What is the protocol for a bear in the neighborhood?

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by !!!kaboom!!!, Nov 16, 2015.

  1. !!!kaboom!!!

    !!!kaboom!!! Well-Known Member Banned User

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    I live in the country, in a neighborhood of about 20 houses pretty spread apart.

    A bear has entered the neighborhood and has everyone talking.

    What would be the protocol if it enters my yard?

    You can't fire a gun in my state within 500 yards of a residence. It's a major penalty if you do.

    I don't hunt, but do practice archery and have some razor arrowheads that probably could take out a typical black bear -- and there are lots of little kids and old ladies on my street who probably need protecting -- but that seems a bit needless, no?

    Calling the DEC or whatever would take forever for them to come.

    Should I just live and let live?
     
  2. Gwarn1

    Gwarn1 Worlds poorest sugar daddy VIP

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    hide your picnic baskets
     
  3. Benham

    Benham Still Better Than You

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    Quit being a faggot
     
  4. A Succulent Chinese Meal

    A Succulent Chinese Meal Oh, that's a nice headlock, sir. VIP

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    wrap your wife's bathrobe in sausage
     
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  5. BaddFunn

    BaddFunn Kick ass fuck yeah VIP

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    Hide in your garbage can.
     
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  6. BleedingGums

    BleedingGums Fesh Fox Faggot VIP

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    Get naked

    Rub urself with raw meat

    Stand in the middle of the street
     
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  7. harlock

    harlock ancora imparo Gold

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    [​IMG]

    this stuff works great. get some for next time.
     
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  8. gilaet

    gilaet Xanax Service Dog Staff Member

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    You moved into the bear's neighborhood.
     
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  9. Apple the cat

    Apple the cat Moral conscience of the Shed

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    A serious answer for a change- call your local Dept. of Fish & Wildlife, and let them know you have a bear in your neighborhood. Most DFW's will set a bear trap and come check on it. When they catch the bear, they haul it off to the wilderness where it doesn't bother humans anymore.
     
  10. A Succulent Chinese Meal

    A Succulent Chinese Meal Oh, that's a nice headlock, sir. VIP

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    He's trapped in his house with his wife and now guess what, Ed? Bears.
     
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  11. Mlaw

    Mlaw Quite Contrarian Gold

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    open the pool

     
  12. gilaet

    gilaet Xanax Service Dog Staff Member

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    I used to have a black bear come around just to fuck with my grill.
    Now the grill is in the garage.
     
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  13. Ridic

    Ridic Too ridic to quit Banned User

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    Ask @Dream Theater's neighbors what the protocol was when he moved in.
     
  14. Gitfiddle

    Gitfiddle Live Deliciously

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    Bears are scary.

    [​IMG]
     
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  15. DarkFriday

    DarkFriday Fired as a MOD...Twice. Gold

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    Burn your house down and move away.
     
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  16. Gomez

    Gomez Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]
     
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  17. Ridic

    Ridic Too ridic to quit Banned User

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    I have a pretty sweet gray fox that comes around my house. Keeps the mice and rats from nesting in the Areca Palms I hope.
     
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  18. DarkFriday

    DarkFriday Fired as a MOD...Twice. Gold

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    :fil:
     
  19. doughhead63

    doughhead63 OD'd on life itself Staff Member

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  20. Apple the cat

    Apple the cat Moral conscience of the Shed

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    Gomez's way works the best. Shoot it clean and you have a nice rug for in front of the fireplace.
     
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