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Stern Show Howard's quotes on marriage (after divorce, before re-marrying)

Discussion in 'The Howard Stern Show' started by F Penelope, Apr 25, 2016.

  1. yaddc

    yaddc VIP Extreme Gold

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    The guy goes down as one of the biggest bull shitters in history.
     
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  2. LawyerLarry

    LawyerLarry Mr. Fuckmoney in the Bank VIP Gold

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    Listening to the 8-23-07 show this morning and Bob Saget was on the show and they talked about the time Howard and Beth had a swingers orgy with John Stamos and Rebecca. Howard revealed that there was also a 3rd woman present and John Stamos said let's get naked and get in the tub and Beth got in there with him so Howard went to his room to pout and Rebecca came in there but nothing happened between Howard and Rebecca, but John Stamos touched Beth's breasts.
     
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  3. Willowglen

    Willowglen Lookin thru the glass ceiling & up Stephs skirt VIP

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    Id comment on this but im too busy going back a year to see if theres any of my old threads that i feel should be bumped.
     
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  4. Austinchota

    Austinchota Well-Known Member Banned User

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    [​IMG]
     
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  5. Vincenzo69

    Vincenzo69 Well-Known Member VIP

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    Didn’t Artie do that roast joke about Howard sharing a hot tub with Stamos, Rebecca and Beth and saying who doesn’t fit into that picture?
     
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  6. tHISisKiSSeL

    tHISisKiSSeL ♡❂❁❀♡ Gold

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    I'd be more interested in a collection of the bullshit dates of when they met and stories of how they met since both the dates and story have evolved many times. Also cross reference with the "mad tear".
     
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  7. F Penelope

    F Penelope Active Member

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    Back Story:
    Since moving from a driving job to a desk job in 1999, I've been listening to shows chronologically (at a snail's pace). As I progress through the year 2001, I found another interesting conversation about marriage. This is the first time Beth actually calls in to participate in the topic. Again, I'm not out to call him a hypocrite or liar. I'm not trying to chastise him. I'm not trying to bust his balls. I'm not trying to say he should or shouldn't have gotten remarried. I just find it interesting. If you look earlier in this thread, you'll find more quotes like this.


    December 5, 2001
    Caller: "What kind of relationship are you having right now? I mean, where's it supposed to go for her? She's younger. She's eventually going to want a husband for the rest of her life."
    Howard: "Who, me?"
    Caller: "No, her."
    Howard: "Robin?"
    Caller: "No, your girlfriend."
    Howard: "Oh, my girlfriend?"
    Caller: "Yeah."
    Howard: "Why do you assume she needs a relationship for the rest of her life? You don't even know her."
    Caller: "I don't know her."
    Howard: "You think she's like every other woman."
    Caller: "How old is she?"
    Howard: "29."
    Caller: "29..."
    Stuttering John: "Well, she's totally in love with you."
    Caller: "Does she want to have children?"
    Howard: "Well, I'm in love with her too. No, she does not want to have children."
    Caller: "That might change."
    Howard: "It might. But if it changes, then she should go have children. I mean, we- we're not- we- we're not delusional."
    Robin: "See, he doesn't love her. He likes her a lot."
    Stuttering John: "Yeah."
    Howard: "No, I love her."
    Robin: "No, you don't. Because you'd do anything she wanted if you loved her."
    Howard: "No. I wouldn't ruin her life by marrying her and saying, 'Hey-' First of all, I know I'm no good at marriage. We've learned that.
    Robin: "A person in love can very easily..."
    Howard: "Doesn't matter."
    Stuttering John: "Maybe she'd let you have an open marriage."
    Howard: "Number two, marriage frightens the hell out of me because I know things can change. Number three, I no longer believe in marriage. Number four, I never ever want to have more kids. I'm very satisfied with the three I have. So I wouldn't do that to a woman. If a woman wanted to have children, I would tell her-"
    Robin: "And therefore I say he's in 'heavy like', not in love."
    Howard: "All right, well, we'll see. You're not in my skin."
    Robin: "I know what people do when they're in love. These things disappear in love."
    Howard: "Really?"
    Robin: "Yes."
    Howard: "All right."
    Robin: "All of the objections disappear."
    Howard: "I'm a realist. You know what? I can love someone so much I don't want to wreck their lives."
    Robin: "Well, that's not- then you don't love them.
    Howard: "That's not true."
    Robin: "Yes."
    Howard: "No, that's your opinion."
    ...
    Howard: "Marriage is forever. The premise of marriage is you're going to be together forever as soul mates. I don't believe that premise anymore, that you can be with someone forever. Maybe you could, but I don't think you need to get married to prove it ... I never want to live with another person again. I don't."
    Stuttering John: "Wait, you don't live with Beth?"
    Howard: "No. No, we have separate apartments and-"
    Stuttering John: "She doesn't sleep over?"
    Howard: "She sleeps over, but we don't- uh- y'know- we- if I need space, I take it. You know what I mean? I can't be in a relationship where I'm living with somebody. I don't want to live with anyone."
    ...
    Howard: "And by the way, Beth is much younger than me and the fact of the matter is that if she felt she needed some marriage situation or a guy like that, I would say that's something that she should look into, because I would ruin her life if I couldn't give her what she wanted."
    ...
    Howard: "If (Beth) wanted to get married she would get married for herself and follow that route. She wouldn't be with a man who doesn't want to get married."
    Stuttering John: "But usually the guy..."
    Howard: "Listen, what is she gonna (do) lie to herself? She doesn't want to get married."
    Artie: "Does she get pressure from her mother, though?"
    Robin: "Maybe she is like me. I've never met anybody else like me who knew they didn't ever want to get married or have children."
    Howard: "Talk to her. She has iss- I'm not gonna get into her story, but she has issues about marriage. And you know what they are. And she has issues about children and all that other stuff. She knows for herself that it wouldn't be- she doesn't want to- it's like you, she knows what she wants."
    Robin: "I don't have any issues with it, it's just not for me."
    Howard: "Well, that's what I mean. She just knows- she loves kids. She just doesn't want to sit there and raise children. That's not her idea of a life."
    Artie: "Well, I'll tell ya, I've been out with you a couple of times and you're one of the happiest couples I've ever seen together."
    Howard: "Because we're not married."
    Artie: "Honestly, you look like you have a lot of fun."
    Howard: "We have a good time together."
    Stuttering John: "Every night, it seems like it's their first time together."
    Howard: "And we even say that."
    Stuttering John: "You guys vibra- I mean, radiate-"
    Robin: "That's wonderful."
    Howard: "And that's the way it should be. And we've even said if we feel that slipping away, then we'll turn to each other and go, 'You know what? It ain't working anymore. We want back what we had and we've got to go find it with someone else.' But so far, so good. I ain't looking to rush and get married. What? Ruin everything? Hell no! I'm happy."
    Robin: "This is the only thing marriage can do?"
    Howard: "Ruin it! Oh, absolutely! Ask John!"
    ...
    Gary: "Go line 16 and the subject of this whole discussion is on the line. Beth is on."
    Howard: "Beth is on. How did that happen?"
    Gary: "Her brother called her and said you were talking."
    ...
    Stuttering John: "Would you want to get married, Beth, to Howard?"
    Beth: "Would I want to? I don't want to get married."
    Robin: "But could you?"
    Stuttering John: "If Howard asked you, would you say yes?"
    Beth: I- Howard is definitely the love of my life. Put it that way.
    Robin: All right, so you would marry him if he asked you.
    Beth: If- there- we're not- we don't want to get married.
    Robin: I didn't ask you that. I asked you if he asked you, you would say yes.
    Beth: It- It would never go there.
    Howard: You don't want to get married.
    Beth: I don't want to get married.
    Howard: Why are you- why are you- she's answering it- she's answering it-
    Robin: It's a yes or no question.
    Howard: But she knows I don't ever want to get married.
    Robin: That's not the point, I'm saying-
    Beth: If- if- ok- ok- If he wanted to get married and I wanted to get married, he would be the one I wanted to marry.
    ...
    Howard: Honey, let me ask you something. Because this is true. I- I don't ever want to get married. And we've discussed this, right?
    Beth: Right, right.
    Howard: And right now, in your life, you say you don't ever want to get married. And that could change.
    Beth: Correct.
    Howard: But the fact of the matter is you would go out and find a guy that you think would be more suitable for marriage, right? If it came down to that, that you wanted to get married.
    Stuttering John: No way.
    Robin: How could that be so easy to do if she loves you?
    Beth: Yeah, I can't answer that.
    Robin: See! I'm telling you she-
    Howard: But I'm telling you, she doesn't want to get married.
    Robin: But my point is she loves you. It's not so easy- just because you change your mind all of a sudden and say, 'Now I want to get married', you can't just X this guy out. You love him.
    ...
    Howard: How can she answer a hypothetical. She's not someone who believes in marriage. She doesn't believe in it.
    Beth: I believe in it for some people but not for myself. I mean, I believe that marriage could work, but not for me.
    Howard: Right. She has issues with marriage.
     
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  8. Austinchota

    Austinchota Well-Known Member Banned User

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  9. greenchiclets

    greenchiclets Living in the 70's

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    Ya know, what I've gotten from this is, Robin is even annoying in TEXT form.
     
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  10. Austinchota

    Austinchota Well-Known Member Banned User

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  11. bobblebooey

    bobblebooey Well-Known Member

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  12. F Penelope

    F Penelope Active Member

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    Stumbled on this recently...

    2002:

    Robin: They cloned a kitty cat.
    Howard: Yeah, I saw they cloned a cat. I'm all for that. I love that.
    Robin: No. The people who- you know those animal people- those animal wacko people who are always saving animals. They were screaming they were so angry.
    Howard: Why?
    Robin: Because thousands and thousands of cats are killed every day because we've got too many cats being born.
    Howard: No, they're off their rocker.
     
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  13. Vincenzo69

    Vincenzo69 Well-Known Member VIP

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    Even better I like the timeline where Alison remarried within a year of the divorce
     
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  14. Winst

    Winst Well-Known Member VIP

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    Oddly enough...or maybe not so much....his expressed thoughts and feelings about the
    State of Israel haven't changed all that much.

    If anything....they may have become even "stronger".

    No one notice.
    Know one ask.


    Who is Scott Ostrosky?


     
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  15. Winst

    Winst Well-Known Member VIP

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    Maybe she was operating on a different timeline that sum call.."reality".

    Asking why...might get...sum things.


     
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  16. Snort

    Snort Beep beep, Richie. Gold

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    @HypocriteHowie that's who
     
  17. Snort

    Snort Beep beep, Richie. Gold

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    @scrambler we have an illegal bumping. Alert google before it breaks.
     
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  18. scrambler

    scrambler I hear you singing in the wires 2010 OG VIP

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    Major Google violation!
     
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  19. Snort

    Snort Beep beep, Richie. Gold

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  20. Snort

    Snort Beep beep, Richie. Gold

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