Woman masturbating while driving crashes into FISH truck

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by Caffeinated, Jul 13, 2015.

  1. Caffeinated

    Caffeinated Well-Known Member

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    Woman Crashes Car Due to Furious Masturbation During Traffic Jam

    Masturbation: It’s dangerous and will likely kill you, if you’re masturbating in the comforts of the open road with a rabbit vibe while a seafood truck is careening towards you.

    That’s all laid out in a recent news item about a woman who was living her best life, until she wasn’t. According to The Bristol Post, an unidentified woman crashed her Mini Cooper into a seafood delivery vehicle when she took her eyes off the road due to the pleasures she was receiving in her genital region. The Post reports that the driver of the seafood truck was worried he might be fired for the crash; it was, remarkably, his first day on the job after not being able to find work for a very long time.

    Fortunately for the driver, but not so fortunately for the woman you’re reading about, his bosses only had one thing to ask him: Did you see the video?

    The seafood truck, as it happened, was equipped with a rear camera, and its unblinking eye caught everything, including the woman’s public indiscretions. In fact, what was caught on the video was so damning that Bro Bible suspects that the woman was not opposed to others seeing her, citing the fact that Mini Coopers are very low to the ground, and anyone driving a truck or a higher-sitting car would have been able to watch the woman going at it with reckless abandon.

    Luckily, no one was hurt during the incident and the case is now with the seafood company’s insurance company. The company’s not commenting on the situation, but sources have reported that the accident happened during a traffic jam, and the vibrator is alleged to have been “rabbit-style.”

    This is a good reminder to never masturbate on the highway until you’re very sure that you can handle both the mortal sin and the maneuvering of your vehicle.

    Contact the author at mark.shrayber@jezebel.com.

    Image via Fox

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    babybear, smichal, check1 and 13 others like this.
  2. Beth143nacho

    Beth143nacho Well-Known Member VIP

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    Irony
     
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  3. beetlejosh

    beetlejosh I got a head that's large Gold

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    Sounds fishy.
     
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  4. Mr. Potato Head

    Mr. Potato Head ~Would Like to Play~ Gold

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    I hope she gets off.
     
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  5. Jayla

    Jayla Ou ai-je l'esprit? Gold

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    :ohno:
     
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  6. Dlist

    Dlist Well-Known Member VIP

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    I usually just read my email...but that is a thought...:giggle:
     
  7. Mr. Potato Head

    Mr. Potato Head ~Would Like to Play~ Gold

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    :eek:
     
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  8. Caffeinated

    Caffeinated Well-Known Member

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    Sometimes the yuks fall straight from the heavens

    :lmao:
     
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  9. Stinkfist

    Stinkfist Well-Known Member

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  10. Jayla

    Jayla Ou ai-je l'esprit? Gold

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    I have a friend who told me once that while she was driving in Atlanta, she saw "Two hot, muscular gay men holding hands." and had to pull over to masturbate. :wtf: I know - "What kind of crazy ass friends do you have??" She is a friend from high school, is *VERY* comfortable with her sexuality and "artsy". :giggle:
     
  11. Bristol Chicken

    Bristol Chicken Free Range and Loving It Gold

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    Somebody explain this rabbit thing to me.
    It's not like a Richard Gere and hamster thing is it?

    [​IMG]
     
  12. Dlist

    Dlist Well-Known Member VIP

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    Holy F Jayla...you have some crazy friends:D..I am busy flipping off assholes on the Long Island Expressway...can't even think about that stuff..:)
     
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  13. Caffeinated

    Caffeinated Well-Known Member

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    You have much to learn, lad. :grad:



    ;)
     
  14. Jayla

    Jayla Ou ai-je l'esprit? Gold

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    I've known her forever. I love her, but we couldn't be more different. One time when we went to visit her, she showed us her nudes.
     
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  15. Dlist

    Dlist Well-Known Member VIP

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    Same here..I love my girlfriends...but one of mine was a stripper...I just couldn't relate.
     
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  16. knu3421

    knu3421 Well-Known Member

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    She needs to scale back her driving :wtf:
     
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  17. Dlist

    Dlist Well-Known Member VIP

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    You best slap some spoiler tags on that one my friend!
     
  18. JoeyDoubles

    JoeyDoubles Well-Known Member

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    She sounds like a national treasure....cherish her....cherish her.

    I wish my girlfriends would show me their nudes. Lol
     
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  19. Jayla

    Jayla Ou ai-je l'esprit? Gold

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    Yeah, but what if you were married to her and she was showing ppl her nudes?
     
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  20. Bristol Chicken

    Bristol Chicken Free Range and Loving It Gold

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    I'm on to you.

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