WTF You Just Can't Make This Up

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by Horse Be Gone, Oct 22, 2015.

  1. Horse Be Gone

    Horse Be Gone VIP Extreme Gold

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    http://now8news.com/jimmy-dean-sausage-in-walmart-bathroom/


    Woman Arrested For Masturbating With Jimmy Dean Sausage In Walmart Bathroom
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    POSTED BY: NOW8NEWS OCTOBER 22, 2015

    Inform Your Friends!


    82.2K1972684.1K




    News 8 Louisiana – Police are calling this a crime of the unthinkable, something that most people would never imagine doing. On Monday, police were called to a Louisiana Walmart under the suspicion that a customer was shoplifting food. According to the complaint, a Walmart worker radioed security about a suspicious woman in the meat aisle. Security cameras filmed 33-year-old Shaniqua Johnson shoving sausages under her shirt. CCTV footage then shows the woman walking to the bathroom, where she remained for at least 30 minutes.


    The male security guard says he knocked on the bathroom door several times but the woman did not respond. He then announced he was entering. What he found behind the door of the unlocked stall is something he said will “haunt his dreams forever.” The security guard reports when he entered the stall, Johnson was inappropriately pleasing herself with a Jimmy Dean package of sausage. He said that when he entered “She didn’t even stop. She just stared at me and kept going.”


    Shocked, and also frightened for his safety due to the fact that Johnson is a “big girl,” the 140 pound security guard said he ran out until police arrived. When they did, female officers entered the restroom with Johnson still “putting in work with the sausage.” All in all, it took 7 police officers to restrain Johnson and pry the victimized sausage out of the woman’s hands. She was arrested and taken into custody where she was charged with shoplifting, indecent exposure, and resisting arrest. Walmart management said in no way do they tolerate this type of behavior. They have a strict policy against shoplifters and a sign on the bathroom door that clearly reads, “No merchandise allowed beyond this point.”

    - See more at: http://now8news.com/jimmy-dean-sausage-in-walmart-bathroom/#sthash.LXDiBfiM.dpuf
     
  2. Getthepoisonout

    Getthepoisonout I regret my username

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    She got the idea from Robin. I love the line "still putting in work with the sausage"
     
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  3. Beths Arab

    Beths Arab Well-Known Member VIP Gold

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    [​IMG]
     
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  4. IfTheyOnlyKnew

    IfTheyOnlyKnew VIP Extreme Gold

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    What. The. Actual. Fuck.


    :gross:
     
  5. chapped

    chapped Well-Known Member

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    Why did I click this thread?
     
  6. smellynugget

    smellynugget Well-Known Member

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    Is that a human? WTF...
     
  7. R.P. McMurphy

    R.P. McMurphy Well-Known Member

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    ...wow shes a looker.
     
  8. JesusTwinsBiggestFan

    JesusTwinsBiggestFan Well-Known Member

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    30 grand to put that sausage on the grill and eat it?
     
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  9. Gusbuss

    Gusbuss VIP Extreme Gold

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    Robinnnnnnn. Funny but fake
     
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  10. IfTheyOnlyKnew

    IfTheyOnlyKnew VIP Extreme Gold

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    [​IMG]
     
  11. AuntDolly

    AuntDolly Musculature Gold

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    The people who jack off in public are never people you even want to imagine masturbating, let alone see them doing it.
     
  12. SternsEgo

    SternsEgo Well-Known Member

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    Poor mr. jimmy dean
     
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  13. Jewlican

    Jewlican Not this shit again! VIP

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    I knew this would happen when McDonalds started that breakfast all day shit!
     
  14. HowieStearn

    HowieStearn HateClub

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    is that her? no wonder she's lonely
     
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  15. smellynugget

    smellynugget Well-Known Member

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    That poor sausage...
     
  16. Jewlican

    Jewlican Not this shit again! VIP

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    Perhaps she was just so full of food that she needed a new food hole?
     
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  17. JameGumb

    JameGumb We're all out of toner!

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    http://now8news.com/jimmy-dean-sausage-in-walmart-bathroom/

    SAUSAGE.jpg

    Woman Arrested For Masturbating With Jimmy Dean Sausage In Walmart Bathroom


    News 8 Louisiana – Police are calling this a crime of the unthinkable, something that most people would never imagine doing. On Monday, police were called to a Louisiana Walmart under the suspicion that a customer was shoplifting food. According to the complaint, a Walmart worker radioed security about a suspicious woman in the meat aisle. Security cameras filmed 33-year-old Shaniqua Johnson shoving sausages under her shirt. CCTV footage then shows the woman walking to the bathroom, where she remained for at least 30 minutes.
     
    check1 likes this.
  18. SouthernListen

    SouthernListen I don't follow the crowd. Sorry about that. VIP

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    Walmart makes my skin crawl.
     
  19. check1

    check1 VIP Extreme Gold

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  20. JameGumb

    JameGumb We're all out of toner!

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    It's a place to get motor oil, or a travel pair of flimsy ear buds. But never food.
     
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