What are Your Porn Turn-Offs?

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by peterfonda, Jul 9, 2014.

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  1. peterfonda

    peterfonda Well-Known Member

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    I'm sure this has happened to everyone at some point.

    You're watching a porno and the scene starts developing and becoming hot, and you're starting to yank the crank. Then "something" happens in the scene that just flat ruins it for you. What is that "something"?

    I'll start, in no particular order.

    (1) The woman has much smaller boobs than it appeared when the scene began. I feel cheated.
    (1)(a) The woman has large boobs but with obvious and poorly placed implants. I've seen women in porn with their nipples halfway up their boobs. Visible scars under the boobs suck too. Like ice water on my cock. Don't they have makeup for that?

    (2) The blowjob part of the scene goes on for far too long. I don't need 10 minutes of a woman slobbering over some guy's cock. I get the idea after about 30 seconds. Move on!
    (2)(a) The woman either spits on the cock or chokes on it while blowing the guy. Not interested in seeing her retch either. Seeing a rope of spit stretching from the woman's mouth to the guy's cock is gross.

    (3) The woman is wearing a garter belt. What is it with that shit? That might have been sexy 40 years ago but not now.

    (4) The woman takes off her top and has tattooed boobs or pierced nipples. Both are hard-on kryptonite for me. Sluts getting fucked is no fun. Give me a woman with no tats and no piercings every time.

    (5) The woman wears ridiculous high heels throughout the scene. I understand that the floors at porn shoots might not be too clean and the women don't want to get their feet dirty. But if they're already getting fucked by some guy, is dirty feet really that much of a concern? The fantasy is better if she is completely barefoot.
    (5)(a) The woman does not get completely nude. I'm not really interested in seeing her getting fucked with her panties pushed aside or her top opened up. If I'm watching porn, I want to see the whole body at some point, thank you.

    (6) Poor camera work - in a lesbo scene, if one woman is stripping another, I want to see her body exposed as the clothes are coming off - I don't want the camera focusing on her face. So many cameramen get this wrong and it kills the scene.
    (6)(a) As a corollary to (2) above, pussy licking in a lesbo scene can also go on for too long.

    (7) When the woman is doing cowgirl, shooting the scene from behind for too long is also a no-no. I want to see her face and her tits bouncing in the guy's face while she gets fucked (one of my personal faves). No matter how hot or pretty a porn star is, her back is never her best feature, especially if there's a tat there.

    That's all I can think of at the moment What about you guys (and ladies too)?
     
    Jul 9, 2014 #1
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  2. Pickle Jar

    Pickle Jar Well-Known Member

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    White women fucking black guys
     
    Jul 9, 2014 #2
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  3. Chimney Portions

    Chimney Portions I drink cum Banned User

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    :winner:
     
    Jul 9, 2014 #3
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  4. HowieStearn

    HowieStearn HateClub

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    scat. and dicks- they bum me out

    [​IMG]
     
    Jul 9, 2014 #4
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  5. Blur

    Blur Alumnus

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    [​IMG]
    Shiekhs fucking Horses..
     
    Jul 9, 2014 #5
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  6. Dick Nose

    Dick Nose Well-Known Member VIP

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    I agree, but like black women being fucked by white guy;)
     
    Jul 9, 2014 #6
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  7. Pickle Jar

    Pickle Jar Well-Known Member

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    Well that's different!!
     
    Jul 9, 2014 #7
  8. imissalison

    imissalison f**k Mutt

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    Goes without saying...ugly broads.

    Nothing better than a young Jenna Jameson or Bibi Jones to get the juices flowing.
     
    Jul 9, 2014 #8
  9. Chimney Portions

    Chimney Portions I drink cum Banned User

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    I'm definitely not into the humiliation shit. Or the shit that borders on violent or angry. I watched a clip of that Duke porn chick after there was a thread about her and it was of some guy smacking her around and calling her a cunt. I hate that.

    I'm more a fan of g/g or solo stuff because I don't want to see some guy's asshole or face or feet in the fucking frame.

    But yeah, interracial porn is definitely a HUGE turnoff. I think I told this story before, but a friend of mine who lives in Cali got an "escort" who is/was a fairly well known porn star. When he told me her name, I googled her and the first clip I saw was her getting gangbanged by five black guys. I don't get why any dude...especially a white dude, would be into that. It looked like I was watching evidence in a felony trial.
     
    Jul 9, 2014 #9
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  10. Chimney Portions

    Chimney Portions I drink cum Banned User

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    You mean like when a sheriff's deputy carries out an eviction?
     
    Jul 9, 2014 #10
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  11. Anyonenow

    Anyonenow Well-Known Member

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    OP has given this way too much thought.
     
    Jul 9, 2014 #11
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  12. Chimney Portions

    Chimney Portions I drink cum Banned User

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    [​IMG]
     
    Jul 9, 2014 #12
  13. Mr Vengeance

    Mr Vengeance Ladies love cool V. VIP

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    I don't need close up shots of the fucking dude's fuck-face. I'm just getting warmed up, getting into the chick sucking dick and then BAM- a ten second closeup of the fucking guy's face.

    Also, double penetration does nothing for me. Two dudes with their dicks rubbing against each other, even if they are in the chick, IS GAY..... AND FAGGOT!!!!
     
    Jul 9, 2014 #13
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  14. Joe Bauers

    Joe Bauers Well-Known Member

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    Why are the brothers always Fucking white chicks in the ass ? don't they know there's a Vagina 2MM away ? Are they all Homos ? Way too much ass sex in porno's. I mean who does that Robin ?
     
    Jul 9, 2014 #14
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  15. Blur

    Blur Alumnus

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    [​IMG]
     
    Jul 9, 2014 #15
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  16. Mr Vengeance

    Mr Vengeance Ladies love cool V. VIP

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    "I hate blowjob scenes, Robin. I don't want to see weiner."
     
    Jul 9, 2014 #16
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  17. PI Nate

    PI Nate Disenfranchised since 1984... Gold POTY Politics

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    Too much screen time for guys.
    BAD or loud music.
    Too much talking.
    Pre-sex interviews. Its not possible for me to care less to know, how long theyve been in the business. How old they are or where theyre from...:coffee:
     
    Jul 9, 2014 #17
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  18. beetlejosh

    beetlejosh "It looks like somebody shot his tits off." Gold

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    All that cream pie shit...:puke:
     
    Jul 9, 2014 #18
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  19. MrPACS

    MrPACS Well-Known Member

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    Tattoos
     
    Jul 9, 2014 #19
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  20. Chimney Portions

    Chimney Portions I drink cum Banned User

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    "I hate lesbian porn, Robin. I don't want to see the vaginers up close."

    :bigthink
     
    Jul 9, 2014 #20
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