Women jokes

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by tomtom, Nov 10, 2011.

  1. tomtom

    tomtom Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    12,050
    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2010
    Messages:
    21,443
    Likes Received:
    3,015
    Why do women have legs?


    So they won't leave snail tracks when they walk.
     
  2. tomtom

    tomtom Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    12,050
    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2010
    Messages:
    21,443
    Likes Received:
    3,015
    Why do female paratroopers wear jockstraps?

    So they don't whistle on the way down.
     
  3. Bro

    Bro Corporate Fascist Gold

    Reputations:
    21,478
    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2010
    Messages:
    91,432
    Likes Received:
    20,330
    Fail.
     
  4. tomtom

    tomtom Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    12,050
    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2010
    Messages:
    21,443
    Likes Received:
    3,015
    :idea: I should start a new thread, carrying on a fight I started in a previous thread.
     
  5. tomtom

    tomtom Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    12,050
    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2010
    Messages:
    21,443
    Likes Received:
    3,015
    Technically that can be considered a woman joke. :giggle:
     
  6. Bro

    Bro Corporate Fascist Gold

    Reputations:
    21,478
    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2010
    Messages:
    91,432
    Likes Received:
    20,330
    It's more of a discussion unless she starts calling me fat.
     
  7. Wing

    Wing WonderSlave VIP

    Reputations:
    9
    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2010
    Messages:
    3,506
    Likes Received:
    32
    [Old One]
    Why do women have two sets of lips?
    So they can bitch and moan at the same time
     
  8. GHP

    GHP New Member Banned User

    Reputations:
    3
    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2010
    Messages:
    40,383
    Likes Received:
    7
    Why do women have pussies?
    So men will talk to them

    Why do women have pussies?
    So they don't take it up the ass EVERY night
     
  9. GHP

    GHP New Member Banned User

    Reputations:
    3
    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2010
    Messages:
    40,383
    Likes Received:
    7
    Twice :facepalm:
     
  10. Wing

    Wing WonderSlave VIP

    Reputations:
    9
    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2010
    Messages:
    3,506
    Likes Received:
    32
    :lol:

    What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
    nothing you already told her twice

    What do you call a woman with one black eye?
    A quick learner.

    What do you call a woman with no black eyes?
    A good cook

    What do you do when your dish-washer is broken?
    Slap her ass and tell her to get back to work
     
  11. Mr. Potato Head

    Mr. Potato Head ~Would Like to Play~ Gold

    Reputations:
    18,276
    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2010
    Messages:
    71,065
    Likes Received:
    26,215
    How many men does it take to change a lightbulb?


    Let the bitch cook in the dark!
     
  12. Nantrax

    Nantrax Well-Known Member VIP Gold

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2011
    Messages:
    28,041
    Likes Received:
    889
    2 guys are talking
    It's my wife's birthday soon, not sure what to give her.
    How about a watch?
    Pfft.. there's already a clock on the oven.

    :facepalm:
     
  13. eliasbboy

    eliasbboy Insert Witty Title Here Staff Member

    Reputations:
    11,926
    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2010
    Messages:
    37,119
    Likes Received:
    35,658
    A married guy decides he needs some companionship, so he goes to a pet store. The salesman says, " I have a great pet for you. A toothless hamster". The guy says, "Nah." The salesman says, "But it gives great head." The guy goes in the back room and it's fucking amazing. Best goddamn blow job he's ever had.

    He takes it home. His wife sees it and screams, "What the hell is that thing?"

    He says, "Never mind what it is. Teach it to cook and get the fuck out."
     
  14. tomtom

    tomtom Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    12,050
    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2010
    Messages:
    21,443
    Likes Received:
    3,015
    Every time you post in here bro cries a little.
     
  15. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Shit Mult Hunter Gold

    Reputations:
    16,733
    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2010
    Messages:
    215,901
    Likes Received:
    42,186
    Schmoopy mention in the tags!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :cheer::woohoo:



    [​IMG]
     
  16. Schmoopy

    Schmoopy Shit Mult Hunter Gold

    Reputations:
    16,733
    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2010
    Messages:
    215,901
    Likes Received:
    42,186
    What did the blonde say to her gynecologist?

    Are you sure it's mine?
     
  17. deverrant

    deverrant VIP Extreme Gold

    Reputations:
    81
    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2010
    Messages:
    16,246
    Likes Received:
    3,086
    Wait... so I don't HAVE to be doing that??
     
  18. walleye

    walleye Active Member Banned User

    Reputations:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2011
    Messages:
    19,935
    Likes Received:
    0
    Why do women have two holes?..........


    So you can carry them like a 6 pack!
     
  19. tomtom

    tomtom Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    12,050
    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2010
    Messages:
    21,443
    Likes Received:
    3,015
    Well we're talking about vaginas.
     
  20. tomtom

    tomtom Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    12,050
    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2010
    Messages:
    21,443
    Likes Received:
    3,015
    A man and woman were lying in bed on night and the woman said to the man, "I sure wish I had bigger tits."
    Well the man responded by saying she should rub toilet paper all over them.
    The woman looked at him and said "Toilet paper, what will that do?"
    The man said, "I don't know, but look what it's done for your ass."