Trapped on the shitter

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by queerface, Jan 16, 2015.

  1. queerface

    queerface Un-engaged Dyke

    Reputations:
    3
    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2011
    Messages:
    4,661
    Likes Received:
    13,518
    I was in Miami for business earlier this week.
    Lots of catered food and buffets. My company sent us out on a cruise ship for dinner. During the award banquet I broke out in a sweat and my stomach began clenching violently. I guess all the rich eating caught up with me and I barely shuffled my way to one of the small toilets in time. I wound up spending the next 45 minutes emptying my liquified bowels into the toilet. Every five minutes some asshole rattled the door knob trying to get in.
    It was horrifying, easily one of the top shit moments of my life.
    The worst part was having to fend off those who kept trying to get into the bathroom.
     
  2. BringBackJackie

    BringBackJackie Well-Known Member Banned User

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2012
    Messages:
    3,997
    Likes Received:
    4,489
    Why do you want to get Puppet all excited?
     
  3. Austinchota

    Austinchota VIP Extreme Gold

    Reputations:
    1,500,954
    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2012
    Messages:
    12,895
    Likes Received:
    23,842
  4. reno

    reno VIP Extreme Gold

    Reputations:
    71,116
    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2012
    Messages:
    15,716
    Likes Received:
    47,621
    That's hot.
     
  5. DrSublux

    DrSublux Who am dis VIP

    Reputations:
    46,134
    Joined:
    Sep 20, 2010
    Messages:
    31,340
    Likes Received:
    20,832
    So you are all cleaned out for teh painal later?
     
  6. Calloused Shins

    Calloused Shins VIP Extreme Gold

    Reputations:
    40,952
    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2014
    Messages:
    11,058
    Likes Received:
    18,412
    You dirty girl. Now please post a pic of your chocolate starfish
     
    Thikken Vaney likes this.
  7. rolltide

    rolltide Well-Known Member VIP

    Reputations:
    21,384
    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2012
    Messages:
    6,834
    Likes Received:
    12,202
    Similar incident happened to me.......in Gabon, and there was only 4 squares of TP in the stall.
     
  8. rolltide

    rolltide Well-Known Member VIP

    Reputations:
    21,384
    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2012
    Messages:
    6,834
    Likes Received:
    12,202
    I could have stayed in between those buttcheeks for about an hour.
     
    Thikken Vaney likes this.
  9. reno

    reno VIP Extreme Gold

    Reputations:
    71,116
    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2012
    Messages:
    15,716
    Likes Received:
    47,621
    Is your butt cheeks warm?
     
    Cunt, PTRacing, ElRexican and 2 others like this.
  10. yaddc

    yaddc Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    48,492
    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2014
    Messages:
    33,428
    Likes Received:
    31,752
    LOL I had the same thing while in S.F. airport waiting for a flight to Reno. One of the scaryest shitting moments of my life.
     
    queerface likes this.
  11. Thikken Vaney

    Thikken Vaney What's everyone looking at?

    Reputations:
    46,402
    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2014
    Messages:
    8,055
    Likes Received:
    9,053
    Spank bank deposit made!
     
  12. OV

    OV Rapscallion

    Reputations:
    9
    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2010
    Messages:
    12,795
    Likes Received:
    35,722
    I once made the mistake of having a disagreeable souvlaki gyro for lunch at one of the market stalls in Vancouver's Granville Island and an hour or two later, boarding a flight back to the SE. You don't know angst until your stomach continually combusts in an airplane bathroom with lines of passengers both in front of you to get in.. and then queued up anxiously waiting for you to finish... "Rinse & repeat" multiple times.
     
    Pooh bear and queerface like this.
  13. Dan

    Dan Do you like my car?

    Reputations:
    6,099
    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2013
    Messages:
    1,906
    Likes Received:
    5,303
    I woke up this morning feeling like there is a rock in my stomach. I'm about to go to work and have meetings scheduled all day. I just know the uncomfortable grumblings are going to start at the most opportune time. I fear I'm in for an awkward day of "excuse me, I'll be right back". Woe is me.
     
    queerface likes this.
  14. SouthernListen

    SouthernListen New phone who dis? VIP

    Reputations:
    84,712
    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2012
    Messages:
    48,955
    Likes Received:
    54,582
    Not exactly the story the guys were hoping to hear.
     
  15. SouthernListen

    SouthernListen New phone who dis? VIP

    Reputations:
    84,712
    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2012
    Messages:
    48,955
    Likes Received:
    54,582
    Gabon? I think I'd pack a lunch.
     
    rolltide likes this.
  16. SomerSky

    SomerSky Obsessed with what I hate Banned User

    Reputations:
    6
    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2013
    Messages:
    9,783
    Likes Received:
    39,975
    Yeah, I feel for you, but Is there anything worse than being the person who has to go into that shit coffin after you????
     
  17. Vashier

    Vashier VIP Extreme Gold

    Reputations:
    8
    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2010
    Messages:
    11,708
    Likes Received:
    3,995
     
    joyceface likes this.
  18. TeeDonkey

    TeeDonkey Well-Known Member VIP

    Reputations:
    21,223
    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2012
    Messages:
    3,614
    Likes Received:
    6,569
    True story,

    A few years ago, while the wife and I where on vacation down in Ocean City Maryland, we decided to go out for steamed crabs. My absolute favorite meal. I know that after i eat crabs, I usually have about a 30 minute window where i have to take a monster, violent dump. I probably had about a dozen large crabs with all kinds of seasoning, and they where fresh so the crabs where nice and juicy.
    Well after dinner, the sun was setting over the bay and the wife wanted to take pictures. I was like ok, but hurry. Well during the pictures i farted, or thought i had to fart.....omg i felt the warmth on my leg. Apparently my 30 minute window was cut to 10....I was like, honey i need to go to the bathroom RIGHT NOW! So I run back into the restaurant and headed to the bathroom.....I walk inside....1 fucking stall and it's being used!!!!!! I had to stand outside the bathroom with my back against the wall in case i had a huge shit stain on my pants, and im right in the walk way to the busy kitchen. Im just standing there smiling and waving like an asshole lol. Finally the guy comes out, and I rush inside, as i am pulling my pants down hovering over the toilet, i explode! I'm not even sitting down yet! It went all over the place, the toilet, the handle etc....well i release the demon inside me, throw my boxers into the trash and check my pants and they seem ok.

    I felt so bad, it was a fucking mess.

    We now get our crabs to go, and eat them at home.....
     
    Cunt, HowiesWhorse, PTRacing and 7 others like this.
  19. Tinman

    Tinman Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    8
    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2012
    Messages:
    7,213
    Likes Received:
    7,121
    Try a port-a-john in the middle of summer, I didn't think is was possible to sweat sooo much, shit and cry at the same time... but it is.:faint:
     
  20. John Sterling

    John Sterling Well-Known Member Banned User

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2011
    Messages:
    4,159
    Likes Received:
    6,099