I hope this lady got the rape counseling she so clearly needs. Obviously this guy should be locked up for life and throw away the key...how dare he look at a woman! Payal Sharma November 1 at 2:21pm · Annoyed and furious. Women have to deal with this shit ALL THE TIME. On the train just now, a man gets on the train, sits across and diagonal from me, and will not stop staring at me, looking at me up and down. For at least 5-6 stops. I look up, give him a "what the fuck are you doing" look, and look back down. He seems to think this is funny, continues staring and then shifts his body towards me, still staring and smiling. I look up again, he has the gall to wink at me. I'm done. I take out my headphones, and ask, "Did you just wink at me?" He says, grinning, "Yeah, does it look like I just winked at you?" I said, "Yes, and do not wink at me again. You've been staring at me this whole time, knowing you've been making me uncomfortable, don't think I haven't noticed." At this point, he's realizing that I will not be anything but direct, clear, and livid, and that he is publicly starting to look like a fool because a woman decided to call out his behavior. So he starts getting louder and says, "What, are you gay? Are you gay?" I say, "Stop staring at me, and move away from me. Women have to deal with this shit ALL THE TIME, and you're not gonna do it with me." I put my headphones back in and turn my music off to be prepped for escalation, as he's shouting at me, saying, "You move!" and to the guy two seats down, "Can you believe this? Is she high? Are you high?" Other guy tries to tell him to calm down, instead of saying, homie you were in the wrong. Staring man gets up to leave, I keep my chin up and stay focused, steel jawed, strong and brows furrowed. He leaves the train car. No one has said anything, nor done anything, other than to look away uncomfortably. So check it. Women have to go through this so damn often, and we have come up with a million techniques to survive in the moment. Putting headphones in with no music to be unapproachable- rather, we are approached, but the rejection is more acceptable for the man to receive because, hey, she wasn't rejecting me, she couldn't hear me. Ego is still intact. And for us as women, it makes us safer to the wrath that will come at us if we ignore, or worse yet, address the comments. We say in the moment we have a boyfriend, because although we know we shouldn't have to, and saying that perpetuates the notion that women being claimed by other men deems them someone else's property, and hey, why would you wanna do your fellow MAN like that, we do it because it's easier in the moment, and we're exhausted. Don't even get me started on what would happen if boyfriend was replaced with girlfriend. We carry keys like Wolverine. This is KNOWN. We do so much to just get from point A to point B. I'm tired of writing this fucking status. Women, I raise my fist in solidarity with you and what we have to endure in this hurt society. Men, go get your men. It's not enough to just speak up in the moment, I need some intersectional active unlearning. Go create support process groups. Check your brothers. Believe the women in your life. Write pieces that speak to this. I'm tired, I'm out- because when he left the train car today, verbally coming at me, I kept my head high, for the next couple of stops. Until I let some tears fall, allowing myself to feel the fear, feel the hurt, feel the frustration. We are hurting as a world, and sexism needs to be looked at too. Peace.