What if Gary's wife had twisted her ankle causing Gary to miss Ben Stern's funeral?

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by chapped, Jun 21, 2012.

  1. chapped

    chapped Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    384,616
    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2012
    Messages:
    55,632
    Likes Received:
    61,906
    What if Gary's wife had twisted her ankle causing Gary to miss Ben Stern's funeral?

    I am sure Howard would have fucked, goofed, ripped on fah-fah-monkey every day for years and years

    There would have been dozens of song paradoys and endless bits with Fred doing the "hey boff... Marry hurt her ankle boff"


    [​IMG]


    [​IMG]
     
  2. Gay Howard

    Gay Howard New Member

    Reputations:
    -3
    Joined:
    Mar 11, 2012
    Messages:
    124
    Likes Received:
    0
    He would have started in with the syco babble bullshit and said Mary didn't want to go that's why she broke her ankle.
     
  3. tHISisKiSSeL

    tHISisKiSSeL ♡❂❁❀♡ Gold

    Reputations:
    23,278
    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2012
    Messages:
    7,577
    Likes Received:
    4,486
    gary would go without her. HS can't just leave the attentionhorse at home.
     
  4. Stinkfist

    Stinkfist Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    -32,810
    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2012
    Messages:
    6,123
    Likes Received:
    8,124
    "If my wife took a picture with her head on some guy's shoulder, I would divorce her!"


    Or whatever that dumb quote was before Bethman did the same.
     
  5. reno

    reno VIP Extreme Gold

    Reputations:
    324,256
    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2012
    Messages:
    13,715
    Likes Received:
    40,585
    Baba's dads funeral. No one famous so no reason to go.

    Ed bradley funeral. Lots of famous people. If beth broke her ankle before this one Howie still would have gone.
     
  6. Mlaw

    Mlaw Quite Contrarian Gold

    Reputations:
    369,458
    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2010
    Messages:
    58,833
    Likes Received:
    23,912
    this is surely a timely question
     
  7. k4D3t

    k4D3t Reverse Apache Master VIP

    Reputations:
    4,282
    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2010
    Messages:
    15,734
    Likes Received:
    169
    what makes you think howard will be attending his parents' funerals?
     
  8. shockingmary

    shockingmary New Member Banned User

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2012
    Messages:
    2,584
    Likes Received:
    2
    Ofcourse there would. Howard is the boff. Don't you get the show?
     
  9. Pukyak Lover

    Pukyak Lover New Member Banned User

    Reputations:
    -6
    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2012
    Messages:
    245
    Likes Received:
    0
    If Mother Mary had twisted her ankle she still would have gone out with her girlfriends for dinner, left Gary with the kids, brought back a doggie bag from the restaurant and let her kids choose the choicest morsels before Gary got a crack at the doggie bag. Gary could then do what H did and send a cold cut platter to the funeral. I usually don't go negative till after 9am, but what the heck.
     
  10. GoshGeeGolly

    GoshGeeGolly VIP Extreme Gold

    Reputations:
    56,006
    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2012
    Messages:
    7,869
    Likes Received:
    9,547
    they'd have taped and iced her ankle so she could pay her respects.
     
  11. IlluminatiJones

    IlluminatiJones New Member

    Reputations:
    15
    Joined:
    May 5, 2012
    Messages:
    4,283
    Likes Received:
    6
    Howard and Beth would have gone. He would have wheeled her ass in there front and center. It would have been quite the comical to see footage of his uncoordinated, gangly ass struggling to maneuver her amongst the mourners, with Beth trying to look respectfully sad but growing increasingly irritated by Howard's incompetence.

    Yes, it would have been quite the scene.
     
  12. PI Nate

    PI Nate Disenfranchised since 1984... Gold

    Reputations:
    272,563
    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2011
    Messages:
    52,405
    Likes Received:
    52,410
    Mary would have to show if she were on a respirator...
     
  13. Ronniecheated

    Ronniecheated Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    6,104
    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2012
    Messages:
    1,547
    Likes Received:
    1,442
    If a horse breaks it ankle I thought they put it down.
     
  14. joyceface

    joyceface Queen of Everything VIP

    Reputations:
    48,870
    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2011
    Messages:
    9,317
    Likes Received:
    8,890
    I think Gary would go to the funeral. Not cause it's his boss, because that's just the kind of person he is. When your friend's father dies you go to their funeral whether it's inconvenient or not. Mary would insist he go.
     
  15. IlluminatiJones

    IlluminatiJones New Member

    Reputations:
    15
    Joined:
    May 5, 2012
    Messages:
    4,283
    Likes Received:
    6
    Word.

    And Howard would claim that she showed up with it because she was looking for attention and trying to steal Howard's funeral thunder.
     
  16. chapped

    chapped Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    384,616
    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2012
    Messages:
    55,632
    Likes Received:
    61,906

    is the word "IF" too abstract of a concept for you to grab?
     
  17. Willowglen

    Willowglen Lookin thru the glass ceiling & up Stephs skirt VIP

    Reputations:
    86,474
    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2012
    Messages:
    10,080
    Likes Received:
    13,555
    Pushing Beth in a wheelchair because there was no way she was missing it.
     
  18. DogStar69

    DogStar69 Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    -132,548
    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2010
    Messages:
    29,076
    Likes Received:
    15,925
    If someone chopped Gary's legs off he would still make it to Ben's funeral.
     
  19. chapped

    chapped Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    384,616
    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2012
    Messages:
    55,632
    Likes Received:
    61,906
    Gary is like the alien in The Thing.. you cut the fuckers head off and it will grow insect legs and keep walking


    [video=youtube;15hHUK1lIgk]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=15hHUK1lIgk[/video]
     
  20. cheezedbyfate

    cheezedbyfate Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    737
    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2011
    Messages:
    5,486
    Likes Received:
    80
    truly the most despicable thing howard ever did.....