Wow. I really am one of the greatest human beings of all time. Behold my greatness.

So let me paint the picture for you.....


I'm outside my place, smoking a grit, and yelling at the dogs to STFU before I beat them. When all of a sudden, I heard a faint and muffled 'help. help me'.

I was all 'WTF is that?!!'

Then I yelled some more at the dogs to STFU. And there it was again 'help me'. No doubt about it this time. I could hear my neighbor from the building to the south crying for help. I had to jump into action. And I did.

I ran around to the front to get the address from the building next door for 911. As I returned, I encountered my neighbor in the house in front and I told him what was going on. The neighbor said 'did you go and knock on his door?' and I told him I really didn't want to do that, I'd just call 911. So we both go over, and we can't hear shit from the courtyard and frontdoor of the guy who is crying for help. The neighbor, and some people in the building next door, are looking at me all 'WTF are you talking about, we can't hear anything'. So we bailed. When we came back over, I asked the neighbor in the front house to come back to my yard to see if he could hear it. So he comes back to my yard and listens, and all of a sudden, he hears 'help. help me'.

Then he ran over to make the neighbors in the building next door call 911. When I came over to see what was going on, the neighbor to the guy who was hurt asked me to remove the screen from the front window, and open the door, which I did. And she went in to find the old guy all laid out in his bathtub, crying for help.



Goddamn, it feels good to be a neighborhood hero. Everyone knows that it was due to me, that this guy is going to live.

 

You were scared to go in at first?

 

Touching bro.

 

I read it.

 

I wasn't going in.

I told the neighbor in front 'dude, I don't want to get all involved with some bad shit inside someones place, let the pros take care of it.'

Then when the lady found him in the tub, she asked us to help her get him out, and I was all 'fuck that, the pros are on their way, let them deal with it.'

 

It really is an incredible and awesome feeling to know that I have the power of God to determine life and death.

 

Was he drowning?

 

i got some tomato juice off the top shelf for some old lady in the market today

 

Dave. You're the fucking best, man.

 

how tall are you?

 

tall enough to reach he tomato juice

 

Dave you are a hero.

 

damn brah

 

[video=youtube;sft3VHxru2s]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sft3VHxru2s[/video]

 

This fucknut is making shit up again. Pics or shut the fuck up is what I say...Do gotta give it to the old man for his creativity.

 

Technically you are taking credit for saying to yourself "I ain't touching shit, let the others handle it" ?

A true hero right there

 

you mother fucker

 

Turned out it was some guy in his mid-70's and he was living alone.

He would have been their for days if I didn't hear him, because you sure couldn't hear him from the front of his place. The amberlamps took him away all strapped down to the stretcher.

Crazy.

It was like a 30 year fast forward on what I have to look forward to.

 

When the old man comes back from the hospital, I'm going to shake him down for cash.

'Motherfucker, if it wasn't for me old man, you'd be dead!!"