Things idiot twins dont know but "we are smart"

Discussion in 'The Artie Lange Show' started by hqb45568, Sep 12, 2012.

  1. hqb45568

    hqb45568 New Member

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    Things idiot twins dont know but they say "we are smart"

    Let's collects things they dont know but always say... "artie... we are smart"

    Seriously, you can't make this stuff up !!!

    1.
    General Patton

    2. Microwave functions

    3.
    Turning signals in a car

    4. taking orders for restaurants

    5.
    can't find another part time job in NYC

    6. when asked what you're most passinate about & talk if you went on a date - "health and nutrition"

    7.
    "well, I can write a best seller someday"

    8. when asked to review an editorial from a newspaper: "we couldn't find the columnist so..."

    9.
    what to do with a left over chinese food - can you leave it overnight? Just amazing
    10.
    they thought the ice would melt walking it 5 blocks from a store... & couldn't find it anywhere but Whole Foods (thanks Captain Kirk)

    11.
    twins wanted their LAWYERS to check the W2 form... can't make this stuff up

    12. keeping the turkey warm in oven by wrapping it in seran wrap (Thanks Gogol Boobdello)


    13. didn't think you can save leftover rice in the fridge & it's okay to reheat it with microwave (thanks Ipokesmot)

    add anything, I am missing and I'll update the list.

    14. same version of #12, again with food catering from show sponsors. What was that George Bush saying, "if you full me once..."

    15. CANT FIND A SINGLE WIG IN NYC? WTF is going on?


    =================
    Other funnies by twins:

    1. Twins complaining to the bosses about being made fun of, then asked by artie, "If I can't make fun of you, what are you good for, you're good as a monkey..."

    To which astute Twins replied with "we have a smarter brain than a monkey"


    2. Nick offered Twins advice about being low key in the subway by not very an expensive watch at late hours, to which Twins replied, "yeah, we should do that..." how dumb do you have to be, to have no common sense or some street smarts? And they are from chicago...

    3.
    Artie: "What can you two do that a chimp cant do?"
    Twins: "Breathe and act like a human"
     
    Last edited: Sep 28, 2012
  2. jyanks

    jyanks Well-Known Member

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    I could have sworn they said in an early show they didn't know who Lee Harvey Oswald was.
     
  3. ilovebacon

    ilovebacon Well-Known Member VIP

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    They don't even know how big a dump they take! :c
     
  4. Salmo

    Salmo Active Member

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    please add:

    how to be entertaining
    how to be even remotely enticing
     
  5. hqb45568

    hqb45568 New Member

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    9. what to do with a left over chinese food - can you leave it overnight? Just amazing
     
  6. Mike

    Mike 'Merica Gold

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    Beat me to it
     
  7. sternski

    sternski New Member Banned User

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    two dumb cunts brainwashed by crazy mom that they are the best and the smartest and superstars.

    [​IMG]
     
  8. mpa

    mpa Active Member

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    please add:
    how to exude any sexuality
    how to suspend being cunts for even a second
     
  9. Ipokesmot

    Ipokesmot Well-Known Member Banned User

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    Well maybe DirectTV can just put on "The Liz and Marie" show and watch every sponsor pull out. :jj:

    I say fire The Twins, also Dan and Shane for that matter. Go back to the midwest with the rest of the retards.
     
    Last edited: Sep 13, 2012
  10. CAPTAIN KIRK

    CAPTAIN KIRK New Member

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    Don't forget they said they couldn't find ice anywhere in NYC..
     
  11. Ipokesmot

    Ipokesmot Well-Known Member Banned User

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    Or a McDonald's that has quarter pounders. :jj:
     
  12. hqb45568

    hqb45568 New Member

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    right... they thought the ice would melt walking it 5 blocks from a store...

    idiots
     
  13. hqb45568

    hqb45568 New Member

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    just realized that they have weird fascination to whole foods; somehow it's the best grocery store in NYC
     
  14. BethsZygote

    BethsZygote In Utero VIP

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    i thought it was Mark David Chapman, but you might be right (MDC is somewhat understandable)
     
  15. mpa

    mpa Active Member

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    I'm sure they don't know either
     
  16. jyanks

    jyanks Well-Known Member

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    This!:snicker:
     
  17. Gogol Boobdello

    Gogol Boobdello Well-Known Member

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    Wrapping turkey with Saran wrap and putting in back in oven to keep it warm
     
    Last edited: Sep 13, 2012
  18. Ipokesmot

    Ipokesmot Well-Known Member Banned User

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    Last night they didn't know that you could reheat rice in a microwave. :jj: "It gets hard and gross!" (Probably what they said on prom night)
     
  19. jyanks

    jyanks Well-Known Member

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    Artie said that teaching Liz how to play ping pong was as if she was a "slow person."
    Even Sad Dan agreed that it was frustrating & she may be slow.
     
  20. hqb45568

    hqb45568 New Member

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    yeah, there was a thing about pasta. They were talking about different shapes of pasta so a twin comes and say "i love valveeta" (personal note: valveeta sucks)