Tubby O.J. Simpson is caught stealing COOKIES from prison cafeteria

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by MutteringJohn, Sep 26, 2013.

  1. MutteringJohn

    MutteringJohn Well-Known Member

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    Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? O.J. Simpson, apparently.The former gridiron great was recently caught pilfering the sweet treats from the cafeteria of his Nevada prison - something which is strictly forbidden.
    According to a source, guards noticed the 66-year-old hiding something under his prison clothes as he walked back to his cell after lunch.When they quizzed him, he revealed a stash of more than a dozen oatmeal cookies, which were then seized.
    'O.J. just stood there with a goofy grin on his face as the guard kept digging inside his shirt and throwing the cookies on the floor,' the source told The National Enquirer.
    Doctors had previously warned Simpson, who is looking noticeably tubby, to ease up on the fat and sugar laden foods and start exercising more because he suffers severe diabetes.

    And the once-chiseled prisoner, who is serving a 33-year sentence for armed robbery, has been trying to diet but gave up after a few weeks.
    'The temptation of the cookies in the prison chow line was too much for him, the source said.
    At first, his fellow prisoners thought he had smuggled in a cell phone or some other banned item.

    'So when the guard started pulling cookies out of O.J.'s shirt, the other inmates started laughing so hard they nearly fell over,' the insider added.

    The guard could have written up Simpson for the attempted cookie smuggle but he reportedly decided to let him off with a warning.

    The source said that while Simpson was embarrassed, eating his favorite foods is the only enjoyment he has left.

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  2. smichal

    smichal A1 Dick Game

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  3. Judy Garland

    Judy Garland New Member Banned User

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    Why are they telling him to lay off the sweet stuff? They should be injecting this diabetic psychopath with sugar...right into his neck.
     
  4. killallposers

    killallposers VIP Extreme Gold

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    he is one of the dumbest motherfuckers in US history. all the money, fame and respect he had and here he is at 66 getting caught stealing cookies in prison. and that life is still too good for this bastard.
     
  5. skylarbrie

    skylarbrie VIP Extreme Gold

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    for a diabetic, low sugar is more deadly than high sugar
     
  6. beetlejosh

    beetlejosh I got a head that's large Gold

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  7. x76

    x76 Well-Known Member

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    Sacred SHIT -- I missed the news that he was sentenced to THIRTY THREE FUCKING YEARS.

    When do the "too big to fail" bankers get sentenced?
     
  8. Chimney Portions

    Chimney Portions I drink cum Banned User

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  9. Captain

    Captain Alto, Blanco y Guapo Gold

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    That!
     
  10. Beth143nacho

    Beth143nacho Well-Known Member VIP

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    You mean the politicians? Lol they won't.
     
  11. Hateman

    Hateman Well-Known Member Banned User

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    Nicole Brown stole his heart
     
  12. hollywoodrose

    hollywoodrose Member VIP

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    Never, because they own the prisons and the politicians who put people there. Only way to get them is for us to wake up and take our country back. I think it's happening though - with all the destruction of the past 13 years or so (much less the past 100) people are starting to figure things out. Legalization of marijuana will bring the end of the drug war and the internets is bringing the unfiltered truth to the country and world. Once 10% of the population figures things out it's all over, truth spreads like a wildfire.
     
  13. Dump Button

    Dump Button Former Mall Security Guard

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    I c what u did there
     
  14. TheWonk

    TheWonk POTY Music Forum Gold

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    He should've hidden them up his asshole.
     
  15. itpdude

    itpdude New Member

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    You'd think the Juice had enough of an account at the commissary to buy whatever the fuck he wants.
     
  16. AuntDolly

    AuntDolly Musculature Gold

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    Fuck OJ.

    He should have done a Klaus Von Bulow (sp?) after his acquittal and stayed out of further trouble. I just can't wrap my mind around the addiction to fame-whoredom. I'd love to be rich, but rich and ANONYMOUS.

    Oh, and Fuck OJ.
     
  17. Dlist

    Dlist Well-Known Member VIP

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    And he stabbed hers.:facepalm:
     
  18. LaserT

    LaserT You have to have fun. Gold

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    [​IMG]


    GUILTY AS HELL!!!!!!!!!!

    He got off because, "IF THE COOKIE IS NOT BIT, YOU MUST ACQUIT!"
     
    Last edited: Sep 26, 2013
  19. Beth143nacho

    Beth143nacho Well-Known Member VIP

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  20. MutteringJohn

    MutteringJohn Well-Known Member

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    OJ or Cookiepuss

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