Would You Bang This???? Please Look

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by booybob, Jul 25, 2014.

?

Would you bang her??

Poll closed Jul 28, 2014.
  1. Yes

    36 vote(s)
    97.3%
  2. no

    1 vote(s)
    2.7%
  1. booybob

    booybob Well-Known Member Banned User

    Reputations:
    1,927
    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2012
    Messages:
    3,569
    Likes Received:
    800
    You must read the article.
    Smoking Hot Retarded Chick Raises Serious Moral Questions for Local Man
    May 3, 2013 · by Sal Kingfisher · in Lifestyle. ·
    [​IMG]
    Sheila often forgets to put on a shirt when dressing herself

    Smoking Hot Retarded Chick Raises Serious Moral Questions for Local Man

    GROVE CITY, VA—22 year-old Mark Newton has never had much luck when it comes to dating. The college senior has only had one serious girlfriend in his life, and that relationship soured while he was still in high school. But suddenly, Newton has found himself in the midst of a flirtation with a young woman who physically, he realizes, should be out of his league.

    “I couldn’t believe it when I noticed her checking me out,” Newton says, “I’m not an athlete. And I’ve never been bright enough to be considered a nerdy type. Basically, I’ve got nothing to offer women. I’ll probably end up in middle management at some shitty factory. There’s no way a girl like Sheila should ever be attracted to a guy like me.”

    But the girl, 19 year-old Sheila Nickles, pursued a relationship with Newton, despite his initial reticence. Soon, Newton realized why.

    “Sheila has the mind of an eight year-old,” he explains, “At first, I thought she was just a little ditzy, but after we talked for awhile, I realized she is actually mentally retarded. Like, full on.”

    Newton says he was first approached by Nickles when he was wearing a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles t-shirt, which she told him was her favorite cartoon.

    “I was totally wearing the shirt ironically, you know?” he says, “That’s what the cooler college guys do, so I figured I would do it, too. And then I get approached by this stunning chick, and I’m like, whoa, this shit really works.”

    What Newton didn’t realize was that Sheila was attracted more to the bright colors on his shirt than to the characters themselves.

    “It turns out, she calls anything that catches her eye her favorite cartoon,” Newton says, “An ambulance passed by with its lights flashing and she goes, ‘that’s my favorite cartoon!’ But we were already kind of hitting it off, so I figured, what the hell?”

    Newton says an innocent misunderstanding led to his first sexual encounter with Sheila, after she asked him to take her home from the park where they met.

    “I was thinking she was into me, and wanted to go back to my place,” he says, “I had no idea she was asking me to take her back to her group home. So we headed back to my apartment and I made a move. Chicks are never into my moves, so I guess it should have been a red flag, but she totally went for it. I tell you, retarded or not, she definitely knows the language of love. She fucked me like she was auditioning for Glee.”

    Newton says that when he finally realized the severity of Sheila’s mental disability, he was overcome by feelings of guilt, but that he hasn’t decided whether or not to continue the relationship.

    “I haven’t had a date in, like, three years,” he says, “Now all of a sudden I have this chick who, while she may be retarded, is built like a swim suit model and is totally into me. So I’m supposed to just break it off because she’s disabled? How is that less cruel than if I just keep banging her for a while? There’s no rule book for something like this.”
     
  2. HankTheDrunkenAngryDwarf

    HankTheDrunkenAngryDwarf Member Banned User

    Reputations:
    265
    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2014
    Messages:
    105
    Likes Received:
    97
    Not only would I hit this, what is her contact information?

    There was a similar thing in a movie or TV show although I can't seem to remember which on it is right now.
     
    XaltedSmoke likes this.
  3. chuk

    chuk Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    130,781
    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2012
    Messages:
    13,718
    Likes Received:
    7,586
    You had me at "retarded".
     
  4. Mr Vengeance

    Mr Vengeance Ladies love cool V. VIP

    Reputations:
    87,148
    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2012
    Messages:
    8,299
    Likes Received:
    12,233
    This is a trick question, right?
     
    Roeu812, XaltedSmoke and PI Nate like this.
  5. Kracka-Mike

    Kracka-Mike Temp Ban Gold

    Reputations:
    2,394
    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2010
    Messages:
    2,469
    Likes Received:
    397
    You understand this is like The Onion? There are no retarded chicks that look like this :jj:
     
  6. booybob

    booybob Well-Known Member Banned User

    Reputations:
    1,927
    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2012
    Messages:
    3,569
    Likes Received:
    800
    Garypuppet mult??
     
  7. booybob

    booybob Well-Known Member Banned User

    Reputations:
    1,927
    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2012
    Messages:
    3,569
    Likes Received:
    800

    Sheila has the mind of an eight year-old,” he explains, “At first, I thought she was just a little ditzy, but after we talked for awhile, I realized she is actually mentally retarded. Like, full on.”
     
    XaltedSmoke likes this.
  8. BadKarma

    BadKarma Extended Member

    Reputations:
    58,763
    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2013
    Messages:
    1,154
    Likes Received:
    1,596
    The Onion has you in its grasp , run!!
     
    XaltedSmoke likes this.
  9. HankTheDrunkenAngryDwarf

    HankTheDrunkenAngryDwarf Member Banned User

    Reputations:
    265
    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2014
    Messages:
    105
    Likes Received:
    97
    Why don't you just tell me the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus don't exist either. :pissed:
     
    XaltedSmoke and Beths Arab like this.
  10. mape

    mape Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    22,158
    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2012
    Messages:
    2,550
    Likes Received:
    4,777
    Of course...Dah!
     
  11. Shithead

    Shithead Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    92,078
    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2012
    Messages:
    13,386
    Likes Received:
    21,635
    “At first, I thought she was just a little ditzy, but after we talked for awhile, I realized she is actually mentally retarded. Like, full on.”


    Perfect!
     
  12. Kracka-Mike

    Kracka-Mike Temp Ban Gold

    Reputations:
    2,394
    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2010
    Messages:
    2,469
    Likes Received:
    397
    [​IMG]
     
  13. booybob

    booybob Well-Known Member Banned User

    Reputations:
    1,927
    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2012
    Messages:
    3,569
    Likes Received:
    800
  14. Mr Vengeance

    Mr Vengeance Ladies love cool V. VIP

    Reputations:
    87,148
    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2012
    Messages:
    8,299
    Likes Received:
    12,233
    I just saw Elvis.
     
  15. CrucifiedAGT

    CrucifiedAGT He's Around VIP

    Reputations:
    335,970
    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2013
    Messages:
    11,739
    Likes Received:
    24,690
    Retarded chick? Seems redundant.
     
    Mr Fantastic, nicksgt and PI Nate like this.
  16. booybob

    booybob Well-Known Member Banned User

    Reputations:
    1,927
    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2012
    Messages:
    3,569
    Likes Received:
    800
    Was he with Tupac and were they looking to bang a hot retarded chick??
     
  17. GaryPuppet

    GaryPuppet Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    246,265
    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2012
    Messages:
    25,367
    Likes Received:
    48,967
    All in.
     
    Roeu812 likes this.
  18. Mr Vengeance

    Mr Vengeance Ladies love cool V. VIP

    Reputations:
    87,148
    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2012
    Messages:
    8,299
    Likes Received:
    12,233
    Now that I think about it, they did mention Beth.....Oh wait...she's not hot.
     
    kippy and Imus O Sternsky like this.
  19. Stan Beeman

    Stan Beeman Well-Known Member VIP

    Reputations:
    55,500
    Joined:
    Apr 16, 2012
    Messages:
    23,152
    Likes Received:
    6,855
    Yes
     
  20. wigtropolis

    wigtropolis Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    65,372
    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2012
    Messages:
    19,081
    Likes Received:
    10,241
    aren't most women retarded. what is the problem
     
    BrulesRules likes this.