What is your closest encounter with a bear?

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by Slow, Jul 30, 2015.

  1. Slow

    Slow Just a gangster I suppose DawgShed News

    Reputations:
    189,006
    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2014
    Messages:
    19,724
    Likes Received:
    89,277
    I went hiking in Grand Teton in Wyoming just outside of yellowstone. We were coming across a ton of fresh tracks and droppings and I didn't know whether to shit or wind my watch. I eventually had my first encounters in yellowstone but there were so many dumb asian tourists around that I could have outrun several old women if shit went down. Has anyone here ever had a good encounter with a bear?



    please spare me your encounters with this...

    [​IMG]
     
    smichal, zutroy, Tyrus and 8 others like this.
  2. Mlaw

    Mlaw Quite Contrarian VIP Gold

    Reputations:
    119,518
    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2010
    Messages:
    62,980
    Likes Received:
    28,655
    Winnie the Pooh at Disney World
     
  3. Pooh bear

    Pooh bear Well-Known Member VIP

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2014
    Messages:
    16,541
    Likes Received:
    41,323
    I find him creepily attractive :hhh:
    And no, I never met a real bear....
     
    smichal, Bryce, babybear and 2 others like this.
  4. Pooh bear

    Pooh bear Well-Known Member VIP

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2014
    Messages:
    16,541
    Likes Received:
    41,323
    :beer:
     
    Shortwave98 and IfTheyOnlyKnew like this.
  5. Wainegro

    Wainegro Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    3,123
    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2014
    Messages:
    2,242
    Likes Received:
    3,726
    You took the fucking wind right out of my sails, I had jokes lined up, and gifs galore. Fucking killjoy
     
  6. basto

    basto Active Member

    Reputations:
    189
    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2014
    Messages:
    114
    Likes Received:
    205
    25yds, a big sow black bear and two cubs crossed a logging road in front of me. They never even saw me. I just stood there frozen until they passed. I have gotten pictures of them also on my trail cam.
     
  7. IfTheyOnlyKnew

    IfTheyOnlyKnew VIP Extreme Gold

    Reputations:
    179,835
    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2013
    Messages:
    29,840
    Likes Received:
    73,948
    This thread is probably the closest I've ever been. :chair:
     
  8. Big Biscuit

    Big Biscuit Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    2,053
    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2012
    Messages:
    4,588
    Likes Received:
    5,293
    As a kid there were nuisance black bears in the national forest parks not far from where I lived, I remember chasing one with my uncle while banging a garbage can lid because he was interested in our barbeque. I would be scared shitless to do that now, but I thought it was great fun when I was 8. I'm kind of thinking my uncle was a drunk dumbfuck too.
     
  9. tv910

    tv910 Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    24
    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2011
    Messages:
    9,618
    Likes Received:
    17,986
    Funny you should ask, the online neighborhood bulletin board in my area has mentioned 2 bear sightings this week. One about 1.5 miles away from my house, another less than a quarter mile. Last week someone in another nearby town posted that a bear destroyed their chicken coop and killed their hens. Haven't seen any myself lately but in the past have had them walk through my yard and cross the road in front of my truck. Pretty impressive looking creatures.
     
  10. knu3421

    knu3421 Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2012
    Messages:
    22,801
    Likes Received:
    5,996
    who me?

    i watched bushwhacked with daniel stern that's as close as i got
     
    smichal and reno like this.
  11. TheMercenary

    TheMercenary Collecting Light

    Reputations:
    -3
    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2014
    Messages:
    10,812
    Likes Received:
    36,044
    Yeah I would shit, wind my watch, swallow it and shit it again if I saw that big Brown.

    I've seen 180lb black bears in mountains, but far off hiking trail.

    Big boy came into our camp last Fall and fucked up a big cooler someone left out.
     
  12. blackcrystal61

    blackcrystal61 Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    813
    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2014
    Messages:
    1,144
    Likes Received:
    2,248
    Ive seen bears at the zoo.. real close up.. but they are typically in an enclosure
     
    smichal and IfTheyOnlyKnew like this.
  13. R.P. McMurphy

    R.P. McMurphy Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2012
    Messages:
    41,581
    Likes Received:
    40,973
    ...when i was a little kid i got my pants leg stuck in the chain of my bike so my friend and i went to his house so his mom or grandmom could help me. so i go wheeling into the garage scooting along pushing with one leg and my friend goes inside to get help. during the process of me having to turn around to get the best working position to free my pant leg i saw this big fucking black bear, gut shot, hanging in the garage. i dont know how i didnt shit my pants but that thing scared the fuck out of me. this was in upstate ny. it could have been a bear cub but it still would have scared the hell out of me. :rofl:
     
  14. Slow

    Slow Just a gangster I suppose DawgShed News

    Reputations:
    189,006
    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2014
    Messages:
    19,724
    Likes Received:
    89,277
    I stayed a night in some hick ass town Cook City (population of 70 or so when not tourist season) Montana and had some beers with a local hick. He looked like randy quaid in national lampoons and told me if a bear chases you up a tree and kills you its a black bear. if a bear knocks your tree down and kills you it's a grizzly. I carried bear mace my whole trip like a true city slicker yankee. I heard of some old lady asian tourist getting gored by a bison right after I left. I was shocked to see the place flooded with little dinks taking pictures.

     
    zutroy, IfTheyOnlyKnew and basto like this.
  15. Turkeyneck

    Turkeyneck Howard's got one, not me VIP

    Reputations:
    13,183
    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2012
    Messages:
    3,949
    Likes Received:
    8,688
    a black bear rummaged through the garbage close to our campsite once as we slept. we bearly even noticed.
     
    IfTheyOnlyKnew likes this.
  16. babybear

    babybear r.i.p 8/3/15, Wherewolf of AZ VIP

    Reputations:
    37,766
    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2011
    Messages:
    21,196
    Likes Received:
    22,090
    I've had this Bear for 12 years.

    [​IMG]
     
  17. Jayla

    Jayla Ou ai-je l'esprit? Gold

    Reputations:
    132,533
    Joined:
    May 12, 2013
    Messages:
    32,967
    Likes Received:
    73,226
    When I was 16, I had a sleepover with a bunch of girlfriends. 2 of us stayed up all night talking and went for a bike ride right around sunrise. We were quite a ways down my long road when we decided we were too tired and should turn around and go back home. Boom. Bear up the road like maybe 50 feet from us, just standing there. Well, there was no way we were going to ride past that forest teddy, so we had no choice but to keep going the other way, which was about a 5 mile ride into town. I called my mother from a pay phone and told her she had to come pick us up. To this day, she still thinks we snuck out for shenanigans and blamed our predicament on an innocent bear.
     
  18. PropRmodulation

    PropRmodulation Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2014
    Messages:
    980
    Likes Received:
    2,477
    I was in Yellowstone last month. I saw a bear the first day but couldn't get close because of all the people there. I left the scene figuring I would see plenty of bear the rest of the week. Didn't she shit.

    You are right about the asian tourists. I had to yell at them a couple of times. They were walking out in the geyser fields to take selfies, touching the bacteria hot springs that have big "DO NOT TOUCH" signs. They generally think they own the place, very rude at the hotel breakfast buffet.
     
  19. Jayla

    Jayla Ou ai-je l'esprit? Gold

    Reputations:
    132,533
    Joined:
    May 12, 2013
    Messages:
    32,967
    Likes Received:
    73,226
    I'm in love.:wub:
     
  20. Rockside7

    Rockside7 VIP Extreme Gold

    Reputations:
    65,808
    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2014
    Messages:
    12,009
    Likes Received:
    25,770
    Up in the sierras, early May, camping in a cabin.

    The bears were coming out of hibernation and they were looking for easy food.

    We had fished all day and we came back to the cabin with a cooler full of trout.

    I set the cooler on the porch and went inside for a minute and when I opened the door to come back out, I was face to face with a black bear.

    We were both startled and I was about to slam the door shut but, he turned and ran away so I just watched him go.

    Later that evening, he came back by, probably looking for the trout but, we had already cooked and eaten them by then.
     
    blindbella, reno, Slow and 2 others like this.