Your Rules For Valentine's Day

Discussion in 'The Bar' started by jokeland, Feb 14, 2014.

  1. jokeland

    jokeland Well-Known Member VIP

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    This is a rough day for the average guy. You don't know what level of importance to place on the holiday. Here are a few of jokeland's rules to get yourself a Valentine's KISS:

    K- know your love interest. If she is the type who will let you seal the deal with a Big Mac, there is no reason to pay ribeye prices.

    I- inside. Don't come inside her today. There are a lot of psychos out there looking to ensnare you. In her mind there is no better way than pregnancy. She may tell you she is on birth control. Don't get caught up believing it in an amorous moment. Stomach and chest shots today, gentlemen.

    S- Swallow. This is a day that is going to demand cuddling and making out after the act. Unless you are one of these modern day men who likes the taste of his own jizz, don't make her swallow as that is coming right back at you.

    S- Say goodnight. The glow of eroticism will ware off particularly harshly in the light of the morning of February 15. Don't ruin the memories of a great night with the horror of an average morning. Work, errands, your secret family...all these are good excuses but whatever it is, get out of that door before she turns into a pumpkin.

    These, of course, are only relevant to non married men. You married suckers have chosen your lives of damnation. Your only rule is to survive another day.

    Does anyone else want to lay some knowledge down to help navigate this treacherous day?
     
  2. gilaet

    gilaet Zen As Fuck Gold

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  3. Nibbler

    Nibbler heaven is in your mind Gold

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    Yes, you spelled wear wrong.
     
  4. jokeland

    jokeland Well-Known Member VIP

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    It's more that I used the incorrect word but the philosophy still holds
     
  5. Lawsy

    Lawsy Hey, buttholes

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    real men kiss a woman after her lips have been on his dick
     
  6. jokeland

    jokeland Well-Known Member VIP

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    your opinion is not in conflict with any of the above rules
     
  7. Lawsy

    Lawsy Hey, buttholes

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    this means if he cums as well :grad:
     
  8. jokeland

    jokeland Well-Known Member VIP

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    I'm afraid we are not compatible.
     
  9. gridman

    gridman Dancing Madly Backwards

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    My rule is i dont do valentines day. At all
     
  10. jokeland

    jokeland Well-Known Member VIP

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    As lovers. I'm sure we would make great friends. I still wouldn't share a cup or use the same eating utensils with you.
     
  11. Danas Boyfrien

    Danas Boyfrien Trump's African American Gold

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    This. If I give a chick flowers and take her to the IHOP it's because it's Wednsday and I want to get laid later. Guys who buy into this Valentine's Day bullshit are morons, unless they have an agreement where they don't have to do shit for the for chick the other 364 days of the year.
     
    Last edited: Feb 14, 2014
  12. Lawsy

    Lawsy Hey, buttholes

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    Tuesday deserves better. :no: