Intoxicated air traffic controller found shirtless, unconscious on floor of control tower By Jelisa Castrodale July 20, 2015 10:15 am Photo: Jim Howard/Flickr OK, raise your hand if you’ve ever had the kind of night out that stretches into the next morning, the kind where you don’t greet the new day as much as you just try not to barf on its shoes? And keep those hands up if you’ve ever stumbled into work still drunk, taken your shirt off and then passed out facedown in your own office? Just you, Philip Maschek? The 50-year-old Arkansas air traffic controller was arrested after one of his coworkers found him unconscious on the floor of the control tower at the Springdale Municipal Airport last Thursday morning (the police report says he was found “passed out in his chair with his shirt off” – either way, it’s not good). Maschek was discovered at 7:45 a.m. after a pilot who was waiting for clearance to take off couldn’t get any response from the tower. He had reportedly been on duty – well, so to speak – since 6 a.m. that morning. According to Arkansas Online, when officers arrived, Maschek denied that he was drunk and denied a Breathalyzer test (but he did fail a field sobriety test and was so unsteady on his feet that he wasn’t allowed to climb down the ladder so he could leave the tower). He also reportedly argued with officers about the “public” part of “public intoxication.” Dude. DUDE. Semantics seem to be the least of your problems, especially since the police report noted that you were wearing “a black robe and house shoes” when you were arrested AT WORK. The FAA and Robinson Aviation, the contracting company that employs Maschek, both plan to investigate the incident. According to FAA policy, an air traffic controller “can be removed from work” for a blood alcohol content that is more than .02%, a number that is well below the .08% limit for driving. That’s probably also below the threshold for pulling your shirt off and passing out on the carpet.