I was in Miami for business earlier this week. Lots of catered food and buffets. My company sent us out on a cruise ship for dinner. During the award banquet I broke out in a sweat and my stomach began clenching violently. I guess all the rich eating caught up with me and I barely shuffled my way to one of the small toilets in time. I wound up spending the next 45 minutes emptying my liquified bowels into the toilet. Every five minutes some asshole rattled the door knob trying to get in. It was horrifying, easily one of the top shit moments of my life. The worst part was having to fend off those who kept trying to get into the bathroom.