WTF What an idiot...Man becomes goat

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by Shithead, May 27, 2016.

  1. Shithead

    Shithead Well-Known Member

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    Why I decided to give up my life in London and become a goat in Switzerland: Jobless Brit lives among mountain animals and creates prosthetics so he is just like them

    When the rat race became too much for Thomas Thwaites he quit London and became a goat... in Switzerland.
    The 35-year-old spent a year creating prosthetic 'goat legs' that would allow him to roam the Alps comfortably on all fours and an artificial stomach that would enable him to blend in and 'eat grass'.
    Thwaites said: 'I suffered quite a lot as a goat, because of the slope I was constantly falling over, and of course I had to eat grass.
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    Thomas Thwaites (pictured) created special legs and a fake stomach in a bid to live as a goat
    'Also the goats didn't seem to like me very much, sometimes I thought they were really going to try and attack me. And they have particularly dangerous horns.
    'But I later realised that they were just letting me know there was a hierarchy, and I should know my place.'
    Thwaites said: 'The best moment was when one of the goats suddenly decided she was going to be my friend, and she just followed me everywhere.
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    Thomas Thwaites said he felt like the goats did not like him much and might attack him
    'She would muzzle me with her nose and like to have me close. The goatherd told me at the end that the herd had accepted me as one of their number - it was a great feeling.'
    Thwaites said: 'When I first had the idea a lot of people called me crazy, but I was fed up with my life anyway and I needed a break. I was jobless and I had a lot of personal problems, and I found everyday life so stressful.'
    'One day I was walking with the dog of a friend and I noticed that the dog just seemed really happy about life, without any worries, and I thought to myself it would be really great to be you for a day.'
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    Thomas Thwaites persuaded a goatherd to let him come along when the herd were moved to their summer pasture
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    Why would anyone go to such lengths to be a goat? 'I suppose it was because it could be fairly difficult, depressive and just stressful being a human being,' he said
    But as he was not keen on meat he decided against becoming a dog.
    Thwaites said the idea of 'being an elephant had appealed' but then he realised they 'seem to have the same problems we do - they get sad, they get upset and they can even suffer from post-traumatic stress. That was exactly the sort of thing I was trying to get away from.'
    Eventually he settled on the idea of being a goat.
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    The 35-year-old researcher from London created prosthetics that allowed him to roam around on all fours
    He applied for a university grant to study goat psychology and tracked down a goatherd in the village of Wolfenschiessen in Switzerland who was prepared to tolerate him living with his animals as they were being taken to their summer pasture.
    Thwaites' prosthetic 'goat legs' were designed with the help of a clinic in Manchester which helps people who have suffered amputations.
    The fake goat's stomach - created with experts from the University of Aberystwyth - was strapped onto his waist and helped him to secretly spit chewed up grass inside without giving the game away to his new hircine chums.
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    Getting used to the prosthetic goat legs proved challenging for Thwaites. Without any hands free, he would often end up flat on his face
    'I could then strap this bag to my torso and spit chewed up grass into one opening and suck the cultured microbes and volatile fatty acids out another opening like a milkshake, so I can digest them in my true stomach and live off grass in the Alps like a goat,' he said.
    'I learned something important, and that is that even goats have a hard life and need to fight for their existence. Every day was tough, and that is something that just is part of being alive.
    'The one other thing I reckon I found is that goats are better people. They live much more in the moment than we do, and show us that we really do need to learn to be a bit more relaxed about life.'
    Now he has written a book about his time on the mountain: 'GoatMan: How I Took a Holiday from Being Human'.
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    The prosthetics were painful, the landscape was tough and Thwaites was constantly battling the cold. Those challenges, however, were nothing compared to the task of convincing the herd he was one of them
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    After his three days living with the herd in the Alps, Thwaites spent another three days as a goat living alone
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    Thomas Thwaites is pictured being fitted for the special helmet he wore to disguise himself as a goat
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    I wandered lonely as a goat - mountain mist closes in on Thomas Thwaites
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    'It was an interesting experience,' he said. 'I guess, I just think perhaps it would be nicer to live a simpler life'
     
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  2. Pelicanman

    Pelicanman Engorged Member VIP Gold

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    Five bucks says he fucked the she-goat.
     
  3. JameGumb

    JameGumb We're all out of toner!

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  4. rolltide

    rolltide Well-Known Member VIP

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    I'm waiting to see the photos of when the heard's alpha mounts him; then bashes him in the "special helmet" with his horns.
     
  5. goldtopper

    goldtopper Well Known Heterosexual Gold

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    Or a Jamaican makes curry out of him.
     
  6. Ferris Bueller

    Ferris Bueller floating around

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  7. RH Goatcabin

    RH Goatcabin Notable Member VIP

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    Mulletude likes this.
  8. Hal E. Burton

    Hal E. Burton Well-Known Member

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  9. DiamondGoddess

    DiamondGoddess Born Ready for My Close-Up! Gold

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    I new a guy from Nepal who cooked goat.

    Smells vile!!!

    And his poop was white from eating so much rice...
     
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  10. DiamondGoddess

    DiamondGoddess Born Ready for My Close-Up! Gold

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    This extreme attention-whoring is funded by UK welfare, or a research grant, riiiiiiiiight?

    :facepalm:
     
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  11. Sleep

    Sleep I Only Drink Caucasian Water DawgShed News

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    What an asshole.
     
  12. Drungle

    Drungle VIP Extreme Gold

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    Is this like cosplay? Where's that CMPunk fan?
    [​IMG]
     
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  13. geo

    geo Well-Known Member

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  14. geo

    geo Well-Known Member

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  15. lilbuddy67

    lilbuddy67 A man with breath-taking anger management issues Banned User

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    Baaaaaa-aaad idea.
     
  16. LonghornJ

    LonghornJ VIP Extreme Gold

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    So brave and inspiring


    A hero
     
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  17. Hal E. Burton

    Hal E. Burton Well-Known Member

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  18. HowardsPrenup

    HowardsPrenup Well-Known Member

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  19. Mr Cachexic

    Mr Cachexic Well-Known Member Banned User

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    [​IMG]
     
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  20. rolltide

    rolltide Well-Known Member VIP

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    Ass up face down
     
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