I met a girl from an online dating site a few days ago, and we had sex. She's 39 and originally from South America, but seriously had an insane hot body and could pass as mid 20's. We were originally going to meet at a bar or something, but she said she was home alone and wanted me to come over. Of course, I obliged. After getting drunk and talking a bit, it was clear she wanted to fuck. I was extremely nervous and hesitant, but I wasn't about to turn down sex (2 years+ dry dammit). Que awkward conversation, starting with her: Her: "So...do you want to try?" Me: "Ummm...yeah" Her: "It sounds like maybe you don't want to? I don't want you to do anything you don't want to do" Me: "Nono, I do want to." Her: "Ok are you sure?" Me: "Yes" Her: "Ok...How do we start?" Me: "I don't know..." Her: "Do you want me to turn down the lights?" Me: "Sure" *she turns off all the lights* Her: "How's that?" Me: "Hm maybe a bit much" *she turns down the music* Me: "Nono, the music was fine" Her: "oh, you just fix the music and lights as you want so you're comfortable" *I turn the music up a bit again* ..we start making out. It started off OK, but I quickly realized how extremely experienced she was, and how extremely inexperienced I was. She was telling me to do this and that, fuck her from behind, lay down, get blown, etc. I felt way out of my comfort zone, and had no idea what I was doing. It hit me that I wasn't good enough. I felt ashamed, and suddenly wasn't digging it so much. It was really hard, because my mind was screaming at me that I was doing a terrible job and I should feel bad. We had sex for I don't know how long, and I ran out afterwards to catch the last bus home. I think she wanted me to spend the night for god knows what reason, but I felt that was a privilege I hadn't earned. If I had fucked her good and hard and left her pussy ravaged and body exhausted, then I could have slept there like a king. But I felt like a jester. I texted her when I got home and said something like "Im home thanks for tonight I had a lot of fun hope to see you again" and got a reply the next morning (this saturday). I still haven't looked at the message. I'm too afraid to face the harsh truth, that she will say something like "sorry garypagetwo I don't think it will work out between us", and I know it's because I was so terrible and awkward in bed. I mean we spoke for like 2 hours before having sex, so I know my face and personality got the green light. So the text has been on my phone for 2 days now. Every time I think about checking it, I chicken out. It's guaranteed bad news, and maybe it's best I just move forward and pretend it never happened.