without even trying... I've 1 upped you. mooose

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by monsoon, Mar 22, 2015.

  1. monsoon

    monsoon Who are you with?

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    A giant hawk or something similar flew into these giants sheets of mirrored glass I had.
    It was out. So I carefully picked it up in a towel and put it in a box and raced like hell to the emergency vets.
    Of course its Sunday. The raptor and seabird rescue is closed along with everything else. Everyone knows animals only get hurt from 9-5 m-f.

    I'm waiting for them to diagnose the poor thing. I hope it doesn't have to be euthanized. This thing was huge.

    Anyway my point is

    FUCK YOU MOOSE...I WENT IN MY FUCKING PAJAMAS REEKING LIKE HASH.

    No photoshoot. No party for me. No awards.

    I'd do anything right now to save that bird. Please everyone ask your reigning diety to help.
    Its a bitching bird.

    F mutt
     
  2. N Copter

    N Copter Shot Dead Banned User

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    Talk more about your PJs and the smell of hash.
     
  3. Vinegarette

    Vinegarette Don't Believe What You Hear

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    But you don't take in completely healthy kittens into your mansions ... and then find them their forever homes after a grueling few weeks.

    You'll just never understand.

    :facepalm:
     
  4. crazypreacher

    crazypreacher Hey yo

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    Be sure to thank the bird after.
     
  5. Tinman

    Tinman Well-Known Member

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    Okay, take a deep breath, relax and tell us what the bird looks like and how we can help.
     
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  6. monsoon

    monsoon Who are you with?

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    They just told me its awake and has its wings up. Its got blood in its eyes so they are taking it somewhere else. Its a common hawk. The vet says it looks pretty good.

    It hit the glass hard and was completely out.

    This place sucks. I'm glad the bird has a specialist coming for it.

    F mutt
     
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  7. jubal714

    jubal714 Well-Known Member VIP

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    You didn't run to your NY penthouse and retrieve rescue kit like the amaaaaaazing Beefus???? I hope it (the bird not the horse) survives. Hope someone tweets this thread to the Wonky Wonder.
     
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  8. monsoon

    monsoon Who are you with?

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    Its beak is fucked up. But the wings are OK. It might have a head injury.
    Its a common brown hawk. The vet just basically told me its all my fault.
    I keep fish and bullfrog ponds and the bird was hunting and flew into the glass.

    Fucker. But he's right. This isn't the first bird to do this.


    F mutt
     
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  9. tv910

    tv910 Well-Known Member

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    Hope your bird recovers. I once took care of 3 baby robins who fell out of their nest until they were old enough to fly (about 2 weeks). It was a lot of work but I missed having them around after they left. Many people who post here have done similar things without making public announcements and expecting to be nominated for sainthood, that's one of the main things that pisses me off about Beth.
     
  10. UpInSmoke123

    UpInSmoke123 Well-Known Member

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    You have bullfrog ponds in your home?
     
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  11. tv910

    tv910 Well-Known Member

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    If the beak is just cracked they might be able to super-glue it. I know of a crow that had that done and recovered.
     
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  12. Tinman

    Tinman Well-Known Member

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    I was working at a College that had a lot of mirrored glass on it's buildings and they were finding dead birds everyday, so they put these stickers on all the windows.
    It didn't stop all the strikes but the numbers went down significantly.

    [​IMG]

    http://eartheasy.com/blog/2010/02/9-ways-to-help-birds-avoid-window-collisions/
     
    Last edited: Mar 22, 2015
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  13. Dorb

    Dorb Lovable Old Pig VIP Gold

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    Kill a hawk, save a thousand other birds of other species.
    Gotta have some perspective here.
    Hawk tore apart a couple of doves near my house a few years ago.
     
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  14. Vinegarette

    Vinegarette Don't Believe What You Hear

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    If you haven't already seen it:

    http://m.humanesociety.org/animals/resources/tips/bird_safe_windows.html

    image.jpg
     
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  15. monsoon

    monsoon Who are you with?

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    Yeah. I keep my ponds natural. This always makes people laugh at me. I buy bullfrog tadpoles from the fish store. They're $3 a piece. Most don't make it cuz they have weird diseases. They are feeders. But the ones that make it get huge. I have egret and cranes in my backyard all the time.
    My yard attracts any wildlife in the area b\c there's no where else really.

    I'm going to take a sledgehammer to that fucking glass.

    F mutt
     
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  16. Afganistand

    Afganistand Motivationally Deficient VIP

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    Careful, we don't want an angry moose crashing thru monsoon's plate glass window in search of revenge, hash, and PJs
     
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  17. Jayla

    Jayla Ou ai-je l'esprit? Gold

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    This. :munch:
     
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  18. monsoon

    monsoon Who are you with?

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    I couldn't have been anymore stoned. Of course.
    Last nights make up. At least I got cute jammies on.
    Fuck.

    F mutt
     
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  19. Engaged Chicken

    Engaged Chicken VIP Extreme Gold

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    When you go to pick it up, video it and ask if it's a boy or a girl. Don't forget to pack a rubbermaid airless tote with a lid to put it in. Then take him/her to the beach and try to remember how the lid comes off. Wear your stupidest looking knit hat while doing all of the above.
     
  20. Big Bad Booey

    Big Bad Booey Well-Known Member

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    Where's the fucking picture!
     
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