Well, stoners... this is what you wanted.

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Shivvy, Jan 24, 2014.

  1. Shivvy

    Shivvy Well-Known Member Banned User

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    http://abriluno.com/phillip-morris-introduces-marlboro-marijuana-cigarettes/

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    Phillip Morris, the world’s biggest cigarette producer, announced today that they will join the marijuana legalization bandwagon and start producing marijuana cigarettes. Marketed under the brand “Marlboro Mâ€, the cigarettes will be made available for sale through marijuana-licensed outlets in the state of Colorado, and the state of Washington when it becomes commercially legal there later this year.

    Serafin Norcik, Phillip Morris’ Sr. Vice President for Marketing said in an interview that the company has been high on the idea of marketing cannabis, and has been monitoring the market for some time. It was only when the recent legalization initiatives — winning in Colorado and Washington — that they finally made the decision to take a leap of faith.

    Norcik added that they have begun contacting former drug lords in Mexico and Paraguay, currently the largest marijuana-producing countries in the world, for the possibility of setting up a distribution ring across the North and South American continents, to streamline the supply lines.

    Since only tobacco products are currently banned in advertisements and promotions in the United States, Phillip Morris also has set aside a huge $15 billion advertising budget just to promote the new “Marlboro M†and are now negotiating with major networks and publishers, to start marketing the product to consumers in the beginning of 2015.

    Norcik also revealed that a big initial push is planned around January next year, and have acquired most of the ad airtime for Superbowl XLIX. However, since marijuana will be legal only in Colorado and Washington during the 2015 Superbowl, all the ads will be blacked out in all other States and will only show a static “M†logo with smoke blowing in the background, for the duration of the ad.

    Phillip Morris shares hit an all-time high on the marijuana news and shot up to $998.00 from $83.03 just a few hours after the announcement went public.
     
  2. Oderus

    Oderus Going to hell VIP

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    good. tax the shit out of it and reduce the national debt :cheer:
     
  3. Bro

    Bro Corporate Fascist VIP Gold

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    tl D to the Fkin R
     
  4. nazdrowie

    nazdrowie Sultan of Sweat Gold

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    marijuana cigarettes :jj:
     
  5. RH Goatcabin

    RH Goatcabin Notable Member VIP

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    Lerxst. :nojj:
     
  6. fletchman71

    fletchman71 Well-Known Member

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    Did this come from the Onion? This sounds bogus. Cigarettes need a federal tax stamp to be sold legally in the US and weed is still illegal under federal law.
     
  7. Kanye West

    Kanye West Yeezus! Gold

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    im going to have sex with oderus
     
  8. Lemmy

    Lemmy Douchebag Extraordinaire Gold

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    :fil:
     
  9. A Succulent Chinese Meal

    A Succulent Chinese Meal Oh, that's a nice headlock, sir. VIP

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    Serafin Norcik is not real.
     
  10. Oderus

    Oderus Going to hell VIP

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  11. Kanye West

    Kanye West Yeezus! Gold

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    what? now that you are divorced you want to be fucked too?
     
  12. sstressed

    sstressed enhancement toker VIP

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    i'm cautiously optimistic. :yay:

    It will be interesting to see how tokers rate the pot they use.
     
  13. baltimore mike

    baltimore mike Shitty Bar Thread Creator

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    This is what happened on weeds
     
  14. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Shit Mult Hunter Gold

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    We have a 17 trillion plus budget deficit and we have over 100 trillion in unfunded liabilities, ignorant short ginger fuck!
     
  15. baltimore mike

    baltimore mike Shitty Bar Thread Creator

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    damn
     
  16. A Succulent Chinese Meal

    A Succulent Chinese Meal Oh, that's a nice headlock, sir. VIP

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    Are unfunded liabilities like the guests on Maury Povich?
     
  17. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Shit Mult Hunter Gold

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    [​IMG]
     
  18. Kanye West

    Kanye West Yeezus! Gold

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    yes he means A group of lovely people
     
  19. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Shit Mult Hunter Gold

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    The government's even more bloated than you.
     
  20. Shivvy

    Shivvy Well-Known Member Banned User

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    so hostile :no: