confronts Kenny on the air. They get into a madcap shoving match, resulting in Howard accidentally punching Pig Vomit in the nose with the phone, and Pig Vomit accidentally smashing another executive in the back with a trophy.

    In real life: Howard writes that he doesn’t remember what led him to confront John Hayes (not Pig Vomit, who no longer worked at the company) on the air. He began by phoning Hayes’s secretary and calling her boss an idiot. He then banged on Hayes’s office door, shouting “You idiot scum!” and “You work for me!” Howard rushed into his office and looked at the papers on his desk, which detailed everyone’s salaries. Howard started yelling that he could see Imus and Soupy’s ridiculously inflated salaries. Hayes rightfully freaked out and pushed him out of his office. Howard did not push back in real life. He retreated to his studio and whined on the air.



    “I hate it at NBC, Dave.”


    In the movie: Howard goes on Letterman’s show looking like a 1980s rocker.

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    In real life: He looked like this:
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    “He’s number one in the market.”

    In the movie: Executives, embarrassed by Howard ridiculing them on Letterman, come to the sobering realization that he’s the hottest DJ in New York. They’ve had their snobby asses handed to them by the brash young Stern. The weasely Pig Vomit shows up at Howard’s apartment and says, “You’ve won.” He offers to switch sides, pledging his loyalty from then on to Howard Stern. Incredulous at the spineless suit’s lack of integrity, Howard says, “Fuck you,” and slams the door in Kenny’s face.

    [​IMG]

    In real life: Kevin Metheny accepted a job as Director of MTV Programming in 1984 – a year before Howard went to number one in New York radio. Metheny led a secret management team that developed the network VH1.

    “People of New York, people of Earth … We are gathered here today in praise of me.”

    In the movie: It’s July 27,1985. And Howard, with long, flowing hair that reveals just how honest and “himself” he’s become on the radio, celebrates his number one rating with a massive party in Grant Park. AC/DC is there to honor him with a live performance of “You Shook Me All Night Long” (another song Howard would have pulled from rotation as program director).

    [​IMG]

    In real life: There was no Grant Park extravaganza honoring Howard for his achievement. What the movie – and Howard himself—doesn’t recognize is that the ratings of WNBC, let alone Howard’s new number one position, made little difference within the larger broadcasting empire of NBC. The network’s fortunes were mainly tied to the performance of its prime-time television shows. The radio division was an afterthought.

    On September 27, 1985 – two months after this fictional scene takes place – Howard was fired from WNBC. A day later he went on television to essentially beg for his job back. He looked like this:

    [​IMG]


    “How! My water broke!”

    In the movie: Howard and Alison rush to the hospital, where they give birth to their first daughter, Emily.

    In real life: Emily was born two years earlier, in May of 1983. Second daughter Debra wasn’t born until May of 1986, so Alison wasn’t even pregnant on this date.

    [​IMG]

    “Wait, wait, wait! Is that it? The movie’s over? That’s bullshit!”

    In the movie: After Howard once again professes his love for Alison, and their romantic kiss is freeze-framed, the end credits role. A flustered Stuttering John cuts in, upset that he didn’t appear in the film. He complains that Howard told him he could be in the sequel. “Suppose the movie sucks!” John shouts. “There won’t even be any sequel!”

    [​IMG]

    In real life: There was no sequel. Private Parts made about $41 million dollars in the US -- a far cry from the $180-million-plus that Howard predicted. (And if a $41 million gross on a movie with a budget of $26 million sounds good to you, then consider this: His 1993-94 New Year's Eve pay-per-view special alone grossed upwards of $40 million -- and there's no way that budget was over a million.) Four months after Private Parts was released in theaters, Rysher Entertainment, the company that entirely financed the $26-million comedy, got out of the film business. It resulted in the elimination of about 40 full-time positions. “I don’t think the business of just co-financing films is a business for us to be in,” said Rysher CEO Tim Helfet. Howard never mentions the dearly departed Rysher when discussing Private Parts.

    [​IMG]

    Dedicated to the memory of Rysher Entertainment. Rest in peace.


    * * *

    This is an installment in my 2015 Fact-Finding Mission series.


    [​IMG]

    Private Parts the Book: 20+ Years Later
    Unauthorized Howard Stern Biography
    Howard Stern's Sirius Promises: 10 Years Later
    Miss America the Book: 20 Years Later
    Book: Howard Stern A to Z
    Quivers: A Life -- 20 Years Later
    Did Private Parts the Movie Kill Rysher Entertainment's Feature Film Division?
    A Memorial Day Tribute to Captain Robin Quivers
    The Origins of "Gunk"
     
    Last edited: May 31, 2015
    Barry Soetoro, Dlist, ARM and 67 others like this.
  6. UpInSmoke123

    UpInSmoke123 Well-Known Member

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    Good stuff as always, Benjamen!
     
  7. Benjamen

    Benjamen Well-Known Member

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    Thanks. Looking back at the thread on my phone, I just realized there's a whole segment missing. (From "Howard's DC station goes country" to "Howard takes the job in New York.") I'll have to add it when I get home tonight.

    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: May 31, 2015
  8. rabbigottfried

    rabbigottfried Well-Known Member

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    Thanks! On my phone. Should be enjoyed on the big screen.
     
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  9. Tony Dogs

    Tony Dogs Well-Known Member

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    Bravo.
     
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  10. reno

    reno VIP Extreme Gold

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    I remember him saying the film had "legs." It was out of the theaters pretty fast. Some legs.
     
  11. Honkey Donkey

    Honkey Donkey Well-Known Member

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    Great stuff once again. The Wigs true music tastes are showing these days with his love for James Taylor and Billy Joel . He was never into Nine Inch Nails or Metalica. He only saw what Ralph was into and ran with it . The phony fuck never got into the Ramones until it was the thing to do and infants were wearing Ramones shirts . He doesn't know shit about music for a radio guy .
     
  12. Guacamole

    Guacamole Well-Known Member

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    What a great read. Thank you so much for putting this together!
     
  13. DJ Retardo

    DJ Retardo Well-Known Member

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    "C'mon Robin, I can't remember exactly what happened back then, I-I-i was crazy, out of my mind, right? Fred do we need to break now?"
     
  14. vaporizer

    vaporizer Well-Known Member

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    Nice work. I have always been so annoyed by the "plot" of the movie and how it didn't even sync up with the book of the same name/author. Even with the book, I'm sure there's a lot of truth behind the fucking weeds of story spinning and outright lying.

    He's made an entire career out of lying and I think a lot of us were just too pulled in by his 90's persona to see it any other way. We wanted to believe that he wasn't bull shitting when Howard is the WWF of radio.
     
  15. Limo Wreck

    Limo Wreck Aboard the great mothership Staff Member

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    Mlaw is gonna blow a gasket
     
  16. Honkey Donkey

    Honkey Donkey Well-Known Member

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    I hate that I-I-I-I thing he does . It's so fake and he sounds like a jackass doing it .
     
  17. FCCstandards

    FCCstandards Non-Essential Salooner VIP

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    I am actually watching it right now. He just promised to never lie to his audience while in Hartford. :rolleyes:
     
  18. Honkey Donkey

    Honkey Donkey Well-Known Member

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    We all fell for it . There was a time I never missed a show and would go out of my way to record it so I didn't miss a thing . I got two boxes of old tapes from when the show was good in my closet still to this day . I figured I would want to listen to them far into the future . At this point knowing what I know I don't think the old shows will be so funny . I stopped saving shows after Billy and Jackie were gone .
     
  19. Alisonsbankacct

    Alisonsbankacct Out to lunch.

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    And even though he's very thin in the movie, the chin looks about 3 inches smaller than it does now, amirite?
     
  20. DJ Retardo

    DJ Retardo Well-Known Member

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    His fake anger is another one thats gets me, "Get the fuck off my phone" and his Rachel Hunter cunt rant come to mind....