This was my evening

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by dawg, May 9, 2014.

  1. dawg

    dawg In The Dog House Staff Member

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    She annoys me sometimes. Not all of the time. Just on occasion. Right now, for instance.

    We’re already late, and she just decided she needs to change her dress. She doesn’t say it, but I know this obviously entails picking out new shoes, new earrings, a new bracelet, and most likely the removal and reapplication of eyeshadow in an appropriate color. I quietly add 5 minutes onto our departure time for each item I check off in my head. If I want to be honest with myself I’d add 10 for the dress itself, but I’ll try to be optimistic.

    It’s kind of funny watching her wash off her makeup as she prepares for a new coat. It’s like seeing my generally beautiful girlfriend get 5% uglier right before my eyes. I know that’s not a nice thing to say, nor a fair one, and I’ll keep it to myself, but I mean… I am thinking it. She’s still gorgeous but she’s lost her polish. Sometimes I wish she’d just stop wearing the stuff in general. She’s a natural beauty anyway… may as well let it shine.

    I was wrong. 15 minutes and 37 seconds to pick out a new dress from the moment she turned on the closet light to the moment she looked in the mirror and said, “This one.†I know because I’m keeping my massive and growing annoyance in check by watching the hands of the vintage RC Cola clock go round and round. I like it more than watching my wristwatch. I remember the day we picked that clock up. It was at a flea market in Wisconsin. I’m surprised she wanted it. She doesn’t even drink soda. What a sucker for vintage-looking stuff. It’s like her and her friends are engaged in an unending, unspoken contest to populate their apartments with the most salvation-army-type shit. Don’t get me wrong, those things do look cool. It’s just odd. And I do like that clock. That was definitely a good day, the day we got that clock. I wasn’t annoyed with her that day. I don’t think ever, back then. Not like now, impatient as I watch her carefully (read: slowly) put new makeup back on.

    I will say I’m shocked that I was wrong. New earrings look less than a minute. I give her my first genuine smile of the evening, and she returns it with a sheepish one that says, “I love you, I know you’re annoyed, just give me a few more minutes, and I’m sorry that I made us late.†That damn smile, it just melts me. How does she do that? Now I’m stuck at a midpoint between being really ticked off and thinking about how much I care about the little hottie that just uglified and rebeautified before my eyes. It’s really easier to like pretty people, isn’t it? Then again, when a pretty girl is making you angry and trying to act nice about it, all you can think is, “bitch, just because you’re hot doesn’t mean you’re above pissing me off.†I’m thinking myself in circles now.

    OK, thank god, we’re ready to roll. Almost an hour late now, and entirely her fault. I take a deep breath, standing on the stoop while she locks the front door. It’s not terribly refreshing. New York City smells like garbage and food scraps on a hot summer night. Finally, time to roll.

    As I take her left hand in mine to escort her down the steps to the street, she stumbles. I catch her and steady her, and even before she said it a moment later, I knew she had broken a heel. She curses as she starts back up the steps to our apartment. I shake my head imperceptibly back and forth as I glance down at my watch, then start up after her.
     
  2. Danas Boyfrien

    Danas Boyfrien Trump's African American Gold

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    Is that from Dio's book?
     
  3. dawg

    dawg In The Dog House Staff Member

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    No bro, it's 100% true.
     
  4. Danas Boyfrien

    Danas Boyfrien Trump's African American Gold

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    Naw. I know you're mexican but you don't live in a fucking apartment. Besides, there's no way you have a gf. :hhh:
     
    Last edited: May 9, 2014
  5. Phil McKrakin

    Phil McKrakin AKA Howie POTY The Bar VIP

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    New York City???!!!

    [​IMG]
     
  6. dawg

    dawg In The Dog House Staff Member

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    That's not the worst of it. We went out for drinks :facepalm:

    I stumbled to the bathroom and, using the walls for support, made my way into a stall. People had pissed all over the place. It looked like someone had tried to hover above the urine-soaked seat and shit, but they missed, so there was a huge pile on the floor. That guy probably had a hell of a time with the toilet paper considering someone had completely hosed that down, too.

    I didn’t want to touch the walls, but I had no choice. Bracing myself against the dripping sides of the stall I puked about 5 times. 4 of those times I mostly got it in the bowl. I definitely felt better but I could feel puke all over my mouth. I shut my eyes tight, held my breath, pulled a huge chunk of piss-soaked toilet paper from the dispenser, and wiped my mouth clean. Hmm, that wasnt so bad. I immediately left the bathroom and wandered into the bar.

    Once I made my way back to my seat, I wrapped my arms around my girl, both for stability and affection. I grabbed her head and turned it towards me and we shared a long french kiss. What a great kisser she is.
     
  7. Phil McKrakin

    Phil McKrakin AKA Howie POTY The Bar VIP

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  8. wetback

    wetback #1 Asshole VIP

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  9. Phil McKrakin

    Phil McKrakin AKA Howie POTY The Bar VIP

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  10. wetback

    wetback #1 Asshole VIP

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    Howie's a faggit
     
  11. Phil McKrakin

    Phil McKrakin AKA Howie POTY The Bar VIP

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    I will stab you.
     
  12. dawg

    dawg In The Dog House Staff Member

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    Indeed. This is all Gary did and most people bought into his shit :jj:
     
  13. wetback

    wetback #1 Asshole VIP

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  14. wetback

    wetback #1 Asshole VIP

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    dawg!!! :loco:
     
  15. dawg

    dawg In The Dog House Staff Member

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    Vato :loco: !

    Lets pop a top ese :beer:
     
  16. dawg

    dawg In The Dog House Staff Member

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    Just opened a Michelob. Good shit brah
     
  17. wetback

    wetback #1 Asshole VIP

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    ok, bro. Just popped a bud light :beer:
     
  18. Phil McKrakin

    Phil McKrakin AKA Howie POTY The Bar VIP

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    ...I'll just leave you two alone...
     
  19. Thelonious Davis

    Thelonious Davis Magical negro.

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    is this the hang out drinking thread?
     
  20. Gwarn1

    Gwarn1 Worlds poorest sugar daddy VIP

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    Sweet Jesus and Murphy brown that's a lot of words.

    Cliff notes please