Yay ME! I just saved a Bird!

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by Pissed_on_Fan, May 30, 2012.

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  1. Pissed_on_Fan

    Pissed_on_Fan Well-Known Member

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    I often work from home, and had the windows open today, so when I heard some unusual flapping I looked out to see Mama Robin had gotten a piece of unraveled blue plastic tarp string tied around her little foot, and she was stuck in a potted shrub and getting more tangled as she tried to get free.

    So I grabbed work gloves, safety glasses and scissors, and luckily she stayed still while I held her with one hand and carefully cut and untied the string with the other. Big sigh of relief at not cutting her teeny-tiny leg! The whole operation lasted less than two minutes, and then she went on with her day, and I with mine.

    But now I'm reflecting on it, thinking this is my big chance for self-promotion, and I shouldn't blow it!

    What should I do?

    I mistakenly set the bird free rather than make it wait for the press and perfessional fertographers to arrive (DOH! stupid me! Not one picture for publicity :tears2:)

    I didn't tweet this -- should I? The robin gave a few tweets as it flew off, which was kind of heartwarming :)

    Can I get a tie-in with Robin Quivers? Like this robin being saved is a good omen for ROQ or something?

    Should I send a Thank-you note to the robin, or should I wait for it to send ME one?

    Should I get an agent and call Page Six or whatever media will publicize this display of my wonderfulness?

    I can call myself an expert now, riiiigggghhht?

    Can I write a book about Ornithology now... even if I have a ghost writer, it'll still be MY book, right?

    Is there a problem with the fact I saved a robin but made a huge bowl of chicken salad last weekend and should i minimize that for my press conference? Should I take off my leather sandals or just wear them shamelessly?

    :idea: Oh, I know what to do!!! I'll throw a big party to bring notice to ME! All you Dawg Salooners are invited and we can celebrate my wonderfoe-ness! I saved an animoe today, y'know! We'll have dainty and expensive hors d'ouvres... Please do not make a fuss if there's a few animoes on the menu!

    I will give everyone an amazing pillow for you to take home as a gift; it has geometric robin designs that I designed, because now I am an expert at Everything Robins! And you can all get a chance to have your picture taken with me! YAY!!

    [​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG]
    [​IMG]
     
    May 30, 2012 #1
  2. BrulesRules

    BrulesRules Just grab 'em in the biscuits VIP

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    ok the score is even, I just ate a bird.
     
    May 30, 2012 #2
  3. STR

    STR New Member Banned User

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    you are a bird
     
    May 30, 2012 #3
  4. TehLivingDeath

    TehLivingDeath New Member Banned User

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    Bird bird, bird is the word.
     
    May 30, 2012 #4
  5. Howard Stork

    Howard Stork "Big Nosed and Jewish"

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    Did you throw the bird in a hot, airless tupperware tub and call the local news? Bethie did.
     
    May 30, 2012 #5
  6. Joe Bauers

    Joe Bauers Well-Known Member

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    Yeah, You Fucked up. Are Robins even supposed to be out ?:dontknow:
     
    May 30, 2012 #6
  7. TehLivingDeath

    TehLivingDeath New Member Banned User

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    Robins without cancerous bladder tumors are.
     
    May 30, 2012 #7
  8. TehLivingDeath

    TehLivingDeath New Member Banned User

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    ^^^

    Too soon? Nah!
     
    May 30, 2012 #8
  9. Beer Chugger

    Beer Chugger Well-Known Member

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    Translation: "I am unemployed"
     
    May 30, 2012 #9
  10. Howard Stork

    Howard Stork "Big Nosed and Jewish"

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    Quote of the week!!!! :jj:
     
    May 30, 2012 #10
  11. BrulesRules

    BrulesRules Just grab 'em in the biscuits VIP

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    [​IMG]
     
    May 30, 2012 #11
  12. knu3421

    knu3421 Well-Known Member

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    did someone say bird?
     
    May 30, 2012 #12
  13. terrell

    terrell New Member

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    did Beff write that or her ghostwriter?
     
    May 30, 2012 #13
  14. Tinman

    Tinman Well-Known Member

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    [video=youtube;2WNrx2jq184]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WNrx2jq184[/video]
    :dadance:
     
    May 30, 2012 #14
  15. knu3421

    knu3421 Well-Known Member

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    yeah the fucking bird is the word!!! :cheer: meep bird meep!!!
     
    May 30, 2012 #15
  16. knu3421

    knu3421 Well-Known Member

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    The bird called me & he said u mistreated him!!
     
    May 30, 2012 #16
  17. Peau de Soie

    Peau de Soie Edit Button? Thanks LaserTilt!

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    Seriously? Nobody?

    [​IMG]
     
    May 30, 2012 #17
  18. Pissed_on_Fan

    Pissed_on_Fan Well-Known Member

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    Oh, gosh... I dunno... I will tell my Consuela to ask my doorman!
     
    May 30, 2012 #18
  19. YokoOhNo

    YokoOhNo Well-Known Member

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    If you do write a book it should be autobiographical...but make sure it's about yourself.
     
    May 30, 2012 #19
  20. knu3421

    knu3421 Well-Known Member

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    ghost rider looks odd here
     
    May 30, 2012 #20
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