News Wyoming Man Found with 30 Eyeballs in His Anal Cavity

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by Quedee, Jul 26, 2015.

  1. Quedee

    Quedee Wise Ass Extraordinaire

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    Wyoming Man Found with 30 Eyeballs in His Anal Cavity

    crazed 2015-07-24

    Okay, this is one of the craziest things we’ve ever seen… WTF?

    CASPER, Wyo. –

    Police made a routine traffic stop early Thursday morning and got more than they bargained for when Roy Tilbott, 51, stepped out of his El Camino for a field sobriety test and Casper police noticed several eyeballs slide from his right pant leg onto the road.



    [​IMG]


    Feeling they could have a potential murderer on their hands, police quickly drew guns and cuffed Tilbott.

    Tilbott assured police the eyeballs were not human, but instead cow eyeballs he had pilfered from Johnson Meats (a slaughterhouse) where Tilbott is employed as a butcher.



    [​IMG]


    Above: Bovine eyeball from Tilbott’s rectum. A total of 30 were found. Image Source: Casper Police Department

    “Company won’t let us take animal scraps home and instead toss them in the landfill,” Tilbott said in the police report. “They’re a very wasteful company. We should be allowed to take scrap meat and other parts home. The company should start a green initiative. They don’t even have recycling at the plant.”

    Tilbott explained his actions: “I enjoy eating bovine eyeballs and smuggling them out in my colon was the only way I knew how to get them out without potentially getting caught and fired.”

    Tilbott told police he estimates he has smuggled several thousand eyeballs from the plant over the past few months.

    “I put them in soups,” Tilbott said in the police report. “They’re beneficial for erectile dysfunction, which I currently battle, but I also just like the texture and taste.”

    Tilbott was arrested for driving under the influence, his BAC two times higher than the legal limit, plus he was in possession of several large carving knives possibly stolen from the meat packing plant, but Tilbott has not been charged with theft as police need to further investigate to determine who the knives belong to.

    Police are also unsure whether to charge Tilbott with theft for the bovine eyeballs. They are waiting to talk with Tilbott’s employer first.


    http://crazed.com/wyoming-man-eyeballs-in-cavity/
     
  2. MyLazyHand

    MyLazyHand Russia and France Know What to Do

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    Ummm...if you shove eyeballs up your ass, you might be a redneck.
     
  3. Alisonsbankacct

    Alisonsbankacct Out to lunch.

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    Alas it is but a fable

    “You can’t believe everything you read on the web.”

    "The story is 100% fake! I repeat, this story, which originated on a fake news/satire website, is absolutely false."I’m not for sure who said it first, but the saying definitely holds true more often than any of us would like to admit. Case in point: If you’ve been on Facebook today, there’s a very good chance that you’ve seen an “article” about Wyoming man found with 30 cow eyeballs in his anal cavity.”

    The story is 100% fake! I repeat, this story, which originated on a fake news/satire website, is absolutely false. It’s a hoax. How do I know? Well, we just so happen to have a news department, and that same news department picked up the phone and called the police, who confirmed that the entire thing is nothing but a ruse.

    Regardless, it has been shared quite a few times on social media already. The accused man was said to have stolen the cow eyeballs from a non-existent meat plant, supposedly located right here in our wonderful state. The “article” stated the man had stolen the eyeballs and smuggled them in his rectum because he like to cook them in soup.



    Read More: Police: Story About Wyoming Man Smuggling Eyeballs is... | http://kisscasper.com/hoax-casper-man-smuggling-eyeballs/?trackback=tsmclip
     
  4. lilbuddy67

    lilbuddy67 A man with breath-taking anger management issues Banned User

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  5. Skipnoid

    Skipnoid Lick Me!

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    :haha:
     
  6. Shortwave98

    Shortwave98 A-Number 1 Banned User

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    Party pooper. :depressed:
     
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  7. John Sterling

    John Sterling Well-Known Member Banned User

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    He gives the term, "Keep an eye on him" a whole new meaning.
     
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  8. Skipnoid

    Skipnoid Lick Me!

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    Your such a buzzkill, dude. I was just working up some good jokes and you completely let the wind out of my sails. :(
     
  9. Murcielago

    Murcielago Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast

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    Everyone needs a hobby.
     
  10. Shortwave98

    Shortwave98 A-Number 1 Banned User

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    Can anyone say "colonoscopy"?
     
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  11. Skipnoid

    Skipnoid Lick Me!

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    [​IMG]
     
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  12. John Sterling

    John Sterling Well-Known Member Banned User

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    This pic must give him a hardon.

    [​IMG]
     
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  13. dexterdog

    dexterdog Well-Known Member

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  14. HypocriteHowie

    HypocriteHowie Well-Known Member

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    Very beneficial, both for erectile dysfunction and eying the prettiest cow in the lot.
     
  15. reno

    reno VIP Extreme Gold

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    We're having a party here and Mlaw is a party pooper.
     
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  16. Nemo

    Nemo Beer Can Thick Gold

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    death penalty
     
  17. Alisonsbankacct

    Alisonsbankacct Out to lunch.

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    :nocheer:
     
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  18. OV

    OV Rapscallion

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  19. HooHoo

    HooHoo Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]
     
  20. Alisonsbankacct

    Alisonsbankacct Out to lunch.

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    Hey, there's still the person who was able to make up and write a story on this scenario :dontknow:
     
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