whats the funniest or most humiliating thing that ever happened to you?

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by cetiya, May 22, 2015.

  1. cetiya

    cetiya Lunatic VIP

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    My best friend reminded me of this last month, and I'd like to hear other peoples moments, we all have one! Howard related because everything he does is an embarrassment!

    So my bff and I were sitting in our councillors office. I farted. Twice. We break out into hysterical laughter. I found out that day I have stress incontinence the hard way. I started to pee and pee. That made us laugh even harder. i filled the chair and it overflowed onto the floor, rivers of pee on the floor. Finally we stop and she went to a lady behind a desk who didn't know what happened. Leslie asked for some towels because her friend had an accident. The lady asked her what kind of accident? Leslie points at me looking pitiful. While the lady went to get the paper towels, our councillor came out of his office. He looks at me. Looks at the floor and looks back up at me. Doesn't say a word, just went back into his office. That was the start of a nightmare for me, leslie and I were always laughing so I got sent home frequently to change clothes. Its kinda sad, I never laugh that hard anymore!
     
  2. LaserT

    LaserT You have to have fun. Gold

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    A few years back I was at church for a friends father's funeral and was hungover because I was at a party for an engagement the night before. So I had my back up against the side wall as the place was packed and I just keep sliding down as people piled in. Little did I know there was the confessionals with just the red cloth curtains covering them. I had no idea, so as I'm sliding against the wall half asleep, I fall RIGHT THROUGH THE CURTAIN! I hit the confessional box hard and knock the confessional bench apart and the noise was so loud the whole place stopped and turned according to my girlfriend at the time. I get myself up and come out and peoples necks were swollen from trying to hold in their laughs. FUCKING BRUTAL! :oops:


    It was something like these that lines the sides of the church outside of the pews....


    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: May 22, 2015
  3. BringBackJackie

    BringBackJackie Well-Known Member Banned User

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    When I was about six years old, I was walking to school with friends. A bird had built a nest on top of a light pole. I shimmied up the pole to get a better look, touched the nest, and it tipped over. Two eggs broke on my shoulder. My shirt was covered with baby yolk and I had to go to school and endure "baby bird killer" comments for the day.
     
  4. meanredhed

    meanredhed Well-Known Member VIP Gold

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    A couple years ago I took a nasty rooster from my neighbour to put with my hens because I didn't believe her when she said he was dangerous. One day I went out to the barn to get some wood for the wood stove and the fucker started chasing me. He was vicious!! I went into the garage and found the sword and shield my son made just the day before out of leftover wood. I wasn't about to let a rooster push me around so I went after him using this sword and shield. I got a few good hits in. Then one of my neighbours honked their horn and waved as they drove by......
     
  5. babybear

    babybear r.i.p 8/3/15, Wherewolf of AZ VIP

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    my buddys grandmom had a wooden outhouse on her property that was no longer in use.
    we were curious to look inside and we did,the doors closes and we couldn't get out.we started screaming and lucky his uncle heard us
    and opened the door.guess that was around 1960 or so.
    what dorks.
     
  6. TheMercenary

    TheMercenary Collecting Light Gold

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    "Honk the bloody horn, Reginald, but drive on. She's gotten into the sherry again"

    image.jpg
     
  7. A. Genius

    A. Genius Well-Known Member Banned User

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    Too many, but here's one. 13 years old and a freshman. English class. Seated alphabetically. Luckily I was seated between 2 cuties. So, after a couple weeks, I'm getting along very well with the blonde chic, Shauna, and decide that I want to 'date' her. One day after school, I get home and look her up in the phonebook. Nervous as fuck, I call and someone answers and I ask if Shauna is there. Feels like hours go by and she finally picks up the phone. 'Hey, Shauna, it's A Genius from English class. I was thinking that maybe we could go to the movies Saturday.' She says, 'Is this a joke or something? No way, I barely know you. How did you get my number?!?!' I shrunk and hung up. I'm sure I didn't sleep that night. So, the next morning I dread going to school more than usual and that English class is the first of the day at 7:35. When I get to the class, every fucking chic was looking at me and the 2 I sat between are huddled up and laughing at me. Man, that was awful. The best part is that I only had to sit between them for the rest of fall semester. Late September until Christmas break. High school social life worked out well, after about a year. End humiliation.
     
  8. meanredhed

    meanredhed Well-Known Member VIP Gold

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    :spit::backlol:
     
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  9. max rockatansky

    max rockatansky I'm just here for the gasoline Gold

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    I had gotten a vasectomy and a few months later I had to drop off a sample at the lab to make sure I was in the clear. This was a lab at big Kaiser Permanente facility so there were lots of staff behind the counter and a room full of people there for tests. Fortunately I had been given a nice bag to carry the plastic jar with the sample in so it was less embarrassing walking around with it. So when it is my turn at the counter I walk up and set the bag on the counter and say to the cute nurse that I need to drop off a sample for my doctor (trying to be discrete). She asks what is it? Still trying to be discrete I say it is a sample for my urologist. At this time another nurse comes over to see what is going on and the people in line behind me are starting to focus in on the situation. Noticeably louder, the nurse asks again what is it? At the same time nurse #2 starts reaching into the bag. I take a look around the room to see everyone staring at me. I clear my throat and loudly exclaim "It is my finest work" just as nurse #2 pulls the jar out of the bag and loudly say "it's a semen sample!". I turn around, raise my arms in victory and leave the room full of laughing people.
     
  10. Splash

    Splash Huge Member VIP

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    You're gross
     
  11. LaserT

    LaserT You have to have fun. Gold

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    You should not be embarrassed. I would've never looked up her number and called when I was that age. You manned up and called her. That's awesome! I know it's embarrassing they way it turned out, but you went after her calling her home for a date at that young age. That's balls! You rock!
     
  12. GLguygardner

    GLguygardner WE DA BEST!! VIP Gold

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    @wife is a whore
    :jackoff:
     
  13. cetiya

    cetiya Lunatic VIP

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    That's so true! I was just writing notes and sticking them in their lockers, anonymously!
     
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  14. Skipnoid

    Skipnoid Lick Me!

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    :spit:
     
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  15. Skipnoid

    Skipnoid Lick Me!

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    Now that had to be hysterical ... The cock fighting red head of Canada! :D
     
  16. Newly OBrien

    Newly OBrien Well-Known Member

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    During Basic Training one of the Drill Sergeants asked if anyone had NOT heard the Star Spangled Banner. I heard "who had heard the Star Spangled Banner" (sleep deprived) and raised my hand. I soon realized I was the only one with my hand raised. The DS had a field day- "Are you from Fucking Mars" etc. it went on for 20 mins.

    At a conference plenary our ED had the crowd of ~400 people sing Happy Birthday to me. For the next three days everyone I saw said Happy Birthday (or belated Birthday). I was a researcher, copywriter, speechwriter, ... I did everything to avoid the spotlight. It was torture just having to stand, move to the center of the stage and thank everyone.

    Too many to list. My life has been measured by the short periods of down time between embarrassing moments.
     
  17. A. Genius

    A. Genius Well-Known Member Banned User

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    I learned so much from that incident. What's more, I was able to apply what I learned to stage quite a comeback sophomore year. You have to be low to appreciate the high. I'm aware of guys who allowed these types of incidents to ruin any hope of getting chics until college or later. Can't really even offer them advice. Howard strikes me as one of those guys.
     
  18. LaserT

    LaserT You have to have fun. Gold

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    :snicker: Me too, when I was that age. It's tough when you're a kid.
     
  19. Caffeinated

    Caffeinated Well-Known Member

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    I think my entire adolescence was one, big embarrassment or humiliation. Where do I start? Sheesh. :snicker:
     
  20. DinnerSocks

    DinnerSocks Well-Known Member

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    @HockT will like this.

    When I was in college in 1999, I played on the Club Roller Hockey Team. Once a month we would travel to a different city and play 4 games against other colleges from the North East, this particular month we were traveling from our Western PA school all the way to Long Island. We had to transport ourselves, we didn't have any money for buses. I was traveling in a car with 2 other guys and we got lost. What should have been a 7 hour trip turned into a 12 hour trip. While we were in the car, we all talked about how drunk we were going to get once we finally found our hotel in Huntington, NY. Well, needless to say, we finally found our hotel, in which the rest of the team was already staying, and I was the only one to actually get DRUNK. I drank almost a whole fifth of Jack Daniels in only a few hours.

    Our first game was at 8 AM the next day, I was still drunk when I woke up at 6 AM. One of the guys who rode up from PA with me advised me to "just stay in bed", I promptly told him "...go fuck yourself, I'm playing!" in my drunken stupor. When we arrived at the rink for our game, I was so drunk that I ended up going into a different team's locker room to get dressed! My teammates eventually found me and guided me to the rink where our game was being played. I fell on my face several times during warm ups. The referee took so much notice to my activity that he told my coach that if I set one foot on the rink we would forfeit the game! I ended up sitting on the bench and cheering for my team NON-STOP for the entire game, which for me only seemed to last 5-10 minutes. We eventually lost the game. I was under 21 at the time. When we returned from the weekends games I was told that I had to attend "mandatory alcohol awareness classes" and be evaluated by a Drug and Alcohol counselor.

    Although the Drug and Alcohol counselor was probably 27-28 at the time and REALLY sexy, that wasn't enough to make it worth while. Our team would eventually make it all the way to the Nationals but I would still be reminded of that incident by everyone who was there until the end of the season. I'm positive that if anyone from that team heard my name, they would IMMEDIATELY think of that incident of mine first.