The other day on Reddit I made a comment that the old Stern Show tape library is not as valuable as one might think at first. There’s a lot of stuff there that simply can’t or won’t be played. Keep in mind that back in the early days, Howard might spend the majority of the show talking about one subject, like the sensational news story of the day or some show drama. In my opinion, stuff we’ll probably never hear again includes: Alison Stern. Howard would often dedicate an hour or more to whatever awkward or maddening thing that happened between them the day before. He’d call her on the air and they’d discuss/argue about their botched attempt at sex, or something he did that upset her. Anything more than a passing mention of “my wife” in the replays, and it seems like we’ll never ever hear them again. This alone wipes out an awful lot from the archive well. On a related note, Howard’s rants when celebrities would cheat on their spouses, get divorces, have second families, etc., where Howard would hold himself out to be better than them because he’s staying with his wife and his one family. “Everybody loves this guy even after he’s banging the nanny and leaving his family, and I’m hated even though I’m a good family man!” I have a feeling this stuff won’t get aired again. The early early days when even Howard himself says that he sucked. All the self-congratulatory clapping! Just unlistenable now for more than a minute or two. Especially before he was syndicated, Howard spent a lot of time on local news stories. Any time there was a story that played out over several days, Howard would discuss the latest developments for a LONG time each day. I just don’t see that making for good replay listening. Things that I don’t think will hold interest are then-hot stories like the Crown Heights riots, Leona Helmsley, Tawana Brawley/Al Sharpton, LIRR shooting, David Dinkins tax evasion, etc. However, I think a well-edited arc giving an extended overview of something like the entirety of the OJ Simpson or Joey Buttafuco cases would make for a fascinating week’s worth of listening. “Let’s listen to what happened yesterday” segments where he’d have 10 minutes of some interaction or argument amongst guests, and they’d play 30 seconds at a time, parsing and discussing it for an hour or more. For several days. “Play the bit/discuss the bit.” First, a lot of the old classic pre-recorded bits seem to be dead and buried. Maybe they sound weak now. Maybe the content now makes them cringe. But we don’t hear Out of the Closet Stern goofing on gays, or the old “now lookie here” black material, etc. And a lot of people may not remember that Howard would play a bit, then explain the bit immediately afterward. “So Lucy gets a sex toy caught in her most intimate of areas, Robin, and she has to get Ethel to pry it out before Ricky comes home…” And then the bit would get replayed a couple times a day for a couple of days so listeners in all time periods had a chance to hear it. Not a lot there to support a replay segment. Radio wars. Remember how the beatings on Mark & Brian or the Philadelphia zookeeper was relentless, daily, extended pounding? These things took months to play out, eating up hours of show time. Personally, I’d love to hear some of that, but these subjects tend to be buried now. They might replay the funeral, but the weeks leading up to it, they just don’t. Again, I think a good radio war is something that could be edited into a week-long story arc, but at this point they’re not being played. Howard going over the latest ratings book in detail. Generally doesn’t hold up for replay. Wars with celebrities, who are now his friends. Apparently they don’t want to rile up the listeners and have these people publicly berated and harassed all over again. 1-800-52-STERN. Remember when Howard had a video or other project to sell? Hours upon hours of show time was devoted talking about the product. Funny behind the scenes stories, how you’ve gotta see this, phone lines are open, this stuff goes way up in value, they’re shipping this week…and then the calls that were either “hey I ordered and didn’t get it yet” or “hey I just got it, it’s great.” And a lot of those things were great. Not good for replay though. Airing frustrations over the Channel 9 show. When the Channel 9 show was in production, Howard would spend a lot of time talking about how they had no budget, how the station or the producers would get in the way, how the lighting was bad, and yet they were beating SNL and still those bastards won’t step up. The Channel 9 shows were genius, but they spent a lot of radio time talking about the TV show, and that doesn’t seem to be ripe material for replay. Sexy phone stories. Back at K-Rock Howard would take a call from a random woman saying she had her first lesbian experience last night. If she told the story too fast, Howard would reel her back and make her discuss everything in detail. What were you wearing, wait, how were her legs, did she smell good? I don’t know why they don’t replay these, because a lot of them were really hot. But they’re not part of the replay rotation. The News with Robin. The last hour of every show was topical, and produced a lot of great stuff, especially if a comedian was sitting in and riffing. But a lot of days it was Robin gives the story, Howard makes a comment, what else Robin? Sorry this first post is so long. But what else do you think won’t get played in replays? What should get replayed, but isn’t?