This ever happen to you?

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by Beth143nacho, Oct 27, 2015.

  1. Beth143nacho

    Beth143nacho Bede bede beep Gold

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    I'm running about a week on bad luck.

    Last Wednesday, I was patiently waiting in line at my salad bar, already had pulled a soup cup, excited to get some Italian wedding, and the guy in front of me coughs this huge snot into the open soup carafe. I was apparently the only one that saw this, because everyone else kept taking the soup.

    Friday, I was shitting at work when someone frantically ran into the stall next to me, astruggled to pull down their pants and promptly dropped a stream of liquid shit onto the floor, splattering everywhere. How I got out of that without a drop on me, I'll never know.

    Yesterday, I lost money in fantasy football for the first time ever. I only run a lie of about $100 and recovered 94, but a $6 loss is still a loss.... This after trying my buddy's strategy out for the first time. Side note: he tried my strategy and won.

    Today, I get to work, and almost fall into a toilet that's got its seat up. I then realize I had meandered into the ladies room by mistake and am now wondering which of my associates are transgendered...
     
  2. face palm

    face palm Well-Known Member

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    i stopped reading at salad bar
     
  3. reno

    reno VIP Extreme Gold

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    I hate salad bars.
     
  4. cetiya

    cetiya Lunatic Gold

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    Geesh. What a shitty life you live!
     
  5. Bye You!

    Bye You! The n word guy Gold

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    Beth143Nacho takes shits at work...take shits at work...takes shits at work.
     
  6. HS Cult Leader

    HS Cult Leader Elite Member Gold

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  7. StRyDeRxX

    StRyDeRxX Bling Bling Gold

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    Buy some life insurance ASAP! :grad:
     
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  8. Wiggy

    Wiggy Well-Known Member

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    Goddamn, you need some Jesus in your life. Or something.
     
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  9. ljc

    ljc fish sucks on the stick Gold

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    at Larry inc. we control our own luck @LawyerLarry has his hands on everything and if he is not there @ClintDagger is over seeing the operation i have not had a bad day or even a second since i joined. @MrPPV and @tradioguy69 help run the program it all starts with looking inside your self and if you see any failure when you look in the mirror your not Larry inc. worthy. @EDDIEVRULZ as been hanging with us an he cant stop winning now.
     
  10. lilbuddy67

    lilbuddy67 A man with breath-taking anger management issues Banned User

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    If you are sitting on a toilet seat ANYWHERE,ANYTIME without looking at it, you have no sympathy.
     
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  11. AllAboutHim Ed

    AllAboutHim Ed #mypurpose VIP

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    There is 0.0 chance you didn't get shit on your shoes and pants.

    Studies have shown that shit, even when properly dispensed in a toilet, still manages to get on tooth brushes stored in the bathroom.

    Getting shit on and the rest of your bad luck is your bad karma paying you back for not alerting others to the loogie in the soup. That's fucked up that you didn't tell everyone and have it pulled from service. You deserve what you've gotten and more.
     
    Last edited: Oct 27, 2015
  12. AllAboutHim Ed

    AllAboutHim Ed #mypurpose VIP

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    What a bunch of homos.
     
  13. Skipnoid

    Skipnoid Lick Me!

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    The first two are nasty. Especially the soup. People suck.
     
  14. Skipnoid

    Skipnoid Lick Me!

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    But how can you look at it f your sitting on it? I guess you can see that small section between your thighs though, right? :dontknow:
     
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  15. Skipnoid

    Skipnoid Lick Me!

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    That's true ... then again, I store my tooth brush up my ass.
     
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  16. Skipnoid

    Skipnoid Lick Me!

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    :lol1:
     
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  17. JonGnagyBeard

    JonGnagyBeard Well-Known Member

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    No, never happened to me. At least in that order.
     
  18. ClintDagger

    ClintDagger World's #2 Ranked Poster - Exec VP Larry, Inc VIP

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    Happened to me on the golf course before, it all evens out.
     
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  19. Kool

    Kool Well-Known Member Banned User

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    I never had Italian wedding soup
     
  20. ClintDagger

    ClintDagger World's #2 Ranked Poster - Exec VP Larry, Inc VIP

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    Dark horse POTY candidate right thurr.
     
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