What Was Your First Real Heartbreak?

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by HS Cult Leader, Sep 3, 2015.

  1. HS Cult Leader

    HS Cult Leader Elite Member Gold

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    Related to SummerSky's thread, how old were you and how bad was your first heartbreak?


    There was a guy that my dad work with, our families became friends. They had a daughter that was my age, she was a typical blond, blue eyed California girl and looked and was built like Hayden Panettiere. I liked her for years, but because we actually lived around 40 miles apart, we only saw each other occasionally. We would always talk on the phone and seemed to really know each other well. When I was about 13, I asked her on a date over the phone and really got up my nerve and decided I was going to ask her if we can go steady when I saw her?? Our parents agreed that we would meet on a Sunday morning at church and that she would go home with us for the day.

    I'm on cloud 9, we get to church and are seated a couple rows behind them, and for some reason she's there with some other kid. And during the service, he takes her hand crossed fingered. WHAT?? My heart was torn from my body! :eek: I could not believe after all our long talks, she never mentioned this kid, and then she brings him when she was going on a date with me. She came home with us and we went to the movies, but everything was spoiled as far as I was concerned. That night, I was crushed when I later found out that they had been together for a while. :(

    She soon became popular and had guys chasing her at her school, and I rarely saw her after that. I tried inviting her to a couple things and she always turned me down because she was always "busy", so I finally just moved on . When I was 17, my dad went to their house and came home and said that he was shocked beyond belief, she had blown up and doubled in size. He said she kept asking how I was and that she wanted to invite me to some activity. My mom was the one that first got pissed, she told me "hell with her", she played hard to get for years, now she's fat and alone and suddenly remembers you! She called over and over after that, not long after, I saw her myself, and my dad wasn't kidding! She looked like Gweneth Paltrow in the "Shallow Hal" fat suit. I know just because she's fat, that's no reason to shit on them, but I was older and was dating so I really had no time for her like she once had no time for me.
     
  2. HowieStearn

    HowieStearn HateClub

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  3. vaporizer

    vaporizer Well-Known Member

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    To eat?

    Fuck her. I don't even know you, but thrilled beyond belief for you that she turned into a total hog. I've had my share of bitches like that and I always relish the victory when they "lose their way".
     
  4. johnfreeman1

    johnfreeman1 Well-Known Member

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    Once dreamt about pizza, open fridge and no pizza
     
  5. EmperorsNewCaps

    EmperorsNewCaps Member

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    I think we're going to need an emo forum soon.
     
  6. TheMercenary

    TheMercenary Collecting Light Gold

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    :jj:

    image.jpg
     
  7. Mr Vengeance

    Mr Vengeance Ladies love cool V. VIP

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    Love at first sight when I was 14. 34 years later and she's still the only one I ever really wanted. I was always second best to others. She still turns to me when she's unhappy with her life, and I still am there for her, like a total faggot.......
     
  8. MyLazyHand

    MyLazyHand Russia and France Know What to Do

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    My theory (and reality) on girls/women: They shine extremely brightly at some point in their lives. That might be for a few months or a few years, but there is a time where they "peak" and they're the bomb.

    And then some fall off the cliff, and some just come back down to earth. But "normal" is usually a good distance away from the peak.

    Men don't typically age that way.
     
  9. Bristol Chicken

    Bristol Chicken Free Range and Loving It Gold

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    In my teens I completely fell for a coworker. She was a waitress. She was in the middle of a breakup with her boyfriend. Even though nothing happened between us right away, she knew I was nuts about her. All the guys at work were nuts about her.

    Fast forward to one of our frequent after work parties. I had cooled off on the girl thinking nothing was ever going to happen. I was actually starting up with a couple of other coworkers. Drinking, having a good time, I hooked up with one - dancing, making out on the couch. A little later I got up to go use the bathroom. Just as I'm closing the bathroom door behind me I feel a push on the door. In pops the hot 18 year old girl I have been madly in love with for some time. She closes the door behind her and we just stare at each other for a moment. She proceeds to tell me she is done with her boyfriend and ready to move on. We stared at each other a little longer then boom, I'm locked up tight with her having one of the best kisses and groping sessions I'll ever experience. Mind you I have some drunk girl waiting for me on the couch, there's another girl floating around that I was seriously interested in, then there was the girl of my dreams wrapped up with me alone in the bathroom. The start to our romance got cut off shortly because of the line to use the restroom. Leaving the party I had my arm around the drunk girl but I was stealthily holding hands with my love.

    I fell madly in love with this girl. We dated off and on over that summer. She lived some 20 miles from me so it wasn't always convenient to see her. I was writing her letters, sending flowers, doing all the cliché things to woo this chick. At some point it finally donned on me that she was pulling away and not as into me as I was into her. I hadn't seen her in a couple of weeks so I called and asked if I could stop by and see her. She said sure. I pull up to her house that evening and I recognize a car in her driveway. It's a coworker of mine. I knew the guy was after her. She had told me before she was not interested in the guy. Well here's his car in her driveway. I park down the street like a creeper waiting for the guy to leave. He leaves, I knock on the door and she lets me right in. I ask her about the coworker and she says he was just dropping off some sports equipment he borrowed or some shit. I let it go. We immediately go to the family room and get down to business. Her parents are gone. Her kid brother is lost upstairs somewhere. This is great. I'm in love with this chick, she is totally in to me right now. All is good.............then a knock on the door. She jumps up like she is expecting someone. She opens the door and in walks her ex boyfriend. What the fuck? He gives me the stink eye. I give it right back. She looks at him. She looks at me then politely asks me to leave. I'm out, no problem.

    I'm walking back to my car trying to process everything. In less than an hours time this chick has 3 guys over to her house. I'm madly in love with her and she can't go 5 minutes without sucking someone's face and and getting a work over. I felt like a fool and I definitely sulked about it for some time. 20/20 hindsight I should have just nailed her in the bathroom that first night and called it good.

    I did have my heart ripped out several years later. 1st and last time that will happen. Story for another day.

    Note to the young people - If you have trouble meeting people and want some action, get a job at a restaurant. Preferably one with a bar. It's like a non stop party before, during and after work.
     
  10. Outoftune

    Outoftune Well-Known Member

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    Same here except mine totally lost her mind due to circumstances, she is suffering from psychosis, some really heavy shit. But we still communicate, every time she get's lonely or has issues with her boyfriend she get's in touch with me and i still try to help. We are assholes.
     
  11. SouthernListen

    SouthernListen I don't follow the crowd. Sorry about that. VIP

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    Did her kisses taste a little salty, by chance?
     
  12. Outoftune

    Outoftune Well-Known Member

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    Great story. Although at the beginning i already knew she would use you and get back at her ex. You probably should've just used her and after that tell her to fuck off. Moral of this story is that most women are pure fucking evil. I really want to know what it is exactly that makes women turn into ravaging whores as soon they have broken up a relationship.
     
  13. Outoftune

    Outoftune Well-Known Member

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    Hahaha that is evil. Sometimes you are such a likeable asshole.
     
  14. Cinnaminion

    Cinnaminion All Shadowy Light Gold

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    Oh come on, like dudes don't totally run out and fuck any available hole after a break up too.:rolleyes:
    A little strange is like a fifth of vodka for a broken heart.
     
  15. TheSurvivingJesusTwin

    TheSurvivingJesusTwin Half as ubiquitous

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    Return of the Jedi was my first real heartbreak.
     
  16. asiwouldsay

    asiwouldsay Well-Known Member

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    Yeah, like I want to explain this in detail to the people of the Shed.
     
    IfTheyOnlyKnew likes this.
  17. EmperorsNewCaps

    EmperorsNewCaps Member

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    The difference is the male's version of strange is usually legitimately random, whereas the female's concept of "strange" is almost always tactical and pre-selected. The "bull pen" theory.
     
  18. Cinnaminion

    Cinnaminion All Shadowy Light Gold

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    Very true.
    Comfort dick needs to be comfortable for certain. No room for the risk that comes with random.

    Now that I think about it, lots of women have a ''bull pen''.
    I'm stealing that term. :cool:
     
  19. EmperorsNewCaps

    EmperorsNewCaps Member

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    *all women

    and I already stole it from circa 1997-2003 Loveline.
     
  20. Bristol Chicken

    Bristol Chicken Free Range and Loving It Gold

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    Don't recall her kisses tasting different, but she was sporting a new hairdo.

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