Thinking of a way to get excused from jury duty

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by SchwoogieBuzzer, Apr 1, 2015.

  1. SchwoogieBuzzer

    SchwoogieBuzzer Well-Known Member

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    I have jury duty in a couple weeks. We all know about the typical reasons: saying that you're a racist, family in law enforcement, lawyer, hate cops, etc. Can being a member of Dawg Shed be influential in getting me excused?
     
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  2. LawyerLarry

    LawyerLarry Mr. Fuckmoney in the Bank VIP

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    Just don't say that you want out to participate in the Madden Challenge. The judge will keep you in out of spite.
     
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  3. LawyerLarry

    LawyerLarry Mr. Fuckmoney in the Bank VIP

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    When the judge dismissed the jury due to a mistrial in my case on Monday, one of the jurors asked if they would still be paid the $50 for Tuesday.
     
  4. Lester

    Lester Well-Known Member

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    Go in dressed like Grimace from McDonald's. You will be dismissed.
     
  5. Limo Wreck

    Limo Wreck Aboard the great mothership Staff Member

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    I feel for you man, Especially if you don't get full compensation from your job
     
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  6. GaryPuppet

    GaryPuppet Well-Known Member

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    Have a doctor sign you out. Works every time.
     
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  7. LawyerLarry

    LawyerLarry Mr. Fuckmoney in the Bank VIP

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    I just thought of this one - act like a retard.
     
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  8. LaserT

    LaserT You have to have fun. Gold

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    Make a mess in your pants.
     
  9. ClumpyStern

    ClumpyStern HSS-clean since Dec 2011 VIP

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    Just explain your screen name to them.
     
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  10. John Coktoaston

    John Coktoaston Well-Known Member

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    I've served on a jury (armed robbery trial) it was pretty interesting, and it was a good experience. Missed 5 days of work, but my employer at the time gave us up to 10 paid jury duty days, so it wasn't an issue

    Two years ago, I was called in for jury duty at a U.S. District court. We (pool of potential jurors) were explained that the trial that was to take place was anticipated to last at least two months, and could go longer. My employer would have let me out of work for this, but they weren't going to pay me for being absent for that length of time. When called up, I told them that being away from work for that long would be tough for me to pull off financially, and they let me off the hook :up:
     
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  11. killallposers

    killallposers VIP Extreme Gold

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    Just have your psychiatrist write a letter telling them you are nuts. Worked for me.
     
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  12. OV

    OV Rapscallion

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    I always skate: my son was arrested on some serious bogus trumped up charges that ended up being dismissed 3 days prior to trial....and the local LE cost me a shitload of bail and legal fees so, no, I do not trust the word of law enforcement on criminal cases (and yes I bring the county and case number info with me) It's a way out, but also the truth.

    And on civil cases, I state that being self employed, unlike many others for whom this is a vacation, no one pays me and if empaneled I will always be the one encouraging the fastest, most expedient verdict to get the fuck out of there as fast as possible.
     
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  13. Jayla

    Jayla Ou ai-je l'esprit? Gold

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    I told them twice I was the primary caretaker of 2 children and that did it. :dontknow:
     
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  14. Mlaw

    Mlaw Quite Contrarian Gold

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    Defer your service if you can to a Friday in August, you won't be called
     
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  15. HypocriteHowie

    HypocriteHowie Well-Known Member

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    Not if it's a larceny case with the Hamburglar.

    [​IMG]
     
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  16. njguy8

    njguy8 Well-Known Member VIP

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    I always try to get out of them without ever going in.

    What you could try, tell them you're the only bread winner in your household, that you're running your own business and can not afford the time off for jury duty. If you did, you put your residence at stake for time away from your clients - which also puts you in jeopardy of losing them all together.

    That would obviously destroy your business, and your ability to pay your bills.
     
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  17. jason long

    jason long Active Member

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    There's no excuse for getting selected during jury duty. Only idiots and people who want the experience get selected. Just wear a political shirt (far left or far right) or an anonymous (guy fawkes) shirt, you don't even have to talk and you're already out of it.
     
  18. reno

    reno VIP Extreme Gold

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    God forbid you're falsley accused of a crime. Would you want to be tried by twelve people too dumb to get out of jury duty?
     
  19. Dismember

    Dismember Well-Known Member

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    "Some people try to get out of jury duty by lying. You don't have to lie. Tell the judge the truth. Tell him you'd make a terrific juror because you can spot guilty people

    [snaps fingers]

    Just like that!"
     
  20. R.P. McMurphy

    R.P. McMurphy Well-Known Member

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    ...i always claimed financial hardship and i never got any follow up notices.