Update: Not Only Is Yoda's Heart Stronger, He's Completely Cured !!!

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by tv910, Sep 10, 2014.

  1. tv910

    tv910 Well-Known Member

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    There was a thread recently about Beth announcing that Yoda's heart had gotten stronger. Apparently that wasn't dramatic enough so now Howard is claiming that the cat is COMPLETELY CURED and it's a MEDICAL MIRACLE:

    News Stories, Yoda The Cat Update And More. 09/09/14. 9:20am

    Mariann told Howard about seeing Beth at AGT and taking a selfie with her. She asked if Yoda is getting better. Howard said that he is. Howard said that they got this 2 year old cat and named him Yoda. Howard said that his heart was failing and they said that he wasn't going to live very long. Howard said he was skinny and dirty when they got him. Howard said Beth said that she was taking in this cat so he'd die comfortably. Howard said that he was up for it but he knew she'd be a mess. Howard said Beth wanted to do it so he said okay. Howard said they have a big house so why not. Howard said this cat was so matted and it was a mess. They gave Yoda a month or two to live.
    Howard said he's getting attached to this cat. He said they have all of these kittens living with them too. He said they foster the kittens and they have no mother. They start to sleep on Yoda. He said the other cats don't care about the kittens. He said that Yoda will heard them if they leave the room. He said he's like a mother to them. Howard said his wife posts video of this on her Instagram. He said this has happened with 5 sets of foster kittens. He said that this cat has a purpose in life. He said this is where it gets crazy. He said the cat is still alive. He said this is 6 months past what they gave him.
    Howard said just a couple of days ago this vet comes over. Howard said they asked him to listen in on his heart. The vet said there was nothing wrong with the heart. Howard said they took the cat to two other vets and they said there is nothing wrong with this cat's heart. Robin asked if it's been cured. Howard said they say he's doing fine. Howard said this Yoda has become this beautiful cat. Howard said every time they tell people the story they get the chills. Howard said Beth thinks that it would make for a good children's book. Howard said that Beth wants to do that and give the money to Bianca's Furry Friends. Howard said Beth went to the people who published her book and they want to do this children's book. It's happening.
    Robin said she doesn't believe this story. Howard said that the cat has been on medication and they may take him off the mediation eventually. Robin said there's no reason to keep it on the medication. Howard said they don't understand it. He said it's a medical miracle. Howard said they couldn't revive Joan but this cat lives on. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
     
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  2. blindbella

    blindbella Well-Known Member

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    :facepalm:

    Lies, all lies.
     
  3. Nemo

    Nemo Beer Can Thick Gold

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  4. beetlejosh

    beetlejosh I got a head that's large Gold

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  5. tv910

    tv910 Well-Known Member

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    For comparison purposes, here's some old posts about what was originally said about Yoda:

    We all knew Yoda would turn out to be a "special needs" cat and sure enough, Howard made the dramatic announcement today. According to him the cat has a fatal heart condition and won't live more than a year although it could drop dead at any moment. Wiggy said Long Island Vet Specialist told him if the cat was a person it would be on the list for a heart transplant and it has to be kept from getting too excited or active. (Of course he immediately contradicted himself - after saying the cat does nothing but sit in a chair he later said it wandered around and went upstairs.) So now they're keeping the cat because it's medical condition makes it unsuitable for adoption. Some other details - Yoda was in a cage at NSAL for a couple of months, it's only one year old, and it was dumped at the shelter by "some dude".

    •Howard's New Cat, Yoda, Has Less Than A Year To Live. 04/15/14. 6:20am
    Howard said they're doing a lot of animal rescue and there are so many stories. Howard said Beth went over to North Shore and sees a cat in a cage. The cat is kind of matted and they had to cut off his fur. Howard said Beth has been posting pictures of the cat. He said he named it Yoda because he looks like Yoda. Howard said they were going to get him back into shape and get him adopted. Howard said the cat comes into the house and he sits on people's laps and purrs. He said that they say that he has a heart condition. Howard said he loves the cat already. He said it gets depressing to give them away. Howard said they told Beth that the cat won't live more than a year. Howard said he has a heart condition and it's not going to last. Howard said he's going to die and they said less stress is better.
    Howard said now the cat is their cat. He said they can't give him to anyone. Howard said if you're a good person you should take a hard luck case and take the pet in. Howard said this cat could pass away at any time. Howard said the cat is only a year old. He said he's so great. Howard said now he's coming upstairs and slept in bed with Beth last night. Howard said now it's the death watch but he feels good they are doing it.
     
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  6. beetlejosh

    beetlejosh I got a head that's large Gold

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  7. AllAboutHim Ed

    AllAboutHim Ed #mypurpose VIP

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    #loveconquersall
     
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  8. OV

    OV Rapscallion

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    This fairytale is even egregiously less credible than the one where Wonky loves Wiggy. Not only does Howie piss on his fans, he's now treating those few remaining as if they're all as intellectually gifted as Wendy from Orlando. (well now that I think about it, maybe he does have good reason to)
     
  9. tv910

    tv910 Well-Known Member

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    Now we know why Beth keeps pushing that #PURPOSE hashtag. Everything about them is staged and calculated:

    "Howard said his wife posts video of this on her Instagram. He said this has happened with 5 sets of foster kittens. He said that this cat has a PURPOSE in life."
     
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  10. Mulletude

    Mulletude I'm Big In The Hate Club, Ya Know VIP

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    Tomorrow's headline: "Blind Bella (who is blind) Can See Again!!"
     
  11. blindbella

    blindbella Well-Known Member

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    Well, then I'll have to change my AV. :(
     
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  12. Bearcat1

    Bearcat1 Well-Known Member

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    They replayed an Adam Corolla segment a day or two ago on H101 where Adam was talking about how he hates people who always mention that their pet is a "rescue" animal. He said something like "Come on, it's not like you repelled from a helicopter and saved it." Of course Howard agreed 100%. Fast forward 5 or 6 years and neither Howard nor Beth can mention one of their cats without the word "rescue" associated with it. Another case of the "tapes team" fucking with the boss.
     
  13. chuk

    chuk Well-Known Member

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    Maybe the cat uses the same doctor as Robin?
     
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  14. tv910

    tv910 Well-Known Member

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    A few observations/contradictions:

    Howard originally said the cat was one year old, now (5 months later) he's two.

    They got Yoda from NSAL and Howard says he was "skinny and dirty". Doesn't say much for NSAL - didn't they at least give him a bath?

    Five months ago Howard said they were told the cat had about a year to live. Now he's claiming they were originally told Yoda only had "a month or two" and it's a miracle because the cat is still alive "six months past what they gave him".
     
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  15. jyanks

    jyanks Well-Known Member

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    Howard & Beth's love is so powerful!
     
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  16. PelicanWig

    PelicanWig Beautiful Soup

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    This whole thing is such bullshit. Anyone that believes this cat is anything other than a pure breed that Cunt wanted is a mouth breathing mongoloid. I am shocked and completely astonished that those two are going to try and probably will pull this off. This story stinks of shit soooooooooooo much.
     
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  17. Afganistand

    Afganistand Motivationally Deficient VIP

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    http://bethfanpage.blogspot.com/2014/09/beth-bouncing-instabomb.html
     
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  18. reno

    reno VIP Extreme Gold

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    I had no legs. Then Beth touched my stumps. Now my legs have grown back and I'm running marathons. It's a miracle!
     
  19. Vashier

    Vashier VIP Extreme Gold

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    If you go through all the stories the main thing that remains the same is that Yoda was a matted mess when he got there. If he was living in a cage at NSAL long enough to be diagnosed with a fatal heart defect don't you think they could have cleaned him up a lil if they care for these animals?
     
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  20. chuk

    chuk Well-Known Member

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    Beth will euthanize the cat right around the release of the book.
     
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