What would you write in AnimalGod's Obituary?

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by XuXu, Apr 16, 2015.

  1. XuXu

    XuXu VIP Extreme Gold

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    A lot of the AG regulars are pretty convinced it won't be much longer now, so I thought maybe we should prepare something to give to his family, being as the message boards have been such a big part of his life. I'm sure he wouldn't want all of his accomplishments here to go unmentioned.
     
  2. Mack

    Mack Well-Known Member VIP

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    He'll be curb stompin' haters from heaven. :pray:
     
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  3. Lemmy

    Lemmy Douchebag Extraordinaire Gold

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    Blank.
     
  4. Anfkid

    Anfkid Blue Banner Mafia Staff Member

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    Fat fucks like him live forever. Look at High Pitch. I thought he would be dead in the 90's. He just finally got the beetus last fall.

    All those layers of fat keeps every disease and illness at bay. One day a single germ will tunnel it's way in and BAAM! He's gonna get every disease at once.
     
  5. Cheri

    Cheri Skunk VIP

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    Hopefully they discover his fat stank corpse before it blows up like this whale

     
  6. nfbuckeye

    nfbuckeye Beam me up, Mr. Speaker. VIP

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    A giant among men, felled by a goddamned carbuncle.
     
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  7. banksy

    banksy Hey. You ugly. You yo daddy's son. VIP

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    Dan's enormous pants will be removed during the viewing so the haters may lick them one last time.
     
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  8. Chriza

    Chriza The One Man Gangbang VIP

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    Fat.

    Stinky.

    Way into the Internet.

    Died of nutsack infection.

    Dinkus fucked him in all his butts.

    RIP
     
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  9. Anfkid

    Anfkid Blue Banner Mafia Staff Member

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    ALL :jj:
     
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  10. BLOW ME

    BLOW ME Well-Known Member

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    Read the thread, he's being attacked by subterranean furuncles from the inside out. He'll be on the kidney list soon.
     
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  11. Anfkid

    Anfkid Blue Banner Mafia Staff Member

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    He won't be eligible. You can't have a BMI past 26.
     
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  12. banksy

    banksy Hey. You ugly. You yo daddy's son. VIP

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    In lieu of flowers, Dan's family requests that friends send money to help cover the hazardous waste disposal fees incurred in emptying Dan's hovel.

    And weed.
     
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  13. Nantrax

    Nantrax Well-Known Member VIP Gold

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    Hazardous waste disposal

    :lol: :spit:
     
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  14. Gitfiddle

    Gitfiddle Live Deliciously

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  15. Stew Nod

    Stew Nod Hello VIP

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    lol
     
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  16. Ferris Bueller

    Ferris Bueller floating around

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    THANK GOD
     
  17. banksy

    banksy Hey. You ugly. You yo daddy's son. VIP

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    There will be a viewing this Saturday at 9am where view to post ratios will be fondly remembered.
     
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  18. Bubbleguts420

    Bubbleguts420 2 word review, shit sandwich

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    ......he is proceeded in death by Roadside Crappy Pappy, Geneva, Cole Story and the drivers seat of his last 3 vehicles.
     
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  19. Shart Garfunkel

    Shart Garfunkel I brought the magic suitcase Gold

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    Daniel "AnimalGod" Mehlhorn succumbed to festering furuncle disease at Suite 1, near Many Lakes and Mansions, Michigan. Mehlhorn, a self-anointed internet celebrity, Dungeons and Dragons aficionado and convicted felon, was found dead with his Crisco encased fingers fused to a computer keyboard.
    A double leg amputee, Mehlhorn was known for his predatory behavior toward down on their luck crackwhores, his horrible personal hygiene and his general lack of any moral or ethical standards. He leaves behind many fictional girlfriends, some alleged family members and a number of mangy cats. Visitation will be at Suite 1, followed by burial at the Oakland County landfill. A luncheon will follow at the nearest Chinese buffet. In lieu of flowers, the cats have asked that donations be made to Dawgshed.com. :rip2:
     
  20. Shivvy

    Shivvy Well-Known Member Banned User

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    Owned the internet