TRANSCRIPT: Eric's Last Call to the Show (Quotes of Howard)

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by SillyOldMan, Sep 21, 2014.

  1. SillyOldMan

    SillyOldMan Well-Known Member

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    HOWARD BEING PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE WITH YUCKO

    This is Yucko trying to get a plug. Just call in and plug the show. You don’t have to go through all this. You don’t have to jump through hoops with me. We’re old friends.

    OK, watch Yucko’s show tonight. OK, bye! (hangs up on Yucko)

    =====

    ON ERIC’S PARENTS TAKING OVER CARE FROM JON…

    Ohhhhhh, that sucks!

    Doesn’t Jon do everything?

    ON JON LEAVING TO TAKE CARE OF HIS PARENTS

    That Jon is a good dude. He must resent all these people he has to take care of. How is Jon going to be able to make a living if he’s doing that for his parents?

    If Eric was born in China, they would throw him in the river, like yesterday’s news.

    ON ERIC SAYING HE HAS TO FIGURE OUT HOW HIS PARENTS CAN TAKE HIM TO LA/ACTING GIGS IN REPLACEMENT OF JON

    Your parents aren’t gonna put up with that bullshit. You’re done!

    ON ERIC EXPLAINING HIS DAD WENT WITH ERIC ONCE IN THE PAST FOR A SHOW

    He saw what bullshit it was and now he’s not into it anymore. And what about when you want to go to the bunny ranch? Or porn? Or girls? You ain’t doing that shit anymore. You’re out of that fuckin story with your dad now. Jon was that key to all of this.

    What are you gonna do? Tell your dad to go to the bunny ranch? (Eric replies “yeah right”)

    Like Jon was the dude. Jon was the key to all your fun. You better beg that guy to stay. Your parents are gonna put the clamp on you. Any shot of getting pussy is over for you, dude. It’s crazy! (Eric replies “probably”)

    ON GETTING JON TO STAY

    Did you beg Jon to stay? (Eric replies “I tried”)

    Maybe…. I mean, I don’t hope this….. but if his parents are that ill, maybe they will go soon and he can come back to you.

    ON JON COMING BACK FOR A SCHOOL REUNION NEXT YEAR

    We’re gonna have to pack a lot in when Jon comes back for the school reunion. (Robin replies “OMG, it might kill him!”)

    MORE FROM HOWARD

    It doesn’t sound like girls will be in the future for you. I guess the party has to stop sometime. If I was you, I would look for a new Jon. How about Gonzo Shitcock? (takes call from gonzo) Howard suggests Ray Rice or Wendy the slow adult.

    ON FINDING OUT WHO ERIC WAS SUPPOSED TO MEET IN LA (ERIC DIDN’T WANT TO SAY WHO IT WAS ON THE AIR AND SAID HOWARD SHOULD TALK TO HIM OFF THE AIR)

    I don’t really care that much.

    ERIC’S LAST WORDS ON AIR

    Howard: Alright Eric, I gotta go. Later!

    Eric: Bye

    HOWARD PLAYS SOME ERIC SONGS AND LEAVES THE SEGMENT WITH THIS

    I’m sure Eric’s parents are thrilled they have to take care of him too. I’m sure everybody’s depressed with this whole new arrangement. (Robin: This is bad news for everybody.)
     
  2. SillyOldMan

    SillyOldMan Well-Known Member

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    That's quite the words of encouragement during what was an incredibly stressful, tough (and likely depressing) time for Eric. (sigh)

    RIP Eric!! I will miss you on the show!!

     
  3. Lou Skunt

    Lou Skunt ____________________ Banned User

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    Howard is such a miserable old bastard. Fuck him and Blobbin too. I hope I live to see him tossed out like yesterday's news. :mad:
     
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  4. killallposers

    killallposers VIP Extreme Gold

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    Christ, now I'm wondering if the little fucker didn't kill himself.

    I choose to believe that his family hated his Stern association so much that once they took him into their custody, they faked his death. Anytime I see soda on an Amazon wishlist, I'll think that maybe it could be him. He's still out there somewhere, arguing with sarcasm on twitter.
     
  5. MiamiInk

    MiamiInk Active Member Banned User

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    RIP E
     
  6. check1

    check1 VIP Extreme Gold

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    Howard's an asshole. Eric is alive and not so well however.
     
  7. Vashier

    Vashier VIP Extreme Gold

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    :coffee: Carbon copy of the Dana Plato interview if ya ask me. Not in words, but in action and result.
     
  8. Head Censor

    Head Censor Turgid Member VIP

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    Howard's complicity in the death of Dana Plato is a no brainer. And in contributing to the demise of ETM, he may not have actually been that far behind.

    This may sound a bit harsh on the surface, but consider that every day for ETM involved a struggle that most of us probably couldn't even imagine. The simplest tasks required much time, effort and coordination, in a way that I'm sure had to wear on him. You therefor have to wonder if, in his fragile state, simply losing the will to continue that fight, even if only temporarily, might not have been enough to start a slow but increasingly precipitous decline that his already compromised constitution was simply unable to arrest.

    The news of Yawn's imminent departure must have hit Eric very hard. I wouldn't be surprised if his thoughts were already being dominated by feelings of loneliness, desperation and depression - some of which he may have never even really felt before. He then makes a call to his buddy Howard to plug what he could have legitimately feared would be his last ever show biz related endeavor - another very sobering thought in its own right. And instead of offering words of encouragement to Eric, at this major - and potentially very dark - crossroads in his life, Howard and Blobbin can do nothing more than recite a litany of ways that his "life is over".

    I guess you proved your point, Wiggy. Job well done.
     
    Last edited: Sep 22, 2014
  9. thunderfist2112

    thunderfist2112 Well-Known Member Banned User

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    Oh jeez.... Only this place could blame Erics death on Howard.
     
  10. Head Censor

    Head Censor Turgid Member VIP

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    Stranger things...

    :dontknow:


    I'm only offering a bit of reasoned speculation, not a grand jury summons.
     
    Last edited: Sep 22, 2014
  11. thunderfist2112

    thunderfist2112 Well-Known Member Banned User

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    Maybe it was Gonzo Shithead and all the other intraweb bullies out there that did him in......


    i dont think wiggy treated him different than any other day
     
  12. RenchFries

    RenchFries Official Dawgshed Dutch representative Gold

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    Come on guys, now we're going to rag on Howard because he made fun of ETM? He's been doing that for years, and it was a lot more brutal a couple of years ago.

    I'm sad about it too, but the midget was on borrowed time anyway. Not fair to blame Howard and the gang for this.
     
  13. Head Censor

    Head Censor Turgid Member VIP

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    I don't completely disagree with that.

    But for the many reasons already stated, this last day he called in wasn't like any other day - far from it, in fact. Unlike all the other calls that transpired before, this one came on the eve of one of the most momentous - and potentially devastating - events in Eric's adult life.
     
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  14. RickAndMartie

    RickAndMartie Member

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    Man evverybody is so fake! People trolled him so much on twitter that he had to quit one of the things he loved. Now he dies and people want to rag on Howard for show schtick? Yall didnt give two fucks about Eric. Fake ass rats
     
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  15. Pissed_on_Fan

    Pissed_on_Fan Well-Known Member

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    That was so well written, Head Censor. I can't even begin to imagine what life would be like in that body, day in, day out. Always sitting, always "different", always having the adjective "little" applied to you. Aww, little guy, awwww so cute that little guy in the adorable fake little limo.

    Eric responded to all the fragility and smallness by becoming so tough and crusty. He wasn't expected to live a whole lot longer, but it's true that negativity can influence health, and according to S.O.M.'s transcription, Wigward bombarded Eric with negative comments, and totally blew a chance to show compassion and kindness with a comedic slant.

    I thought "new, nice guy" Howard has evolved and wants to be known for not being a hurtful dick. Or is that just for celebrities like Kathie Lee Gifford, not powerless easy targets like Eric? Evolution ≠ Maturation. Asshole Stern strikes out again.
     
  16. thunderfist2112

    thunderfist2112 Well-Known Member Banned User

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    REST IN PEACE ERIC
     
  17. Omen

    Omen Well-Known Member

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    I would not say "fake", but definitely hypocrites
     
  18. killallposers

    killallposers VIP Extreme Gold

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    There's never been a time when I valued Howard as a person more than ETM. Howard is a POS and ETM is someone who I've always admired. Even if he was an angry little shithead with low IQ. He was handed a pile of shit and made to spend his whole life in it, but that little fucker still managed passion, a love for life, confidence and other positive things that are all, for some unknown reason, foreign to myself.
     
  19. Head Censor

    Head Censor Turgid Member VIP

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    Again, I would agree that there were many other times when Howard was much more critical of, and vicious towards, Eric. But by and large, those criticisms were always directed at some isolated element of Eric's life - "your Amazon list is so ridiculous", or "your refusal to play gay characters is so homophobic", or "your performance of TV series 'X' was so horrible", or "I can't believe you killed another series".

    Those were all criticisms that were limited in scope, often times overdone for obvious comedic effect. And I'm sure in most cases, Eric was easily able to convince himself that Howard was, once again, just trying to get a rise out of him. But that last appearance was different. Howard wasn't criticizing Eric at all. In some distorted ways you could say Howard was actually commiserating with him. I could see that having the effect of being far more unsettling to Eric. "Wow, Howard's not joking around, he really does feel like my life is over". If he were already struggling mightily with the departure of Yawn, it's not unreasonable to surmise that this doomsday exchange with Howard might have mentally sent him to a place that he couldn't find his way back from.
     
    Last edited: Sep 22, 2014
  20. killallposers

    killallposers VIP Extreme Gold

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    The new nice guy Howard comes off so much worse than the old, funny Howard. Back when Howard was making fun of Eric, I actually believed Howard cared for the guy. He was just treating him like anyone else who willingly entered his world. Now Howard can only think in terms of what's PC. He knows not to say catch words like Reggie, retard, fag or midget if he is to be accepted into prime time, middle America. But he knows nothing about being a human being as evidenced by the way he treated Eric in that last call. But hey, he didn't call him midget.

    "Reggie". That's a new development since I was last here.