Wow. I really am one of the greatest human beings of all time. Behold my greatness.

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by Daveindiego, Aug 2, 2013.

  1. Daveindiego

    Daveindiego Confirmed Internet Legend Gold

    Reputations:
    448,739
    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2010
    Messages:
    74,930
    Likes Received:
    29,402
    So let me paint the picture for you.....


    I'm outside my place, smoking a grit, and yelling at the dogs to STFU before I beat them. When all of a sudden, I heard a faint and muffled 'help. help me'.

    I was all 'WTF is that?!!' :wtf:

    Then I yelled some more at the dogs to STFU. And there it was again 'help me'. No doubt about it this time. I could hear my neighbor from the building to the south crying for help. I had to jump into action. And I did. :c

    I ran around to the front to get the address from the building next door for 911. As I returned, I encountered my neighbor in the house in front and I told him what was going on. The neighbor said 'did you go and knock on his door?' and I told him I really didn't want to do that, I'd just call 911. So we both go over, and we can't hear shit from the courtyard and frontdoor of the guy who is crying for help. The neighbor, and some people in the building next door, are looking at me all 'WTF are you talking about, we can't hear anything'. So we bailed. When we came back over, I asked the neighbor in the front house to come back to my yard to see if he could hear it. So he comes back to my yard and listens, and all of a sudden, he hears 'help. help me'.

    Then he ran over to make the neighbors in the building next door call 911. When I came over to see what was going on, the neighbor to the guy who was hurt asked me to remove the screen from the front window, and open the door, which I did. And she went in to find the old guy all laid out in his bathtub, crying for help.



    Goddamn, it feels good to be a neighborhood hero. Everyone knows that it was due to me, that this guy is going to live.

    :c
     
  2. Lawsy

    Lawsy Hey, buttholes

    Reputations:
    5,059
    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2013
    Messages:
    43,403
    Likes Received:
    646
    You were scared to go in at first?
     
  3. gilaet

    gilaet Xanax Service Dog Staff Member

    Reputations:
    242,511
    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2010
    Messages:
    88,528
    Likes Received:
    21,495
    oh fuck reading that shit
     
  4. DrivenByDemons

    DrivenByDemons Spinoff Jesus Staff Member

    Reputations:
    259,682
    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2010
    Messages:
    70,109
    Likes Received:
    41,866
    :bigcry:

    Touching bro.
     
  5. Lawsy

    Lawsy Hey, buttholes

    Reputations:
    5,059
    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2013
    Messages:
    43,403
    Likes Received:
    646
    I read it. :coffee:
     
  6. Daveindiego

    Daveindiego Confirmed Internet Legend Gold

    Reputations:
    448,739
    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2010
    Messages:
    74,930
    Likes Received:
    29,402
    I wasn't going in.

    I told the neighbor in front 'dude, I don't want to get all involved with some bad shit inside someones place, let the pros take care of it.'

    Then when the lady found him in the tub, she asked us to help her get him out, and I was all 'fuck that, the pros are on their way, let them deal with it.'

    :c
     
  7. Daveindiego

    Daveindiego Confirmed Internet Legend Gold

    Reputations:
    448,739
    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2010
    Messages:
    74,930
    Likes Received:
    29,402
    It really is an incredible and awesome feeling to know that I have the power of God to determine life and death.

    :c
     
  8. Mur

    Mur soon VIP

    Reputations:
    6,346
    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2011
    Messages:
    8,071
    Likes Received:
    1,011
    Was he drowning?
     
  9. beatlejaws

    beatlejaws nowhere poster

    Reputations:
    41,611
    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2011
    Messages:
    54,144
    Likes Received:
    5,559
    i got some tomato juice off the top shelf for some old lady in the market today
     
  10. BaddFunn

    BaddFunn Kick ass fuck yeah VIP

    Reputations:
    90,531
    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2012
    Messages:
    32,821
    Likes Received:
    13,288
    Dave. You're the fucking best, man. [​IMG]
     
  11. BaddFunn

    BaddFunn Kick ass fuck yeah VIP

    Reputations:
    90,531
    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2012
    Messages:
    32,821
    Likes Received:
    13,288
    how tall are you?
     
  12. beatlejaws

    beatlejaws nowhere poster

    Reputations:
    41,611
    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2011
    Messages:
    54,144
    Likes Received:
    5,559
    tall enough to reach he tomato juice
     
  13. Napoleon V2

    Napoleon V2 New Member Banned User

    Reputations:
    21
    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2010
    Messages:
    15,803
    Likes Received:
    9
    Dave you are a hero. :usa:
     
  14. Satori Brah

    Satori Brah Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    104,905
    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2011
    Messages:
    52,097
    Likes Received:
    7,564
    damn brah :beer:
     
  15. Lawsy

    Lawsy Hey, buttholes

    Reputations:
    5,059
    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2013
    Messages:
    43,403
    Likes Received:
    646
    [video=youtube;sft3VHxru2s]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sft3VHxru2s[/video]
     
  16. Guy LaDouche

    Guy LaDouche New Member

    Reputations:
    -150
    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2013
    Messages:
    4,439
    Likes Received:
    1
    This fucknut is making shit up again. Pics or shut the fuck up is what I say...Do gotta give it to the old man for his creativity.
     
  17. Nantrax

    Nantrax Well-Known Member VIP Gold

    Reputations:
    4,167
    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2011
    Messages:
    28,042
    Likes Received:
    889
    Technically you are taking credit for saying to yourself "I ain't touching shit, let the others handle it" ?

    A true hero right there :up:
     
  18. BaddFunn

    BaddFunn Kick ass fuck yeah VIP

    Reputations:
    90,531
    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2012
    Messages:
    32,821
    Likes Received:
    13,288
    you mother fucker
     
  19. Daveindiego

    Daveindiego Confirmed Internet Legend Gold

    Reputations:
    448,739
    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2010
    Messages:
    74,930
    Likes Received:
    29,402
    Turned out it was some guy in his mid-70's and he was living alone.

    He would have been their for days if I didn't hear him, because you sure couldn't hear him from the front of his place. The amberlamps took him away all strapped down to the stretcher.

    Crazy.

    It was like a 30 year fast forward on what I have to look forward to.
     
  20. Daveindiego

    Daveindiego Confirmed Internet Legend Gold

    Reputations:
    448,739
    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2010
    Messages:
    74,930
    Likes Received:
    29,402
    When the old man comes back from the hospital, I'm going to shake him down for cash.

    'Motherfucker, if it wasn't for me old man, you'd be dead!!"