Theory about Emily Stern and why she's so fucking insane

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by NotMyBro, May 9, 2014.

  1. NotMyBro

    NotMyBro VIP Extreme Gold

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    Ever since that Zoo Za Zoo album, I've wondered what happened to that woman that drove her so insane. You could tell she was always crazy and insane: her menstruation/bleeding lodge ceremonies (probably one of the most fucked up things she did), her insane poetry, her super-religious behavior etc. Numerous videos of her dancing or singing and just looking like she's on drugs or out of it. But with this new video you can truly see how insane she really is.

    So what's the cause of it?

    Here's my best guess. I think it all started during her teenage years when she realized that she's a lesbian. She must have told her parents about it and they both freaked out. Howard, clearly, had a lot of issues with his own sexuality and he's been fighting homosexuality his whole life as well.

    I think Howard took Emily to Dr Sarno who tried to "cure" her from it. In both of his books, Stern claims that you can cure homosexuality. In an audio clip, available on YT, you can also hear him say that "he knows" that Dr Sarno's technique can cure homosexuality. How does he know? He used it to "cure" himself and Emily was probably subjected to it. I also believe he took her to some shrink for therapy as well.

    I believe all this heavily traumatized young Emily and she was fucked for life. This is why she's never seen with Howard and why only young Ashley is friends with him and Beth. Howard also had a dinner with Debra and talked about her but he never mentions Emily. Emily clearly despises them both and doesn't want anything to do with them. It also explains why she rebelled when she was barely 18 and decided to star in some off-Broadway play in which she was naked. That was a giant fuck-you to her dad.

    Anyway, what does DS think? Are we any closer to explaining the mystery that is Emily Stern?

    :bigthink:
     
  2. blarbloo

    blarbloo Member

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    Aww, what a nice imagination you have!
     
  3. DrivenByDemons

    DrivenByDemons Spinoff Jesus Staff Member

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    You people should look into something called "going outside".
     
  4. Imus O Sternsky

    Imus O Sternsky VIP Extreme Gold

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    Hi, NoyMyBro this is Dr Sarno calling I need your advice about something. Please call back when you have some free time Thanks
     
  5. PelicanWig

    PelicanWig Beautiful Soup

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    Awww what a shit sucking troll cunt you are.
     
  6. greyt

    greyt Well-Known Member

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    if she hates Howard so much then she should stop spending his money
     
  7. Uncle Larry

    Uncle Larry Well-Known Member VIP

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    Emily is a wacky chick but I think the biggest thing is that she has no kids and probably has a nice trust fund so she doesn't have to work - plenty of time to ponder the mysteries of the universe and share her thoughts with the world through her poetry, music, etc.
     
  8. Captain

    Captain Alto, Blanco y Guapo Gold

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    that ^ nothing aids and abets crazy drug fueled self indulgent behavior like unearned wealth. Biggest lazy nut I ever met was a trust fund baby. Guarantee you if daddy's shekels went bye bye she'd be sane in a week
     
  9. John Sterling

    John Sterling Well-Known Member Banned User

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    I think the chemicals in carpets contributed to her insanity.

    [​IMG]
     
  10. Douchebag 007

    Douchebag 007 New Member

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  11. Jayla

    Jayla Ou ai-je l'esprit? Gold

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    Sounds about right, but here's a much simpler and terse explanation: Howard Stern is her father.
     
  12. peterfonda

    peterfonda Well-Known Member

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    You may be completely right or you may be completely wrong. We will never know.
     
  13. Jayla

    Jayla Ou ai-je l'esprit? Gold

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    This too. In fairness, I think very few trust fund babies escape these pitfalls. People like to think they'd be saving the world if money weren't an issue, but lets face it, most of us would be obnoxious too. And like you said, it's not really wealth itself, but UNearned wealth and having led a privileged life from day 1 of your existence. Better question: What's Beef's excuse????? If you ask me, Beef is WWAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY more annoying and obnoxious than Emily.
     
  14. HORSETOOTHED

    HORSETOOTHED Well-Known Member

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    [video=youtube;8PUtapZVI0I]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8PUtapZVI0I[/video]
     
  15. Droog

    Droog Well-Known Member VIP

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    Will Winst ever address this?
     
  16. harlock

    harlock ancora imparo Gold

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    that's just crazy talk :eek:
     
  17. Pooh bear

    Pooh bear Well-Known Member VIP

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    I wish Kathy Lee would! Ya know cuz her kids turned out so horrible and all...
     
  18. EmperorsNewCaps

    EmperorsNewCaps Member

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    Darwin takes a hot, steamy brick-shit on your atavistic notions of worthwhile activity, gramps. This ain't the 70s anymore, nobody's playing stick-ball or four-square out there.
     
  19. Dlist

    Dlist Well-Known Member VIP

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    She isn't insane. Emily is just an entitled kid with too much money and too much time on her hands.
     
  20. Winst

    Winst Well-Known Member VIP

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    Sum..will get this.........................................................but most will..knot.



    [video=youtube;oYU9XwSQ_zo]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oYU9XwSQ_zo[/video] ... :bigthink .... :bigthink ... :bigthink ... :bigthink