Worst Damn Knife Thrower Nearly Kills His Assistant

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by EndOfLine, Jan 6, 2015.

  1. EndOfLine

    EndOfLine PLATINUM SPONSOR VIP

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    :jj:



    That's was fucking close. :faint:

    **************
    This happened on some sort of Lithuanian talent show, and I very nearly broke out into a cold sweat while watching it.

    What we have here is a dude who throws knives attempting to hit targets that are arrayed around his assistant, because the throwing-knives-at-people-but-not-hitting-them routine is a thing that always comes off way cool and badass in movies. It does not, however, come off way cool and badass when the guy throwing the knives is Lithuanian Mr. Magoo, and the guy on the receiving end of the knives nearly loses his life.

    Nothing too terrifying happens at the start of the routine, but you can see every ounce of confidence drain from my dude with the ponytail's body as he realizes his partner can't actually throw knives very well. Like, not well at all.

    First blood is drawn at the 1:17 mark, when the drunk high school gym teacher who somehow convinced a TV studio full of people that he is a professional knife thrower grazes the poor bastard's finger. After a few more incompetently thrown knives, the guy almost gets his otherfinger taken off at the 1:30 mark.

    And then come the flaming knives. God, no, why isn't anyone stopping this?! The psychotic bald man manages to not hit his partner with any flaming knives, thank God, but he also manages to miss just about every single target. This guy is the worst!

    Then it's time for the finale. A watermelon is placed above the young dude's head and oh holy Christ he nearly gets a knife put through his fucking eye. The watermelon remains undisturbed.

    After the horror show is over, the judges have what I assume to be some very harsh criticism for the Bad Knife Man. Criticism that I assume included phrases like Are you drunk right now? andPlease, sir, just put down the knives. and Is anyone calling the police? Meanwhile, the guy who just nearly died stands there and leaks blood all over the stage. His abusive partner casually tries to mop it up with his foot at the 4:45 mark.

    http://deadspin.com/worst-damn-knife-thrower-nearly-kills-his-assistant-1677777366
     
  2. Wangold

    Wangold Well-Known Member

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    Mulletude likes this.
  3. rolltide

    rolltide Well-Known Member VIP

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    The only thing that could make this better is if the knife thrower wore a monocle and a hitler mustache.
     
  4. rolltide

    rolltide Well-Known Member VIP

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    Fucking Johnny milking that for ever fucking laugh that he could........he was a master funnyman
     
  5. wigtropolis

    wigtropolis Well-Known Member

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    what is the fat bitches problem.
     
  6. kippy

    kippy Not Safe For Women VIP

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    Maybe the assistant was fucking the knife thrower's boyfriend.
     
  7. Robert Higgins

    Robert Higgins Well-Known Member VIP

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  8. Rocinante

    Rocinante Well-Endowed Member Gold

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    CSB: Most of Carson's first decade was erased so the cheap jew studio heads could reuse the tapes for other shows.
     
  9. baci

    baci Well-Known Member VIP

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  10. Honkey Donkey

    Honkey Donkey Well-Known Member

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    Howard needs to have this guy on the show . Beth can be his assistant. She always wanted to be in show biz .
     
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  11. Pickle Jar

    Pickle Jar Well-Known Member

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    Artie would have caught them with his belly after all he is a pro at it.