Write Beth's epitaph

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by Beth143nacho, Sep 3, 2013.

  1. Beth143nacho

    Beth143nacho Well-Known Member VIP

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  2. Beth143nacho

    Beth143nacho Well-Known Member VIP

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    Here lies Beth and her favorite carrot
     
  3. slab0meat

    slab0meat negative creep

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    Here lies Beth. Hated, even in death.
     
  4. Beth143nacho

    Beth143nacho Well-Known Member VIP

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    Here lies Beth ostrosky, because I married him for the fame and fortune,
    not his name or kids
     
  5. Beth143nacho

    Beth143nacho Well-Known Member VIP

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    Caution: visiting this gravesite may have adverse effects on your career, including but not limited to: your pet series not getting renewed, cancellation, a decrease in your charity rating, low book sales volume and barren womb syndrome. Your spouse may also experience a declining career performance with an inability to recognize the situation and unwillingness to admit that they're miserable
     
  6. beetlejosh

    beetlejosh I got a head that's large Gold

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  7. crazypreacher

    crazypreacher Hey yo

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    Her career was less than satisfactory
    Now off to the big glue factory
     
  8. WillyBest

    WillyBest Achiever Gold

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    God don't want me yet man, I gots more feets to taste!
     
  9. meanredhed

    meanredhed Well-Known Member VIP Gold

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    Here lies Beth Ostrosky Stern (never got around to changing her name because it was "a whole thing Robin"
    daughter to well known model Mother...no, no, not well known
    daughter to reputable dentist Father...no, no, he was nailed for fraud
    graduated from...no, no, never graduated
    sister/lover to ...never mind, see Howard's "boys come to the Hamptons" video
    Wife..er, beard to Howard Stern... successful judge on the most popular Gong Show type...no, no, the ratings sucked
    Ok! successful model...no, no, managed to snag a Sunday flyer for Ames
    Talk show host! Yes, that's it...no, no, all shows cancelled.
    Respected (paid) spokesperson for the most revered charity NSAL...no, no that's not it either
    Fuck it, what the hell did she do?
     
  10. jokeland

    jokeland Well-Known Member VIP

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    Ha, ha, chumps at the saloon. I wanted to be famous all along.
     
  11. ApeFace

    ApeFace Well-Known Member

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    Damnit. I couldn't figure out how to work in a glue factory reference to anything clever.
     
  12. tHISisKiSSeL

    tHISisKiSSeL ♡❂❁❀♡ Gold

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  13. Quite Frankly

    Quite Frankly Well-Known Member

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    She said- and I think we can all agree on this- that "Cum is icky"

    G'night, funny-lookin' gal
     
  14. the Artie Chair

    the Artie Chair New Member Banned User

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    "Pittsburgh gold-digger, Beth Ostrovsky, dies. After years of trying to latch on with better-looking, wealthier men, including David Letterman, Mark Wahlberg and Pauly Shore, she married Pelican lookalike Howard Stern. The self proclaimed King of All Media tried for over a decade to fulfill his part of the pre-marriage contract and use his influence to get her to D-list stardom. Despite his best efforts, including doing a dreadful 2 year run as a judge on America's Got Talent to help build her brand, the most stardom Ms. Ostrovsky was able to obtain was a few footnotes as "audience member - AGT" on the Hollywood website, IMDB.com"
     
  15. Chatsworth

    Chatsworth Well-Known Member VIP

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    Here lies Beth Ostrosky Stern Imus Limbaugh AliBaba Ben Khalid Shabazz Jenner Jenner DeGeneris Jones
     
  16. Quite Frankly

    Quite Frankly Well-Known Member

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    And now I'd like to hear....JD's epitaph- discuss....
    [​IMG]
     
  17. Dilkington

    Dilkington Active Member

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    Cunt. Idiot. Toothy Equine Gold Digger.

    See plots 45 and 46 for seperate burial of her hands and feet.
     
  18. Sam Stone

    Sam Stone Well-Known Member

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  19. Winston Ono

    Winston Ono Well-Known Member

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    Beth does not want to be dead.
     
  20. damuthafnprez

    damuthafnprez New Member

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    I love dogs and old loose skin