WTF You Just Can't Make This Up

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by Horse Be Gone, Oct 22, 2015.

  1. Horse Be Gone

    Horse Be Gone VIP Extreme Gold

    Reputations:
    43,842
    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2012
    Messages:
    298
    Likes Received:
    504
    http://now8news.com/jimmy-dean-sausage-in-walmart-bathroom/


    Woman Arrested For Masturbating With Jimmy Dean Sausage In Walmart Bathroom
    [​IMG]
    POSTED BY: NOW8NEWS OCTOBER 22, 2015

    Inform Your Friends!


    82.2K1972684.1K




    News 8 Louisiana – Police are calling this a crime of the unthinkable, something that most people would never imagine doing. On Monday, police were called to a Louisiana Walmart under the suspicion that a customer was shoplifting food. According to the complaint, a Walmart worker radioed security about a suspicious woman in the meat aisle. Security cameras filmed 33-year-old Shaniqua Johnson shoving sausages under her shirt. CCTV footage then shows the woman walking to the bathroom, where she remained for at least 30 minutes.


    The male security guard says he knocked on the bathroom door several times but the woman did not respond. He then announced he was entering. What he found behind the door of the unlocked stall is something he said will “haunt his dreams forever.” The security guard reports when he entered the stall, Johnson was inappropriately pleasing herself with a Jimmy Dean package of sausage. He said that when he entered “She didn’t even stop. She just stared at me and kept going.”


    Shocked, and also frightened for his safety due to the fact that Johnson is a “big girl,” the 140 pound security guard said he ran out until police arrived. When they did, female officers entered the restroom with Johnson still “putting in work with the sausage.” All in all, it took 7 police officers to restrain Johnson and pry the victimized sausage out of the woman’s hands. She was arrested and taken into custody where she was charged with shoplifting, indecent exposure, and resisting arrest. Walmart management said in no way do they tolerate this type of behavior. They have a strict policy against shoplifters and a sign on the bathroom door that clearly reads, “No merchandise allowed beyond this point.”

    - See more at: http://now8news.com/jimmy-dean-sausage-in-walmart-bathroom/#sthash.LXDiBfiM.dpuf
     
  2. Getthepoisonout

    Getthepoisonout I regret my username

    Reputations:
    52,421
    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2012
    Messages:
    2,773
    Likes Received:
    6,079
    She got the idea from Robin. I love the line "still putting in work with the sausage"
     
    Xent, blindbella, reno and 6 others like this.
  3. Beths Arab

    Beths Arab Well-Known Member VIP Gold

    Reputations:
    41,355
    Joined:
    May 16, 2012
    Messages:
    4,421
    Likes Received:
    5,218
    [​IMG]
     
    1Vegasgirl, reno and AuntDolly like this.
  4. IfTheyOnlyKnew

    IfTheyOnlyKnew VIP Extreme Gold

    Reputations:
    663,513
    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2013
    Messages:
    23,871
    Likes Received:
    56,831
    What. The. Actual. Fuck.


    :gross:
     
  5. chapped

    chapped Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    384,616
    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2012
    Messages:
    55,632
    Likes Received:
    61,906
    Why did I click this thread?
     
  6. smellynugget

    smellynugget Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    3,931
    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2014
    Messages:
    566
    Likes Received:
    724
    Is that a human? WTF...
     
  7. R.P. McMurphy

    R.P. McMurphy Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    199,092
    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2012
    Messages:
    41,581
    Likes Received:
    40,972
    ...wow shes a looker.
     
  8. JesusTwinsBiggestFan

    JesusTwinsBiggestFan Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    21,886
    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2015
    Messages:
    2,034
    Likes Received:
    4,337
    30 grand to put that sausage on the grill and eat it?
     
    Richards Dad likes this.
  9. Gusbuss

    Gusbuss VIP Extreme Gold

    Reputations:
    45,393
    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2012
    Messages:
    3,962
    Likes Received:
    2,877
    Robinnnnnnn. Funny but fake
     
    Calloused Shins likes this.
  10. IfTheyOnlyKnew

    IfTheyOnlyKnew VIP Extreme Gold

    Reputations:
    663,513
    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2013
    Messages:
    23,871
    Likes Received:
    56,831
    [​IMG]
     
  11. AuntDolly

    AuntDolly Musculature Gold

    Reputations:
    37,220
    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2012
    Messages:
    4,480
    Likes Received:
    6,997
    The people who jack off in public are never people you even want to imagine masturbating, let alone see them doing it.
     
  12. SternsEgo

    SternsEgo Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    19,882
    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2012
    Messages:
    3,236
    Likes Received:
    4,520
    Poor mr. jimmy dean
     
    reno and IfTheyOnlyKnew like this.
  13. Jewlican

    Jewlican Well-Known Member VIP

    Reputations:
    6,968
    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2012
    Messages:
    638
    Likes Received:
    1,286
    I knew this would happen when McDonalds started that breakfast all day shit!
     
  14. HowieStearn

    HowieStearn HateClub

    Reputations:
    80,080
    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2011
    Messages:
    14,490
    Likes Received:
    14,263
    is that her? no wonder she's lonely
     
    1Vegasgirl likes this.
  15. smellynugget

    smellynugget Well-Known Member

    Reputations:
    3,931
    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2014
    Messages:
    566
    Likes Received:
    724
    That poor sausage...
     
  16. Jewlican

    Jewlican Well-Known Member VIP

    Reputations:
    6,968
    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2012
    Messages:
    638
    Likes Received:
    1,286
    Perhaps she was just so full of food that she needed a new food hole?
     
    John Mahlin likes this.
  17. JameGumb

    JameGumb We're all out of toner!

    Reputations:
    227,481
    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2013
    Messages:
    35,450
    Likes Received:
    26,789
    http://now8news.com/jimmy-dean-sausage-in-walmart-bathroom/

    SAUSAGE.jpg

    Woman Arrested For Masturbating With Jimmy Dean Sausage In Walmart Bathroom


    News 8 Louisiana – Police are calling this a crime of the unthinkable, something that most people would never imagine doing. On Monday, police were called to a Louisiana Walmart under the suspicion that a customer was shoplifting food. According to the complaint, a Walmart worker radioed security about a suspicious woman in the meat aisle. Security cameras filmed 33-year-old Shaniqua Johnson shoving sausages under her shirt. CCTV footage then shows the woman walking to the bathroom, where she remained for at least 30 minutes.
     
    check1 likes this.
  18. SouthernListen

    SouthernListen I don't follow the crowd. Sorry about that. VIP

    Reputations:
    240,262
    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2012
    Messages:
    38,685
    Likes Received:
    39,400
    Walmart makes my skin crawl.
     
  19. check1

    check1 VIP Extreme Gold

    Reputations:
    82,662
    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2013
    Messages:
    12,234
    Likes Received:
    13,094
  20. JameGumb

    JameGumb We're all out of toner!

    Reputations:
    227,481
    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2013
    Messages:
    35,450
    Likes Received:
    26,789
    It's a place to get motor oil, or a travel pair of flimsy ear buds. But never food.
     
    Scarlett Ohara likes this.