When I shake hands with an authentic retard.....

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Lemmy, Jul 4, 2014.

  1. Lemmy

    Lemmy Douchebag Extraordinaire Gold

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    ........I always assume they have poop in their hands. It sucks when I don't have hand sanitizer close by. :eek:
     
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  2. jdwhatever

    jdwhatever Fesh Gold

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    Why are u shaking retards hands.
     
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  3. LonghornJ

    LonghornJ VIP Extreme Gold

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    Why the hell would you do that?
     
  4. Harry Gibbs

    Harry Gibbs the boss of all men

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    i only like the authentic retards. the disingenuous ones are total faggits.
     
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  5. jdwhatever

    jdwhatever Fesh Gold

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  6. Harry Gibbs

    Harry Gibbs the boss of all men

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    when my pts want to shake hands with me i tell them i don't shake hands b/c it's flu season (when it is) or else i do a terrorist fist bump instead.
     
  7. LonghornJ

    LonghornJ VIP Extreme Gold

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    Always trying to up charge you on plastic vacuum parts
     
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  8. Lemmy

    Lemmy Douchebag Extraordinaire Gold

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    When I am in uniform and they walk up to me I don't want to be rude. I don't care what they think since they don't count but their "handlers" would think less of me. :eek:
     
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  9. Harry Gibbs

    Harry Gibbs the boss of all men

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    fist bumps, dude. works like a charm and the retards get a real kick out of it. they think they're cool or something.
     
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  10. Lemmy

    Lemmy Douchebag Extraordinaire Gold

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    I've tried that......sometimes they go all old school on me.
     
  11. Harry Gibbs

    Harry Gibbs the boss of all men

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    you need to take control of the situation. if all else fails, just tell them over and over "stop resisting! stop resisting!"
     
  12. Lemmy

    Lemmy Douchebag Extraordinaire Gold

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    They outsmart me and I am afraid of their 'tard strength. :chair:
     
  13. LonghornJ

    LonghornJ VIP Extreme Gold

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    $10 says macing a tard is on Lemmy's bucket list
     
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  14. Harry Gibbs

    Harry Gibbs the boss of all men

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    or a good tard tasering.
     
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  15. artiesoffspring

    artiesoffspring Hugs and kisses

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    Lol @ handlers.
     
  16. nfbuckeye

    nfbuckeye Beam me up, Mr. Speaker. VIP

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  17. LonghornJ

    LonghornJ VIP Extreme Gold

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    Man that would be hilarious... the tard would seize up and shake and then fall over.

    What if the tard was a midget too? It'd be like knocking over a drooling bowling pin.
     
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  18. SIPAWITZ

    SIPAWITZ Bialy Whore Banned User

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    I've told this story before...we have a kid in the neighborhood called "champy" he's a downs syndrome kid about 12

    So one day his mother and him are hobbling toward me and I said hi champy and went shake is hand....as we shook he leaned down and bit my hand .

    His mother rushed him off with a constant barrage of "I'm so sorry"

    He didn't beak the skin and I felt bad mother who has to deal with him everyday

    But anytime I see him now it's hello and that's it!
     
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  19. LonghornJ

    LonghornJ VIP Extreme Gold

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    More like "chompy" amirite??!? :c
     
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  20. Lemmy

    Lemmy Douchebag Extraordinaire Gold

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    :owned:


    :eek: