True Life: The Saga of the Shiv

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Shivvy, Sep 14, 2012.

  1. Shivvy

    Shivvy 100k Post Club

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    so its been a while sicne a shaved my pubes. i was pretty good at handling that and was looking fresh on the reg. well.. i let it get ridiculously long. like my dick was lost in that shit.

    anyways... i decided to grrom tonight. used a 3/4" guard on.

    while im sitting on the toilet to do this i started peeing. its cool. your body tells you to piss when sitting on the throne.

    so im trimming... gettting in there real good. toilet water is yellow as fuck. i peed a lot.

    what happens next???? the guard pops off and falls straight in the bowl. WTF am i to do? cant flush. guard will get stuck.

    good thing im 3 drinks deep at the time, what do i do??? stick my hand in and pull the guard out. :puke: so gross.
    i stuck my hand in my own urine
     
  2. Charon

    Charon Soulless VIP

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    Dispose of the guard and cut off your hand immediately. Now that you have typed with said cootie-tainted hand, burn your keyboard.
     
  3. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Shit Mult Hunter

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    Stopped reading after "shaved my pubes." :facepalm:
     
  4. Shivvy

    Shivvy 100k Post Club

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    no you didnt
     
  5. Napoleon V2

    Napoleon V2 New Member Banned User

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    One time I was trimming my ball hairs w/ scissors and made a small cut in the scrotum. I almost fainted.
     
  6. JJR

    JJR New Member

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    Shoulda fished it out with your filthy-ass hair brush.
     
  7. LonghornJ

    LonghornJ VIP Extreme Gold

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    I'd bet $10 his junk moved in his jorts when he read that...

    Anyway, why are you pretending that your wife wants to see your trim?
     
  8. Avery

    Avery Well-Known Member Banned User

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    I probably would've used a wire hanger to fish it out. :dontknow:
     
  9. BleedingGums

    BleedingGums Fesh Fox Faggot VIP

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    make a thread on a message board faggot!!!:pie:
     
  10. Shivvy

    Shivvy 100k Post Club

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    youre right
     
  11. jaw_belize

    jaw_belize Well-Known Member VIP

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    guard?

    are you a fag?


    no guard
     
  12. Mlaw

    Mlaw Quite Contrarian Gold

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    I nicked myself on my cooch area once, and did pass out.

    wax FTW
     
  13. newcastlefan

    newcastlefan גֵּרְשֹׁם VIP

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    fish it to the side with the toilet brush, flush and once the water is clean take it out with your hand.
     
  14. HAL

    HAL HAM

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    thats a good story
     
  15. Napoleon V2

    Napoleon V2 New Member Banned User

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    Wax on the sac is not a good idea
     
  16. newcastlefan

    newcastlefan גֵּרְשֹׁם VIP

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    aftershave on it is worse.
     
  17. SIPAWITZ

    SIPAWITZ Bialy Whore Banned User

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    just admit it, you want your dick to look bigger....thats all
     
  18. Satori Brah

    Satori Brah Well-Known Member

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    you should've bobbed for it, like an apple :c
     
  19. EasyJesus

    EasyJesus Pappy Gold

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    Wtf else are you supposed to do, cant flush that shit :dontknow:
     
  20. Splash

    Splash Huge Member VIP

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    Who the fuck sits while grooming their bush? :wtf: