I got to the lobby, and realized I forgot my security badge. I've been working there for years and know Jim the security guard pretty well so I didn't think it would be a problem. Then he's all "sorry, no badge no entry, those are the rules". I thought he was just kidding so I said "whatever tubby" and went to walk past him. Fucking guy pulls his tazer on me! I'm like "are you seriously gonna fucking taze me?" and he's all "you're gonna taze yourself with that bad attitude"!. So I say "listen Jim, I know your life is shit, and you have to eat cold spiral pasta with no sauce and cut up hot dogs in it everyday for lunch because your wife has two t-rex arms, but don't taze be bro!". He tazed the fucked out of me, I shit my pants right there. Had to go home and have a shower and change my clothes and everything. Dick move right?