Well I'm not going to be Drinking again for a while! Post some fun drunk stories !

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Super Mario, May 14, 2013.

  1. Super Mario

    Super Mario Well-Known Member

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    Wow I'm still recovering from last night. So me and my sister went out and were looking for some cheap happy hour places and ended up picking Friday's but fuck me I ended up spending over forty bucks. Some happy hour that was! Well three bars and many shots later I ended up at west park dancing like ahhippie to some hippy music band. That's the last thing I remember.
    I woke up still thrashed this morning in a some random driveway in Cleveland.my glasses were missing and I was in my sisters back seat and it was covered in my puke. I walked in to the house which all the furniture was from the fifties. Soccreepy. I was still so drunk and horny that my plan was to just get in to bed with any guy that was there and touch him. So If no guys were there I was going to go in the neighbors house

    Well I go in to one bedroom and accidently stumble and I tripped on the door and shut it and I got up to try to Open it and there's no door knob on it! I started panicking and I said OMG I'm in another house of horrers like those girls! That got kidnapped! So I started pounding on the door saying help but no one came so I jumped out window and fell in a bush.
    I was all Scratched up and I hurt my butt bone pretty bad I walked back in to the house and went in the house sAnd found my sister and said how did we end up in Cleveland and she said were in westlake and passed back out. I finally went in tthe basement laid down on a pile of clothes and masturbated for ten minutes. I was not able to cum and I passed out with my pants open.
     
    Last edited: May 14, 2013
  2. Markijuano

    Markijuano Well-Known Member

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    On a Monday. Bravo holmes that's better than doing gay stuff
     
  3. Mr. Potato Head

    Mr. Potato Head ~Would Like to Play~ Gold

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    :omg: The same thing happened to me last night!! :wtf:
     
  4. Gas Face

    Gas Face Well-Known Member

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    forty bucks got you that loaded and you're bitching?
     
  5. Stevie

    Stevie Now go...Ohm.

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    You were gay last night?
     
  6. nazdrowie

    nazdrowie Sultan of Sweat Gold

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    this one time I passed out on a bench in front of Union Station after partying all night at The Guvernment
     
  7. FtM

    FtM Starless & Bible Black Gold

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    Why you aren't famous befuddles me. :)
     
  8. Super Mario

    Super Mario Well-Known Member

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    I bought ut a steak dinner with shrimp scampi on the side and three of those hurricane drinks. Ended up spending at least forty more later my plan was to not go over twenty five
     
  9. VeeB

    VeeB I have a Full Member VIP

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    Mario, you need to wear a helmet cam, like 24/7.
     
  10. Gas Face

    Gas Face Well-Known Member

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    sounds like a good time, brah. Hang in there.
     
  11. HowardsPrenup

    HowardsPrenup Well-Known Member

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    You are a crazy but funny sonofabitch. Good story!:clap: I had to sleep outside and break the lock to my apt door once. Luckily it was in the 60's that night. And I threatened to beat the shit out of a guy running karaoke for making me wait to sing my damn song. You don't do that.:guitar:
     
  12. artful dodger

    artful dodger Well-Known Member

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    i love how hooking up with a girl isn't even an option when you're incoherently smashed and horny
     
  13. artful dodger

    artful dodger Well-Known Member

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    btw how's your dick after ten minutes of drunken tugging
     
  14. Super Mario

    Super Mario Well-Known Member

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    I love how in that state I automatically assume the whole neighborhood is gay and any guy would not mind me jumping in to bed with them with my puke breath and touching there junk. I never get like that I was wasted
     
  15. Super Mario

    Super Mario Well-Known Member

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    It's fine I've gone way longer than that always dry so it's pretty tough
     
  16. Mr. Potato Head

    Mr. Potato Head ~Would Like to Play~ Gold

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    FUCK YEAH!! :yes:

    Dry is the way to go! Real men like it rough! :nutpunch:
     
  17. freds

    freds you broke it VIP

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    "jumped out a window" and "hurt my butt bone" are the best parts.
     
  18. VeeB

    VeeB I have a Full Member VIP

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    I like how Mario asks us to post drunk stories, and then posts a story that could never be topped.
     
  19. freds

    freds you broke it VIP

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    oh, it could be topped.




    (no gay pun intended)
     
  20. artful dodger

    artful dodger Well-Known Member

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    yeah ok rio