When you pass wind, what percentage of the time do you open your butt to volumize the sound?

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Phan Neepack, Feb 6, 2015.

  1. Phan Neepack

    Phan Neepack Well-Known Member

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    ... And how often do Palm-bomb yourself after you've volumized?

    Your candidness is appreciated :hat:
     
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  2. Gomez

    Gomez Well-Known Member

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    Splashwut
     
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  3. Phan Neepack

    Phan Neepack Well-Known Member

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    That is not a word
     
  4. BaddFunn

    BaddFunn Kick ass fuck yeah VIP

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    I clench down to dry to make as high a pitch as possible. sometimes it even vibrates like a tuning fork and tickles a bit.
     
  5. jdwhatever

    jdwhatever Fesh Gold

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    [​IMG]
     
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  6. Rod-Stroker

    Rod-Stroker Streptococcus Gingivitis Halllllllllllllitosis

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    How much of your thought process went into making this shit thread and did you proof read the premise ?
     
  7. Cheri

    Cheri Skunk VIP

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    When I was pretty young, I had a boyfriend who loved to fart. He seemed to take great joy in causing gaseous emissions. He would call me over to enjoy his tonal quality and the musky fecal scent. Thankfully my husband is not gassy, and when he is he doesnt draw attention to it (for the most part).
     
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  8. A Succulent Chinese Meal

    A Succulent Chinese Meal Oh, that's a nice headlock, sir. VIP

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    If you pull your butt cheeks apart wouldn't that make it less loud? The sound only comes from the cheeks rhythmically slapping.
     
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  9. Benham

    Benham Still Better Than You

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    it's like a wind instrument orchestra here every morning.
     
  10. Avery

    Avery Well-Known Member Banned User

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  11. Dick Fitzwell

    Dick Fitzwell Opinions are like assholes ... and so am I

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    I farted once in church on the wooden pew .... the blast stopped the pastor mid-sermon and punched my ticket to hell.
     
  12. DarkFriday

    DarkFriday Fired as a MOD...Twice. Gold

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    This guy gets it
     
  13. Cheri

    Cheri Skunk VIP

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    Yesterday I had to take my older dog to the liver specialist. We were there six hours doing tests. On the way home, I heard a little squeek, then a vile, horrible wind from the bowels of hell enveloped me. I looked at the rear view mirror, and caught the evil glint in her eye. That was her revenge on me.
     
  14. DrSublux

    DrSublux Who am dis VIP

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    why did you break up with me then? Was it the request for painal?
     
  15. Phan Neepack

    Phan Neepack Well-Known Member

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    Try opening yor buttocks next time you pass wind.
     
  16. Chrisboom

    Chrisboom Well-Known Member

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    Farts = Homo mating call
     
  17. Phan Neepack

    Phan Neepack Well-Known Member

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    There are no errors in the premise... It is succinct and concise. You should redirect your concern to that deplorable run-on sentence of yours, Corky.
     
  18. RenchFries

    RenchFries Official Dawgshed Dutch representative Gold

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    When I'm drunk, I enjoy making it louder.
     
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  19. goldtopper

    goldtopper Well Known Heterosexual Gold

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    When I shower. It reverberates incredibly.
    The bad thing is that steamy showers take a tame fart and transform it into a killah.
     
  20. GoshGeeGolly

    GoshGeeGolly Well-Known Member VIP Gold

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    silent but deadly is the way to go