Why is Stern's only release according yo him porn? Why not his wife? is it by appt or quota?

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by tired, Jun 7, 2015.

  1. tired

    tired Well-Known Member VIP Gold

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    I mean what the hell? He said exactly, that every time he gets Horny he has to watch porn. Every time! Not once did he say or imply that he could fuck or get a blow job or any sort of release from beth. only porn.
     
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  2. BeerCanThick

    BeerCanThick Well-Known Member

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    He gets 14.3 minutes or until orgasm, whichever comes first, of missionary position sex, no kissing, with the lights off and through a hole in the sheet, every fiscal quarter.
     
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  3. ilovebacon

    ilovebacon Well-Known Member VIP

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    They have to be in the same city in order for something to happen :grad:
     
  4. Shortwave98

    Shortwave98 A-Number 1 Banned User

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    Beth is just for show, not for go.
     
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  5. Captain

    Captain Alto, Blanco y Guapo Gold

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    Beth is just too large, even for a power bottom like Howard. :c
     
  6. Drungle

    Drungle BADSTREET USA Gold

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    He watches he/she porn. Beth can't compete with that. Oh, wait...nevermind.
     
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  7. HypocriteHowie

    HypocriteHowie VIP Extreme Gold

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    He doesn't have an agreement with a sex clause in it with porn.
     
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  8. Pooh bear

    Pooh bear Well-Known Member VIP

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    Can I just say....I was looking at youporn a few days ago and nothing turned me on....so boring, unnatural and derivative ...
    Give me the real thing anyday!
     
  9. Roberticus

    Roberticus Well-Known Member

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    If Howard said it out loud, then odds are it's a lie.
     
  10. A. Genius

    A. Genius Well-Known Member Banned User

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    He says he has to go to youporn specifically. Just a commercial.
     
  11. Bentknee

    Bentknee Well-Known Member

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    because he thinks that vaginas are yucky and Beth thinks that blow jobs are demeaning
     
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  12. HorseFanNetwork

    HorseFanNetwork Well-Known Member

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    "robin,i watch youporn,while eating donkey donuts and drinking snapple because beth cant keep up with me.i wake up fuck beth, come here,then back home to fuck beth for the next 17 hours. its a whole thing robin. i give her a few days off so she can ice her mons vernus down. then i watch youporn on my apple computer. ah love my apple laptop, donkey donuts,and snapple."
     
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  13. Bob Loblaw

    Bob Loblaw Well-Known Member

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  14. Zelda

    Zelda Legit Boss

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    He said a few weeks ago that Beth said alot of people are always telling her how much he says air how much porn he watches. He said he told her that he doesn't watch that much, that he just wants to able relate to his fans. I find this crazy. NOTHING he says is relatable. He acts like an old whiny grandma that is obsessed with dicks and over analyzing people with his neurtoticness. I can't think of one thing that anyone would able to relate to.

    Then again, he's a liar.
     
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  15. Mugsy

    Mugsy Well-Known Member

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    Because he's sat in his room and jacked off so much that he's only comfortable with the vision of porn, and his own touch....
     
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  16. BethSucks

    BethSucks Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Because he's gay
     
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  17. Calloused Shins

    Calloused Shins Well-Known Member

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    Do you take every fuckin word, you ever hear, literally??
     
  18. meanredhed

    meanredhed Well-Known Member VIP Gold

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    Have a good look at both of those messes. Who would touch either one without fear of something falling off, falling out, becoming un-duct taped, etc....yuck
     
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  19. Dlist

    Dlist Well-Known Member VIP

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    When I hear Howard talking about sex with Beff...I have to say.. as a woman...he sounds very fake...

    "Robin...she just wants me to get on top and it is over in 2 minutes.." :facepalm:....yes those are fine once in awhile but the norm???? Uh NO.
     
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  20. OV

    OV Rapscallion

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    Because there's a missing element:

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