Trapped on the shitter

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by queerface, Jan 16, 2015.

  1. queerface

    queerface Un-engaged Dyke

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    I was in Miami for business earlier this week.
    Lots of catered food and buffets. My company sent us out on a cruise ship for dinner. During the award banquet I broke out in a sweat and my stomach began clenching violently. I guess all the rich eating caught up with me and I barely shuffled my way to one of the small toilets in time. I wound up spending the next 45 minutes emptying my liquified bowels into the toilet. Every five minutes some asshole rattled the door knob trying to get in.
    It was horrifying, easily one of the top shit moments of my life.
    The worst part was having to fend off those who kept trying to get into the bathroom.
     
  2. BringBackJackie

    BringBackJackie Well-Known Member Banned User

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    Why do you want to get Puppet all excited?
     
  3. Austinchota

    Austinchota Well-Known Member

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  4. reno

    reno VIP Extreme Gold

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    That's hot.
     
  5. DrSublux

    DrSublux Who am dis VIP

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    So you are all cleaned out for teh painal later?
     
  6. Calloused Shins

    Calloused Shins Well-Known Member

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    You dirty girl. Now please post a pic of your chocolate starfish
     
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  7. rolltide

    rolltide Well-Known Member VIP

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    Similar incident happened to me.......in Gabon, and there was only 4 squares of TP in the stall.
     
  8. rolltide

    rolltide Well-Known Member VIP

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    I could have stayed in between those buttcheeks for about an hour.
     
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  9. reno

    reno VIP Extreme Gold

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    Is your butt cheeks warm?
     
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  10. yaddc

    yaddc Well-Known Member

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    LOL I had the same thing while in S.F. airport waiting for a flight to Reno. One of the scaryest shitting moments of my life.
     
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  11. Thikken Vaney

    Thikken Vaney What's everyone looking at? VIP Gold

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    Spank bank deposit made!
     
  12. OV

    OV Rapscallion

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    I once made the mistake of having a disagreeable souvlaki gyro for lunch at one of the market stalls in Vancouver's Granville Island and an hour or two later, boarding a flight back to the SE. You don't know angst until your stomach continually combusts in an airplane bathroom with lines of passengers both in front of you to get in.. and then queued up anxiously waiting for you to finish... "Rinse & repeat" multiple times.
     
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  13. Dan

    Dan Do you like my car?

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    I woke up this morning feeling like there is a rock in my stomach. I'm about to go to work and have meetings scheduled all day. I just know the uncomfortable grumblings are going to start at the most opportune time. I fear I'm in for an awkward day of "excuse me, I'll be right back". Woe is me.
     
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  14. SouthernListen

    SouthernListen I don't follow the crowd. Sorry about that. VIP

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    Not exactly the story the guys were hoping to hear.
     
  15. SouthernListen

    SouthernListen I don't follow the crowd. Sorry about that. VIP

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    Gabon? I think I'd pack a lunch.
     
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  16. SomerSky

    SomerSky Obsessed with what I hate Banned User

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    Yeah, I feel for you, but Is there anything worse than being the person who has to go into that shit coffin after you????
     
  17. Vashier

    Vashier VIP Extreme Gold

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  18. TeeDonkey

    TeeDonkey Well-Known Member VIP

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    True story,

    A few years ago, while the wife and I where on vacation down in Ocean City Maryland, we decided to go out for steamed crabs. My absolute favorite meal. I know that after i eat crabs, I usually have about a 30 minute window where i have to take a monster, violent dump. I probably had about a dozen large crabs with all kinds of seasoning, and they where fresh so the crabs where nice and juicy.
    Well after dinner, the sun was setting over the bay and the wife wanted to take pictures. I was like ok, but hurry. Well during the pictures i farted, or thought i had to fart.....omg i felt the warmth on my leg. Apparently my 30 minute window was cut to 10....I was like, honey i need to go to the bathroom RIGHT NOW! So I run back into the restaurant and headed to the bathroom.....I walk inside....1 fucking stall and it's being used!!!!!! I had to stand outside the bathroom with my back against the wall in case i had a huge shit stain on my pants, and im right in the walk way to the busy kitchen. Im just standing there smiling and waving like an asshole lol. Finally the guy comes out, and I rush inside, as i am pulling my pants down hovering over the toilet, i explode! I'm not even sitting down yet! It went all over the place, the toilet, the handle etc....well i release the demon inside me, throw my boxers into the trash and check my pants and they seem ok.

    I felt so bad, it was a fucking mess.

    We now get our crabs to go, and eat them at home.....
     
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  19. Tinman

    Tinman Well-Known Member

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    Try a port-a-john in the middle of summer, I didn't think is was possible to sweat sooo much, shit and cry at the same time... but it is.:faint:
     
  20. John Sterling

    John Sterling Well-Known Member Banned User

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