You ever have to shit so bad

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by DrSublux, Aug 21, 2013.

  1. DrSublux

    DrSublux Who am dis VIP

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    I know this topic has been done to death but...............

    I knew I had to go before I left for lunch, but I decided I wanted to go home and drop trough.

    I felt alot of pressure in my 5 min commute home and of course I get behind speed limit oderus driving. So I make it with what I think time to spare? Let me preface this with me having 2 young kids that still use potty seats that sit on top of most of my toilets. So as I am rushing for the powder room it seems like my asshole knows it is about to throw up and applys even more pressure to release. I dont get that and am not a fan. So I bend over to remove said potty seat and of course it doesnt come off as easily as I would have hoped. So I get it off and trip over the stool that helps them up onto the seat. At this point I am pissed off that this is in the way of my feet I procede to kick it away almost slipping on the shitter carpet that they put under the toilet. So I rush to take off my pants with belt and I yank down with a force of a lumberjack chopping away at a stump and accidently grabbed my pants and underwear. When this happens people it sort of gets stuck so I collect myself and the slacks drop but I am still struggling with the boxer briefs. At this point I am gonna blow so I pull down on the shorts and rip the whole right side off in just enough time to blow.

    So everything came out and I was happy.

    Then to top things off a fly comes in.:shit:

    Fin
     
  2. face palm

    face palm Well-Known Member

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    no, never
     
  3. DrSublux

    DrSublux Who am dis VIP

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    really...come on really this never happened to you
     
  4. face palm

    face palm Well-Known Member

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    ok one time i wanted to try anal and the guy was really big and...:c
     
  5. face palm

    face palm Well-Known Member

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    that was supposed to be a pm
    naz delete this thread
     
  6. Oderus

    Oderus Going to hell VIP

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    um...
     
  7. gilaet

    gilaet Xanax Service Dog Gold

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    I'll get around to reading that.
     
  8. Captain Insano

    Captain Insano New Member Banned User

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    I have never had so much trouble getting my pants off. this is all I can picture while reading this

    [video=youtube;OBrCZQO6-o4]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBrCZQO6-o4[/video]
     
  9. face palm

    face palm Well-Known Member

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    save it for the can
     
  10. Gomez

    Gomez Well-Known Member

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    I take a huge shit in the morning right after I wake up and have my coffee. then I'm good for the day :fil:
     
  11. DrSublux

    DrSublux Who am dis VIP

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    I wanted to share and after all was done the fly coming in the room made me laugh.

    I guess that makes one of us :facepalm:
     
  12. face palm

    face palm Well-Known Member

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    sig worthy? :bigthink:
     
  13. Mr. Potato Head

    Mr. Potato Head ~Would Like to Play~ Gold

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    All the time.
     
  14. HeinousMark

    HeinousMark Creepy-Ass Cracka VIP

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    I have noticed that when it's absolutely necessary, I can hold my tee-tee and doody for hours, but as soon as you start getting closer to your port-of-call... It's like my bladder and/or bowels turn into little excited dogs, yipping and jumping and running in circles...and the closer I get to the Porcelain Altar, the faster I gotta run!
     
  15. DrSublux

    DrSublux Who am dis VIP

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    tee tee:c Yea i dont get that, its like your brain says its about to get some release and as you are walking to the crapper it goes into over drive. And it only happens to me when I am coming home from something. Never when I am just sitting on the couch.
     
  16. Satori Brah

    Satori Brah Well-Known Member

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    tl;dr

    gonna wait til I have to shit
     
  17. Lemmy

    Lemmy Douchebag Extraordinaire Gold

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    I took a dump that looked like a midget's leg the other day. Three flusher FTW! :cheer:
     
  18. zhukov

    zhukov Time traveler Gold

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    shtter carpet is disgusting
     
  19. DrSublux

    DrSublux Who am dis VIP

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    so much pain :emperor:
     
  20. Lemmy

    Lemmy Douchebag Extraordinaire Gold

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    It was an instant episiotomy. :nojj: