That is the question I've been struggling with for sometime. Was Howard always a lying, jealous, cheap scumbag from the very beginning and I was just to blindly loyal to see it? Or, did he gradually change as the years rolled by and the money rolled in? I confess, there were times back in the day when Howard appeared to be a dickbag, but I turned my head away in denyal. Through the years there was plenty of times I spotted a chink in the armour, but put on the blinders. Early in the NBC days, I thought he treated Soupy Sales pretty badly. Now, I never minded whhen Howard turned rabid dog on a rival or someone who badmouthed him, but I don't think Soupy ever said one negative thing about him (at least on air). If my memory is faulty, someone here will set me straight. Then, when he insisted HE have a limo pick him up for work because Imus had one, I thought, well okay, I guess that's a little petty, but, why not. Imus got one. Still, even then, in the back of my mind a little voice was saying, "Hey, I thought Howard was one of us. A regular working stiff. He really needs a limo to drive him to work?". I dismissed that notion thinking, hey, chalk up one for the little guy. Win! There were times when Howards ugly side really emerged on the air, when it went from a rant to a screaming maniac about to have a stroke. Or, when he just ripped Gary a new asshole over a tiny mistake (yeah, Gary has made some major blunders in the past, but a lot of times it was mostly stupid little stuff too) where I felt really horrible for Booey. I stuck up for Howard then too. Hey, the guy works hard. He's just letting off a little steam. In the back of my mind the voice screamed, "Hey, have been Gary in some past jobs. Would you worship a boss who treated you like that?" The answer of course is no. His so easily casting aside Jackie and Billy (hearts and souls of the show) over money. Hey, Jackie wasn't starving back then, but poor Billy was earning peanuts and delivering HUGE laughs (in part due to Jackie feeding him lines), but Stern's greed and ego got in the way. I fully backed him when he ran for governor of NY. Then he backed out when he had to disclose his earnings. We were bamboozed again. It was all a bit. Funny thing was, I honestly believed he actually could have won had he stayed in. I can give countless examples of Howard being a jealous, petty, jerk and all through the years I overlooked it. Even defended him. Now things are diffrent. I'm older, hopefully wiser, more cynical. I listen to clips of the old shows, the Golden Age of Stern and don't find them as funny. I hear Howard boast, and self promote, exagerate and and straight out lie even then. Now, everything seems like it was a bit (maybe it was). What I used to believe was raw, honest radio appears to have been all bullshit. Didn't notice it as much then, but now it just slaps me in the face. I'm a guy who woke up 4:00 am to take the train into the city and then wait on line outside Barns & Nobels for his first book signing. When I decided to move out of New York I had to be certain that Howard was syndicated to where I was moving or I'd move somewhere else that did. I endlessly argued with my dad that Howard was a greater radio star than Rush Limbaugh. I boycotted what Howard was against and supported what he was for. I was a fan. A diehard fan. I don't want to believe I was so dumb and nieve, but I guess maybe I was. How do you guys see it? Were we all fools. Am I overreaching? Have I become so bitter in recent years that it has forever tarished my memory of the good years? I need guidence.